blue moon (2)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The D.T. Files ©

What to write today. Let’s see, I think I should have a laugh at my brother expense.
So we will delve into the D.T. FILES. Don’t tell files)
I have LOTS of D.T. FILES but I promised not to tell, so I won’t BUT I didn’t promises on All of them so here is one.

Episode 1

The Cable Guy

My brother just started working for a cable company. These companies contract out to install cable for the main company. He took the tests and passed. I think the only test was are you dumb enough to climb up a 40ft ladder on a windy day and who ever answered yes, got the job.
He is good at what he does, he has been installing dishes long enough so this was the same.
The only problem he has, is he hates going anywhere alone for some reason and always drags along an unsuspecting victim.
I have been sucked in many times, with the line,
‘’wait here in the car for 15 minutes and I’ll be back.’’ Two fucken hours later I’m trying to figure out where the hell I am and how to get home, because he was the keys.
I’m not alone in this, but the list is to long to type.
This particular time, my sister in law is the poor soul, stuck in the car.
She wasn’t that dumb, knowing how he is she put food in a Tupperware container and took the laptop so she can finish inputting the jobs he has completed for the week before. It’s his job to input the work he has done but hates doing it. So he gets her to do it.
Did I mention he likes everyone doing everything for him and takes credit for the work?
Any how this is not about that.
He had a job to do in a high rise and he asked her to come alone. Armed with enough stuff to keep her busy for the 15 minutes he will be gone, off they went.
They get there and he takes his box and leaves. She opens the laptop and starts working. She was going pretty fast and decided to have something to eat. She was drinking her Tim Horton’s coffee, eating and inputting data, when all of the sudden, fire trucks showed up in front of her.
She immediately got worried, because they were parked in the fire lane, and she didn’t have the keys, he took them with him.
The fire men ignored her and ran into the building. Probably another false fire alarm she thought, so she went back to work.
About 15 minutes later my brother comes to the van and opens her door.
He asks her, “didn’t you notice I was gone for over 2 hours?”
She just looked at him, “You have been gone for two hours?”
She had gotten into what she was doing that she didn’t notice the time go by.
Back in the building though my brother had gone to the basement and into the utility room where the cable boxes are and when the door closed behind him the handle came off and he couldn’t get out.
He was in there banging on the door but nothing. It was a steel fire door.
Not to worry though, he pulls out his cell phone, you know the one that costs the most money and works anywhere; except in basement utility rooms that is.
The room was 8x6 and getting very hot.
He heard the elevator door open and started screaming but no one heard him.
He was beginning to sweat and removed his shirt.
He kept on trying to dial out but there was no way. After about and hour and a half, him in his T-shirt and underwear, lay on the floor and slipped the antennae under the door and dialed out from there.
He got 911 and they sent the fire department.
When the fire department arrived, they got to the door and the first thing they say was an antenna sticking from under the door and a rolled up paper. They opened the door and my brother was on the floor breathing through the paper. He got up and they checked him but he was fine.
Before he left a fireman asked, “Hey why didn’t you put the handle back on and open the door?”
My brother just stood there staring at him.
It had never dawned on him in over 2 hours of being locked in the room, that all he had to do was put the handle back on and open the door.

Have a nice day.


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