blue moon (2)

Friday, September 23, 2005

Demon In The Machine ©

Ever have one of those days.
Well I seem to have them on a regular basis.
It’s a wonder I just haven’t shot myself in the head and gotten all the bullshit over with. Not to worry I don’t intend to do it. I would probably miss anyway and still have those problems and a discharging a weapon within city limits charge on top of it.
It began last night with my bedroom laptop.
You know the one Sara and I wet the sheets with. I fired it up and it seemed ok.
Now the bedroom laptop is a Toshiba Portage and it’s a cute little fucker that’s made to carry around. It has no cd or floppy it’s just a very expensive Palm. It’s kinda cool too.
The screen turns a full 180 degrees so that you don’t have to pick it up and turn it to show someone something.
Well last night after it booted up it started doing some really fucked up shit. It boots up directly into my blog and opens Sara’s blog too. Throw in some of the other shit that keeps it safe from the lurking pop ups and the FUCKEN SPY SHIT!!!!!!!!
It’s usually a full page with everything that opens.
Then it reboots.
I didn’t touch nothing, it just booted on its own.
Ok I can wait.
Welcome to windows
Lost Here And Beyond
Internet lovers
This was going on boot after boot after boot.
Well my bed was on fire but not to the sultry voice of my sweet one but from the brewing frustration and anger that was coming from this soon to be smashed expensive Hotline to New Zealand.
I was now trying to get between booting and windows and FINALLY get into the DOS prompt.
That was another lifetime ago.
The language of the ancients.
OK I can do this right?
Let me see.
Delete this, delete that.
WTF is that thing.
Ok If I don’t know it…. might as well delete it.
Ok it should reboot now and stay in windows.
Hit restart and wait.
Welcome to windows
Fxbio’;[utn8oppbm mi[0fny,i[0dui[0n[i0[p
n,i[0i[0yjom]o-.-o[bda[0 230-5[ser[kawe
futn7ioafu,af]o0- ].o-\cfawi[acuwev
‘fn8oqw4 1iyuf’pa’0MIqwevki.[0
I swear it was like Linda Blair with it’s screen spinning around spewing Java script all over the bed instead of pea soup.
I need and ordained techician to fix this laptop.
Now if it had a cd fucken rom it would have been easy but it doesn’t have one.
What it does do is give me network support which I can access one of the other units in the house so I can fix it.
Needless to say by 8 am and that’s from 2 am it’s fixed.
BTW after the scan for spy wear was done it found 1956 files.

I managed to get to bed for a couple of hours. Then I got up and ready to take my mother to the doctor for her yearly asthma test and her allergy tests.
Now this is a lesson in English every time I go there.
Now my mother has been in this country for over 46 years.
Her English sucks on a good day. Because of the neighborhood we lived in there were many Greeks so they never needed to learn English that well and she didn’t. None of them did. “That’s why we have kids” is their response when we bug them about it. We went to school so they wouldn’t have to speak English.
Now her doctor in from China and his English sucks the big one too.
Now I talk to the doctor in more or less perfect English and he understands nothing.
I talk to my mother in perfect English and she understands nothing.
They talk to each other in Anglo Greek Chinese and they understand EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
WTF is with that?
What do I know?
I came home after the doctor’s office and I crawled into the closet and dug out some more of my albums.
I have decided to sell them to help fund my trip to NZ and cover the extra money pilled on. I want to sell them because I don’t play them and they are taking up room.
I have a little over 1000 albums.
I went over to the place where you can sell them and asked how much they pay and they said a dollar.
Now as I was looking through them I saw many many early rock albums like Elton Johns first record and Genesis and many, many more. I have the original Beatles White album from England and its numbered and the North American release and the album that is pure white.
I have 400 albums dating all the way back to Woodstock and before.
A dollar, it makes me cringe.
I will sell them because what I need the money for is more important but I’ll tell you this. I am picking out the collectors from the rest and they WILL be the last ones they see because they can kiss my ass if I am going to sell them for a BUCK!!!!!!!!

Fridays Jokes

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition." (There are always conditions.)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (Controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said...

"Clean my house."

Granny's advice

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you.
You are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.
The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted.
"Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family.
When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family..."

Granny fainted.

Have a nice Weekend.


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