blue moon (2)

Thursday, May 05, 2005

What If's........... ©

The person who I care about the most has decided to burden me with writing 5 small posts instead of one. I barely get one typed up let alone 5. Thank you dear.

The idea here is simple someone you know, who has you on their list (at least they better for all the thinking you have to do) sends you a list of possible occupations you could be in. You pick 5 and tell everyone what you would be like if you were in these occupations. The list is at the bottom of my possible occupations.

If I could be a chef: I would create the most luscious meals my imagination could come up with. The plates would be like canvases and the meals like works of art spread across them. The meals would be drizzled in rich sauces and framed with colorful exotic vegetable which most people had never seen before, making them sensual and seductive.
The salads would be crisp and bright with the colors of spring. I would have edible flower petals garnishing these colors, topped with a zesty dressing that would wake up the dullest of pallets, making it scream out for more.
All my meals would be Low Cal causing people to create huge line ups to get in, thus making me rich and famous, so that I could retire in a big house next to a McDonalds.

If I could be a homeless person: I would never have to pay rent to a landlord. I would have no hydro bills, phone bills, property taxes.
No one would bother me because I would never bath, in fact they would give me money to stay away from them because I would smelled so bad. I would sleep on park benches in nice weather and under tunnels to be out of the rain and when the weather got cold, I would get caught shop lifting and spend the winter in jail.
I would eat out of the garbage from the fanciest restaurants in town and live like a king. When I got old, I would retire to a condemned building next to a McDonalds garbage bin.

If I could be a Business Owner: I would hire all the pan handlers on the street that have been begging money from me for years and tell them they had no excuse to beg no more. I would see how long they would last.
The ones that stayed would become my best workers and my business would grow. I would hire more pan handlers and become rich and buy an Island next to a McDonalds and retire, leaving the Pan Handlers to run the business.

If I could be a Taxi Driver: I would speak a foreign language and not understand a word of English. I would take people the long way to their destinations, sometimes driving twice around the block to make sure I was at the right place. I would constantly be talking on the cell phone while driving through red light, barely missing pedestrians. I would slow down to get caught by the red lights and speed up to scare pedestrians. If I can get the chance to cut someone off I will and never drive under the speed limit when alone in the Taxi. When customers ask me to take them to a good restaurant, I would take them to the drive thou window at McDonalds.

If I could be a Masseuse: All my clients would be women. I would love pouring warm oil over the soft, silky skin of a woman, and gently with firm hands slowly work it into the various muscles of her body.
Starting from the back of her neck and slowly working down her back, running my hands over the soft curves of her body, gently squeezing with my fingers.
I would listen to their soft breathing and the moans as my hands would find a spot of pain, being turned to pleasure. I would feel their bodies go from being a tense mass of muscle to a relaxed soft bolt of silk.
When I’d be done they would leave with a soft content smile on their faces as if they had just finished making soft passionate love.
It would probably be my first and last day on the job, because Sara would want all exclusive massage privileges after that. She would make me open an office, with her as my only client in the suburbs next door to a McDonalds.

Now I have to tag 5 of you for this game. If any of you want to bite me for this, remember it was Sara who thrust this upon me. LOL Wooo Hoooo passed the buck back.
Feel free to add acouple as I have when your done.

Mrhaney: I think you would do well at this because I believe you are a man of many talents.

Katya: I just like your honesty and straight forwardness, besides if you can knock of 3 lists this should be a walk in the park.

Carol: Your description of your journey to work just left me speechless. I know you would be great in any of these occupations. I also love your unbias opinions.

June: I know your gonna hate me for this, with you trip coming up, but I had to. I like your view on Life.

DB: Only because I know you’ll say it as it is.

If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a service member...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime (by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)
If I could be a masseuse (by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)
If I could be a priest (by Brian)
If I could be a fighter pilot (by Sara)
If I could be a homeless person (by Sara)
If I could be a biker (by Walker)
If I could be a mortician (by Walker)

Now that this done, my hands need a rest and Nooooooooo that’s not what I was doing. I suck at typing, so this is a strain. Enjoy, I’ll be looking forward to visiting your blogs and seeing all your choices. Take you time and remember send all your complaints here.
I'll be off learning how to milk cows.


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