blue moon (2)

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Walker’s Dumbest Stunts #3 The Race ©

Now I wasn’t going to post today (was on the phone with Sara. The woman CAN make my knees wobble) but I figured since I was busy tomorrow and on Sunday that I should do something today.
So how about one of Walkers Dumbest Stunts? I think this is #3?

Walker’s Dumbest Stunts #3
The Race

Now suffice to say that when you get a group of guys, high on pot, full of testosterone and nothing to do; then there is the right combination for trouble.
Such was the case one Saturday afternoon 35 years ago.
We had smoked a couple of joints and were sitting by the Rideau River doing some recreational fishing.
We were sitting there talking about some of the things we had done and whose stunt was crazier.
It’s a guy thing ladies, we don’t think about getting killed at that age.
As we were laying there talking and looking up, someone said lets race across the bridge we were sitting under.
I looked up and it was about 80-100 feet above the water.
Ok it was 30-40 feet but 80-100 sounded better.
“From the under side or the top side”, I asked? I knew what the answer was going to be.
“From the under side” came back the reply.
The race was to be run from the under side of the bridge hanging off of the girders.
This was going to take a while, but it was a Saturday and there was nothing to do.
Three of us took part; Philip, Snake and yours truly.
We each took a side.
I was on the left side, Philip in the middle and Snake took the far right.
We took off at once. The first task was to climb up the supports with no help from anyone. This took awhile to find dead trees to drag over for a boost up.
Once on top of the supports we climbed the substructure and started going across. I had a bit of a lead but the other two were catching up fast.
The first stage (yes there were stages) was to cross from one support to the other which was over land. There were going to be 5 stages to this race. (This is what the enderside of the bridge we crossed looked like. We started from the other side of those 2 cement supports. There are a set of girders running under the bridge.)
When I got to the end of the first part I was surprised to find out that the substructure tapered up and didn’t go all the way to the support . There was a 5 foot gap from one support to the other.
Now what?
I sat there thinking for so long the others reached to the same spot on their routes. We stood there like idiots with no where to go.
“Well, I said it looks like the end of the line.”
But it wasn’t Philip took off his belt and used it like a grappling hook to snag the substructure on the other side.
We all started doing that and Snake got it first and swung over.
Then it was Philip and I got it eventually.
So much for me wanting to be a cowboy, I couldn’t lasso a bridge.
The second leg took us over the water.
Going across was not so easy. The beams we were walking on were only 6 inches wide and there was nothing over head to hold on too.
We had our backs to the bridge and faced the water. Better to fall and see where you are falling.
Did I mention I didn’t know how to swim?
It must have slipped my mind.
When we …….. Oops ……..BRB
Ok I’m back. I am baking a double chocolate cake with cherry pie filling folded into it.
Where was I now, oh yes?
When we got to the end of the second stage we pulled out the belts and did the grappling thing again.
We got across quickly this time but Snake dropped his belt when he was climbing up to unfasten it.
It fell 40 feet down into the water.
He kept on going and by the time we reached the middle of the river and the end of the third stage he was worried. Without the belt he wouldn’t be able to cross and that’s either way.
Looking down 40 feet, we figured the water was no more than 6 feet deep and there were stumps every where.
Snaked asked us what he should do?
We said bye and kept on going.
Snake was screaming the whole time that he was going to die, and if someone could go on top of the bridge and lower him his last beer before he expired.
After the Snake episode we kept a grip on our belts and forged on.
Philip slipped at on stage but was close to the end of the forth stage and managed to grasp the edge and stay on. I crossed and headed on the last leg of this race with a clear view of the end.
In fact I jumped off before the end as soon as the ground was close with Philip 10 minutes behind.
We sat on the opposite shore where the others had gathered drinking a beer each and laughing it up when in the distance we heard a loud splash and Snake came on shore soaked but asking for another beer.
It took us 3 hours to get across, when it take less than 1 minute to do it with a car, or 15 minutes to walk across.
This is what happens when a group of guys have nothing to do.


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