blue moon (2)

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Blindfolded ©

Holy bumper cars Batman.
Is there a bulls eye on the death star that has a sign under it saying “Hit the middle for a prize” under it?

They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you bite the bullet and last night, there was a marathon of my life playing for 20 solid fucken mind bending minutes before my eyes.

There is very little in this world that scares me and what does, I have learned to deal with when the time comes up but yesterday I got caught off guard and found myself in deep deep shit with nothing to do but to keep going further into Purgatory so I could find my way out on the other side of the shit hole I crawled into

It all started with the weather.
When I got up that day it wasn’t to bad so I decided to go out on some errands around 2 pm.
I had to go out about 25 miles and back, I figured I would be back before evening.
My eyes suck in the night and my car’s lights suck worse than my eyes.
The lenses are so old they don’t light up the night as they used to so normally I stay within the city where it’s well lit.

First I headed short west to my bank to take care of some banking before I headed out of town and as soon as I got in the car some idiot rammed me in the back sending me through the intersection and into oncoming traffic.
Quickly I turned right and gave the car a little gas to move me out of the path of a car as he himself was braking and trying to go around me without hitting the car coming down the opposite side.
All this shit happened in two seconds but seemed like a long fucken time.

I got out of the car, walking around and looked at the ass end of my 1994 Monte Carlo and saw nothing to worry me.
The driver of the other car came around the corner and got out saying “I’m sorry, really sorry”.
I looked at his car’s front end and I said “Not yet you’re not”.
His front was all smashed in where his bumper slid under mine.
I told him I had nothing to complain about and drove off leaving him to deal with his headache.
Little did I know this was only the beginning of a series of events that would bring me close to my end.

It had started snowing more now as I made my way to the highway.
It was about 3 pm and as I went up the ramp I fell into rush hour traffic; what made it worse were the three ploughs driving abreast of each other with their annoying blue lights going around and around poking you in the brain.
As I crawled along constantly looking at the clock I knew then I should have gotten off but I thought (Which is how I usually get into trouble) that I could make it there and back.

4pm and I am only 3 miles from where i was an hour earlier.
One last time to get off and try tomorrow.
No, I can still do it.

5pm, it started snowing and is now getting darker.
I am to far out to go back and the next exit is close to where I needed to go.
The first of two stops.

I look at the address I had been given then at my map book.
As I sat there reading the map I knew I was screwed.
This guy lived in one of those developments built twenty years ago when they made them like fucken spiderweb mazes.
I had to find and navigate a bunch of fucken crescents, cul de sacs and all sorts of streets designed to make you go crazy.
AND WHAT’S WORSE!!!!!!!!!!
They have these teenie tinnie damn street signs painted green.
What the fuck is that?
It’s dark, how the fuck am I supposed to read a sign ten feet high painted green against the night sky.
Oh yeah, they have florescent writing.
I’m going fifty in a snow storm and I am supposed to be able to read what’s basically an invisible sign by contorting my neck up against the windshield while driving safe.

I got lost

6pm, I am supposed to be on my home and I haven’t gotten to my first stop.
I call the guy and he blindly led me to his front door over the phone.

After getting what I went there for I hopped in the car and headed out of there while it was still fresh in my head.
On the main street of this town I pulled over and looked up the second street.
Another maze and now it was pitch black out.

I pulled into a gas station to fuel up and to get my bearing before I headed out and after filling the tank I pulled to the exit of the station when suddenly I was jerked out into the street.
Again, twice in one fucken day I find myself in the middle of a busy intersection struggling to get out of the way of a big fucken truck.
What the hell is wrong with people.
It’s snowing, learn to fucken drive in the damn winter

I get to the side of the road and out of the car.
I look at my ass end again and there is nothing wrong.
The idiots car was OK to.
He hit bumper to bumper.
I wanted to hit him as he continually apologized.
Fucken people.
Fucken tailgater.

I about had, had it at that point.
I called the second guy and got specific directions from him and drove off into the abyss once more and got lost again.
Not as bad as the first time but just the same I missed it by a street.
Back tracking I find the place and at 8pm I was done and screwed.

It was dark and snowing.
I was 25 miles from home and I knew I should have turned back six hours earlier.
The choices were to take the highway which was the direct way home and the shortest or the long way through the well lit roads.
Almost twice as long.
I was tired.
My eyes hurt and I wanted to go home.

Choices, what do I choose.?

The car swung up onto the highway.
The whole day was a day of bad choices and I have had those days before.
I had to go do these errands and now I was driving blind down the highway.
I couldn’t see ten feet infront of the windshield.
The flying snow made it impossible to see and there was a line of cars with their lights in my face making it even harder.

There was no way I could pull over because I couldn’t see where the other side was and didn’t want to end up in a ditch in the middle of no where.
I might as well have been blind like Ray Charles driving the road.
To make matters worse it was ten miles to the next exit.

No lights
No exit

It took me twenty minutes to see an exit where I opted to get off and rest my eyes from the constant intense looking I had been doing to avoid crashing into something or someone.
It took me another forty minutes to get back home and was I happy to be there.

I have been in some tough situations and this was one of the worse.
One i never want to go through again
It’s time for a new car, new glasses and a GPS

Have a nice scotch day



Anonymous said...

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but you've always hit me as the type of person that once they commit to something, there's no turning back. So, really, there was no way your day was gonna turn out any differently once you made that first decision. Glad you made it home safe, if not sound, though.

On another note, just want to wish you an early Happy Anniversary (was looking through some old emails and discovered our first exchange 6 years ago on March 8th...quite an exchange too, if you'll recall...haha)

Walker said...

Are you saying I am stubborn?
Six years already.
Time flies when you sleep a-lot LOL!!!!

Over the years you have enriched my life.
Made me crazy a couple of times.
I didn't say that did I?
HA HA HA!!!!
What are friends for if not to torment or encourage where applicable.

CHEERS to many more.

gab said...

I wonder what was so important that you took your life in you hands? Driving in blinding snow oh yeah I forgot it wasnt snowing when you started...but I guess thats where checking the weather report to see whats happening before leaving. Awww crap Im yelling at you like the mom I am.....and you dont need another one....SO WITH THAT SAID .......I AM SO GLAD YOUR OK YOUR SANITY MIGHT NOT BE BUT YOUR OK

Walker said...

Gab: I was sure i could make it back and if it hadn't been for the ploughs i would have too.
I was picking up a couple of gifts that i had to get before someone else did.
I would have chanced another day if i knew what i found out later but, i am who i am i guess and have to go out there and have a fucken adventure

Anonymous said...

I wasn't saying you're stubborn, but now that you mention it, ummmm, yeah you are, but in a good way. Well, except for when you're putting yourself in harm's way, which, from your reports, is probably about 80% of the time.

As for making you crazy, I'm not sure you needed any help with that, but I'm glad to be of assistance either way :)

BlazngScarlet said...

Oh yeah, you're stubborn.
Donkey! lol
How does Inia do it?
Scotch?! ;D

In all seriousness, so happy you made it back.
Happy Hearts day!

Sally said...

Whoa! I see you haven't changed much, my old friend! Have been reading for a while, and I'm sorry for all that food poisoning, and flu. I hope you're not still eating D2's food she brings home.

It's good to see you, though, and I'll be back sometime. A lot of changes since the "beginning" of blogging; I've been at almost nine years now. I have another great-granddaughter, and this month's birthday, I turned SEVENTY!!! I know, but I'm still not old dammit. :)

Take care, Walker.