blue moon (2)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Come Back Little Sheba Walker ©

Come back, I haven’t left Gab, I’m still here.
I’m not as motivated as I used to be I guess.
Maybe I’ve lost my Mojo.
Hmmm, so this is how Curly must have felt without Mo and Jo.
Just a lone stooge without his MoJo.
Yes there is Larry but he’s just a balding clown.

What have I been up too?
Well, alot actually but mostly taking care of my parents………..let me rephrase that.
I'm busy being tortured by my parents.
Don’t get me wrong I love my parents to death which doesn't really say mush as they are still alive.

My father is loosing his license in 32 days.
He got into an accident with a bicycle and this pretty much spelled the end of his driving.
It’s funny how the system works though.
You are not fit to drive but they let you keep your license for 60 more days
It’s like a farewell tour for your drivers license where you can kill a couple of pedestrians and not worry about loosing points on your license with the added bonus that your insurance company, who has been sucking the money out of your for 50 years has to pay for it.
Just crank up Radar Love on the squawk box and tear up the Walmart parking lot as you zigzag around the shopping carts hitting shopper after shopper pushing them.

Last week my father went shopping with my mother's brother who is 87.
He lost "his" license 3 years ago when he stopped at a red light and fell asleep.
He did have his seat belt on though.

So my father and uncle are at the mall shopping then proceed to head out to the car but have a little trouble finding it when out of the corner of his eye my father spots it not to far away.
They head to it and my father gets in first and opens the door for my uncle.
As my uncle goes to put his stuff in the back with the other things they had earlier picked up he finds that all his things are gone.
My father looks back and yup, their stuff was stolen.
Looking around the car my father noticed some of his personal stuff was missing as well and to add insult to injury the thieves had stuffed a box of tampons in the middle console.

Sitting back in the car seat my father looked around the car some more and it dawned on him that this, wasn't his car.
My uncle said you never seen two old men move so fast.
They were scared they were going to be arrest for grand theft auto.
Not far off my father found his car with my uncle’s belongings still in the back.

My 85 year old mother sprained her hip so now she is having to use a cane.
She uses it to walk but mostly she uses it to knock things down she can’t reach up high in the cupboard.
According to her if she had known this little tit bit before she would have sprained her ass years ago.

I got two kittens a while back.
Salem and Vagina.
Inia made me change Vagina’s name because she didn't want to have to explain to her eight year old's teachers how he got his arms scratched up while playing with vagina over the weekend.
So now we call her Elvira.

This is just a bit of what I have been up too.
I know I don’t post here as much as I used to and I will try too but I am still around and always will even if i didn't have any readers.
Sitting here procrastinating until I do write something.

Have a nice day



Devilish Angel said...

This post is too personal like writing a mail to a friend...Motivation comes when u meet people who r energetic...Change of place or new friends also gives some josh to life...Take care!!!

GAB said...

Well Im very glad your still here and leading an interesting life. Your mom sounds like me Now I didnt have to break my hip to get a cane (car accident helped with that!) But I too find myself doing the same thing I use the cane to knock shit I mean stuff off the high shelves in the kitchen Ive also done it at the store if Ive now one with me to help me shop but then I gotta figure out a way to pick it up off the floor and thats not an easy task! I would like to see pictures of your new kittens though next new post maybe? Oh and nice comments from anonymous up there lol

GAB said...

BTW did you ever see my post of the White walker?

Memphis Steve said...

A cat named Vagina? I like that idea! Hilarious!

Dotm said...

Like you, I took a rest from posting. Glad to know your Mom and dad are ok. They are a few years older than I am and I wish them the best.