Ring A Ding A Ling ©

Isn’t life a big fucken petri dish, with all sorts of shit growing in it?
This, once again is not the post I had for today. You’d think I’d have a large collection of drafts sitting there. Well I do.
I was up until 8 am talking to Sara and one of her friends last night.
I crawled into bed and curled up with my Sara pillow. It’s the one she used when she was here, to bad it doesn’t have the big hooters she’s got, but it still was hers and I sleep better with it.
I was lying there in a deep trance, running my palms over her hard nipples when the phone rang.
Crap I hate that, just as I was getting to the best part. Don’t you hate when you’re having a great dream and you get woken up and then when you go back to sleep there is no way you can dream the same dream again.
I look at the clock next to the phone and its 10 am. GRRRRRRRRRR
Hello…….
Hi Walker it’s me.
Hi me, who the fuck are you?
It’s Sue.
Hi Sue, which fucken Sue are you, who dosn’t know, that I don’t get up before noon.
It’s me Sue, your brother’s sister in law.
Who’s the stupid shit that gave you my number, so I can have him/her killed?
Ha Ha Ha, you’re so funny.
Ha Ha Ha, I wasn’t trying to be. What can I do for you?
Well it’s my sister’s 40th birthday in 2 weeks and I want to give her a big party. I plan on reserving tables at a restaurant.
That’s nice of you. So why are you waking me up?
I needed to know if you knew any of her friends and who I should invite.
Yeah sure I can help there. So I gave her the names of certain friends and told her I would call them up so that it would be a surprise.
That would be great she said. I still need one more favor.
Ok, that’s not a problem. What do you need?
I need a date, you heard I am filing for divorce and I don’t want to go alone.
Ah fuck, now those of you who have been reading my posts, know that this woman has me knocking her up on her agenda. Not that it will happen for many reasons but I have a girl friend, and I’m loyal and stubborn to what I want.
Ok I guess I can do that I will meet you there.
No No I know you don’t have a car and I will pick you up.
Hmmm, ok then, what time?
I’ll have the Limo pick you up at 6 pm, Bye Bye.
What? Limo…….Hey, where did she go?
Fuck, now I got to get up, the phone in the bedroom does not have call display.
I go down stairs and get my other phone and call her back.
Hi Sue its Walker. What do you mean, Limo?
I ‘m renting a limo for us to go, I want to drink and not drive.
But the restaurant is 5 blocks from my house, what do I need a Limo for? I can walk there and meet you a lot faster.
No I want to show up in style.
“Sigh” Ok then, I think it’s a waste of money though.
Oh, and I’m picking up the bill to, Bye Bye.
Ok, now I have a date with someone next Friday that I have no interest in, not to mention I’m horny as hell and my baby is 7 months away. Add on the fact that I’m beat and need some more sleep.
I stagger back up stairs and crawls back into bed. Just as I start falling asleep the phone rings, GROOOOOOOOAN.
Hello.
Hi, it’s me.
Fuck, who the hell is me, everyone is me. Sue is this you?
No, it’s me your sister in law. Who’s Sue?
“Sigh”, never mind. What can I do for you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Sleeping I think, who the fuck knows it all depends on BELL FUCKEN CANADA. Why?
I thought you may want to go to dim sum with me.
Shit, I love dim sum. Yeah ok I’ll be there at 11 am.
I hang up the phone and I lay there waiting for the phone to ring. Nothing happened and guess what I couldn’t go back to sleep.
I get up and dressed, fuck the shower and screw the breakfast, I’m going to buy some beer and get a buzz. I get out the door and as I’m shutting it, the phone rings.
I lock the door and leave.


3 am Update : Buzzed , Have a nice weekend



Walker