blue moon (2)

Friday, August 19, 2005

Start Your Engines !!!!!!! ©

Today I got a phone call from my brother to go out and help him with some computer work and that eventually I would take them as my clients because he can’t do it anymore. I could use the extra money but I don’t think it will help me in the short run. The fun part of today was that these guys work at a body shop for high end cars. Mind you with the price of cars and gas today what isn’t a high end car.
I have driven many sports cars. I drove a Delorean but not without sunglasses. The damn thing is made out of stainless steal and when the sun shone on it was like a big light bulb during the day. The doors would open straight up with the touch of a button. This was a nice car to look at but was a little rough to sit in and drive.
I never checked the trunk to see if cocaine was a standard feature.
Some of you may remember that the owner of the company Mr John Deloren was busted and convicted of trafficing cocain. I think he was convicted at any rate. His company was in financial trouble to he got into the wrong business to save his name sake.
I drove a lime green Ferrari once. It had a 460 cubic inch ford engine in the trunk section of the car. I think the parachutes were under the hood because that baby flew. I remember hitting 100 mph and there was lots of air between the gas pedal and the floor. When I got it back to the shop and turn off the key, the steering wheel fell off.Talk about lucky.The screw had not been tightened.
I had to feel like Thomas Magnum for a little while I guess.
I drove a vintage Jaguar 10 years ago.
It was a 60’s car with a v12. The guy the let me drive it told me I had to put gas in it though. I drove around the city with no top on, constantly looking at the gas gauge and when I had my fill I went to the gas station to fill it upI told the attendant to put 20 bucks in and he took off.About 10 minutes later he is standing at the side of the door holding the nozzle. He asked where the gas tank was.
I got out and looked with the attendant for about half an hour but we couldn’t locate it. I got in and brought the car to the guy and asked him where that tank was. He was laughing at me. Apparently that was the big joke; he knew I wouldn’t find it..

The gas tank was……..behind the fucken left back light. It opened up to reveal the hole.
I have driven a few Corvettes and almost bought one. A guy wanted to trade his Vette for my Buick Regal but seeing as I was going to have a kid I needed the back seat. The girl friend refused to take the bus, while the kid and I drove, ‘Sigh’.
I have driven almost all the North American Muscle cars and owned a couple. A 1970 Dodge Charger, my favorite of all I beleive of the old muscle cars. I almost bought one but by the time I returned with the money it was gone.
Then there was the 69 Chevy that my cousin owned that I lot control fo and flew over a ditch, a fence and knocked down a pole and then didn't tell him about it. He got into the car and didn't notice the quarter panel banged in until much later and believed it was done in the parking lot of the restaurant we were in. I did eventually tell him.......15 years later, I figured he had cooled down by then since the car was long gone.
He hadn't, crap. There had been someone in the car with me that night and as we sailed through the air he did manage to piss his pants. Thats the way I made him keep quite. If he told on me I told him I was going to tell everyone he pissed himself.
My friend Steve, our token mechanic had a 67 Camero z28 with a 427 engine that I had the pleassure of driving. The damn thing burned more gas than I drank beer and back then it was quit the feat.
The one car I had not driven and got to drive one today was a Porsche.
It’s not the Porsche I would have liked to drive but it was a Porsche just the same. I had my ass wrapped in $150,000 worth of car. If any of you think I was a pussy with it. Think again. It was a Porsche Boxter and it did 200 kms without a problem on the Queensway. If there were any cops that spotted me, well they can pull over that little pin head nerd that owned it Ha Ha Ha.
The guy came to pick it up about 30 minutes after I brought it back. He drove it like it was a delicate piece of crystal.
Sorry for the yelling.
So my need for speed has been satisfied for now until I race off to New Zealand to be with Sara.

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It's It's I ain't telling, go find out smile Clik the smily

Fridays Joke

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said, "No." The dispatcher told him that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello - I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed.
Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
"I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Have a Happy Weekend


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