blue moon (2)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Duhhhhh What Do I Know? ©

I was sent these questions or points of fact, by a very good friend of mine, as a joke; but I took it upon myself to answer them as best as my drained brain allows me.

Thank You Leti. smile

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
A: Because we know batteries are like lemons, if we squeeze hard enough we’ll get another drop.

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
A: Because they know you have no money anyway, so what’s a little more of nothing.

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
A: Because they never believed you to begin with about the 4 billion Stars.

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
A: Because there is no air in the bottle.

5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
A: Because they want it to be a clean kill.

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
A: Because his lion, with the raspy tongue licks the hair off his face.

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?A: Because he is soft, in the Head.

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
A: Have you seen pictures of their haircuts?

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
A: The same person that put the “k” in knife

10. What is the speed of darkness?
A: The same speed as light.

11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
A: Yes, but your need a sticker.

12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
A: With coffee beans of course?

13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
A: I’m in Canada, what is cold? -136.58 C (or -230 F.)

14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
A: Because some just refuse to change.

15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
A: Waiting for your help.

16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
A: I have never been married but I’d like to live longer to spend more time with Sara.

17. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation
A: No it’s a family dispute.

These are my answers and calculations so they may be wrong. LOL

Feel free to give me your answers .


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