O Brother, I Know Where You Art ©

The biggest pain in the ass of my life outside of an occasional hemorrhoid problem is my brother, and there is no cream for it. From the day he was born, he was a pest and if you all out there think this is a case of sibling rivalry, thinks again. I could sit here and type until my fingers fell off and I still wouldn’t have told you entirely what he has done to me, or the people around me.
I lost my drivers license because he was using it.
He borrowed my computer and sold it 3 hours later.
He borrowed my car and smashed it.
I used to frisk him at the door and pull cds from inside his pants.
He got into trouble and called my friends for help one time, they had averted any trouble but when I walked through the door of the restaurant he sees me and slugs the guy he had words with .Fuck the boy can’t count. There were 5 of us and 8 of them.
Is it over?
Nope.
Now remember I was home watching TV when I get a call saying your brother is in trouble and some of the boys headed over to help.
Fuck I said to myself they should have let him take the beating. May have put some brains in the garbage can on his shoulders.
Well that was it a fight broke out.
The cops showed up and guess who’s in jail.
Now I have to call home to my mother and tell her.
You see my brother used his one phone call to call his girlfriend at the time. The one who this fight was all about.
My brother thought these guys were hitting on her. Big deal. Her boss was screwing her and my brother was the only one that didn't know about it.
The call went something like this:
Hi Ma. It’s me.
It is 2 am, what did you do now?
Why would you think I did something?
It’s 2 am she says that’s why.
Hmmm. Well I’m in jail?
I thought so, I’ll tell you father to get you some bail money.
(You got to love mothers).
Oh Wait.
What?
In a low voice say, the kid is here.
Who?
You know my brother, and oh brother did I hear it.
What did you get him into? He’s never been in trouble, he’s just a baby. (20 year old baby) “sigh” Ok I’ll tell your father. He’ll be there tomorrow. Bye.
Wait, I say.
What else now?
You are going to have to call Aunt Joan, Mike is here too.
“sigh” Ok. Can I say bye now.
That was 20 years ago.
And BTW I got 14 days in jail for that because I made a deal to drop the charges on my brother, mind you that was 14 days of peace I got.
Now this post is not about that it’s about last week.
I’m a computer Tech. I repair computers but I repair boards and panels as well.
My brother is in computers also. He seems to go where I go if he sees I’m making money at it. Only problem is I went to school he wings it.
He is a good con artist though.
He got himself a contract repairing, these large mobile billboards that have millions of LEDs. The only problem is he has no idea what to do, so guess who he calls?
He offers me $200 to do it for him. 2 hours work he says.
We go to where the billboards are stored, and I look them over. They consisted of 60 panels each, which could be removed and worked on easily. I say what the heck. It was extra money for my trip. I went through the board and took out the panels that needed repairing. The one billboard was on the highway so we stopped there to get those panels also. We went to the shop and he says he has something to do, so when I finish fixing take them back to the board and put them on, and test the billboards. I say ok. As he is going out the door he tells me the guy paid him $3600 for the job.
WHAT?!!!!!!!
Yeah, this guy was paying this company in New Jersey $1000 to repair each panel and my brother said he can do them all for $3600.
He is giving me $200 to do the whole job by myself. How stupid am I , don’t answer that I just did.
Now, I’m trying not to explode. And he is on his way to the pub to meet this guy for a beer, they both being big Toronto Maple Leaf fans and I got to stay here and finish his work.
Well what can I do I said I would do it and I have never backed out on my word. I went and replaced the panels at the warehouse and then went out to the highway and installed the panels on that one also.
I went over to the bar and gave him the van. He asked did you test the signs, I said yes I did. Did you test the one on the highway? I said yes it works great. I got up and went home.
That night on a stretch of highway, as drivers were coming into the city they were being guided by a beacon, a bright light flashing the words.


GO SENS GO




P.S. Did I mention he’s 40 and still sucks his thumb.




Walker