Wings ©

Helloooooooooooo Everybody. What a day to wake up to with a twinge. Yesterday was Monday and at the local pub that meant chicken wings. I’m nuts about chicken wings and the hotter the better. I want mine so hot the snow on the side of the street melts when I walk by.
So a friend and I took off for the weekly feast. It’s been awhile since I had any and this was a treat. We get there and I ask. Do you still have the wings special and he says yes and rattles off the types of sauces. We were deaf after suicide wings .We ordered 3 pounds of them and waited. 30 minutes later they arrived.
I remember one time when we were at the Royal Oak pub about 10 years ago and we had gone in for wings and we complained about the mild, dead, tasteless suicide sauce that was barely hotter than ketchup. The cook heard us and said wait I’ll make you more. We said screw that where would we put them, but told him we’d be in next week.
Next week rolls around and we show up at the Oak for our pile of wings. The cook was ready. Hi ya Cindy I say to the waitress, hey she replies. What can I get you? I look at Rick and he says 40. Cool I reply. 40 wings Cindy, suicide please. She takes off to the kitchen with our order and we get a jug of draft.
20 minutes later I see Cindy walking back with tears running down her cheeks. Her boyfriend must have dumped her, the poor thing but it was ok she was bringing our wings. She put the wings on the table and I passed her a napkin to wipe the tears away, at which point she put her hand on my cheek and burst into tears running back to the kitchen. What a doll.
Ok wing time.
We each grab a wing and start eating.
OMG.
These are hot.
No.
These are really HOT.
These are to hot to eat. Rick is stunned. I’m to busy inhaling and exhaling air as fast as I could go to cool my mouth down. The cook came over and asked, so boys are they hot enough. I wipe the tears from my eyes and say. I’ve “cough” ”cough” had Hotter.
I have more sauce he replies. I made a batch just for you, with Chile peppers, Jamaican peppers, some habaneras, and Tabasco sauce.
Fuck.
No it’s fine I say you got it perfect and took a bite from a wing, we were not going to show any discomfort and give him any satisfaction.
10 minutes after the cook left I wave down Cindy and I ask for a jug of cold water. She brought it over and asked. So how many have you eaten. I look up and say, 1 each so far.
It’s been an hour and we each had one.
The wings tonight at the local pub were hot enough and I have no complaints.

P.S. We ate all 40 wings that day took us awhile but we did it and the next day at the toilet it was like……… ahhh you don’t need to know.





Walker