Bo Bo Boo Boob ©

“Walker I am telling you, women are sluts today”.
“Uh huh”.

Pulls up shirt to her chin.
“What do you think of the new bra the last guy I dumped bought me”.
“He paid fifty bucks for it”.

I never have to go to a strip club

“I see, literally, I see”.
“It’s a nice one for sure, does it have rebar built into it”?

The Ex stopped in to see D2 but didn’t know on Fridays D2 goes to work after school so she decided to visit me instead for three hours.
My Ex, for lack of a better word is a bit of an airhead.
Not stupid, just not to swift in the thinking department.
Her morals are dyslexic at the best of times, totally fucked most of the time.
.
D2 came running down the other day.
“OMG, mom dumped what’s his name and said she met this great guy who is dieing of colon cancer so if I want to see her she will be at this address...”.

“I was going on a date tonight but he called and said he had to put it off until tomorrow because something came up”.
“Is this the colon cancer guy”.
“No, I ended that yesterday”.
“Killed him already eh”?

“No, he lied to me”?
“Oh, big surprise, you meet these guys on dating sites, they are not all going to tell you the truth”.
“So what, he didn’t have colon cancer”?
“No, it wasn’t that, he still had a girlfriend”.
“Ah I see, but he is still dieing”?
“Oh yeah, he’s a goner”.

“You know, ummm , it’s not really any of my business but you complain about women being sluts and all but ummmm you have been with four different guys in the last, I don’t know, say about ten months”.
“Not that I see anything wrong with it but I am just pointing something out to you”.

“OH I don’t sleep with them”.
“ I see”.
“You just lay there naked and do nothing”?
“Yup, like the last guy”
“He worked in the fields all day and stunk”.
“I told him no sex unless he got clean”.
“So why didn’t he take a shower and fuck you”.
“He didn’t have one in the country”.
“I see, and how long were you up there with umm stinky before he got to a shower".
"3 months".
" I see".
"So I guess you dumped him as soon as he found a shower"
"Yup".
" I figured".

3 months in the heat of summer living in a trailer with no shower, stink is not the word.

“He was, nice to me, he bought me this nice bra”, then reached for her shirt again”.
“Yeah, yeah I saw it already, blue one, got it”.
“I love it”.
“In the summer on the farm I would ride the lawnmower with just my bra on and shorts”.
“No underwear, I shave my pussy now except for a little I leave on the top like a crown”.

I wanted to burst out laughing but then something popped into my head…….

“DON’T SHOW IT TO ME”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“It’s better than that afro I had between my legs”.
“You mean Michael Jackson’s head”.
“Yeah”.

Explains why I used to get a hardon every time I saw a Michael Jackson video.
He looked a lot like a pussy.


I looked at the clock on the wall and she had been there for three hours and decided she had to go and told her I had eight cakes to bake which was true.
I am making cherry bombs for Christmas but that’s another story.
She got up and asked me to tell D2 she was by and loved her as I closed the door behind her then went back to the couch where I had a nice laugh.
I asked myself why I went out with her but then again she isn’t the same person I knew from back them.

At around 8:30 pm D2 came home from work and I told her mother had been by.

“Yeah, she showed me her new bra”.
“Blue one”?
“Yup that’s the one”.
“OMG, Mom, D1 and I were at the mall and right there in the middle of a crowd she lifts up her shirt over her head to show us her new bra”.
“She wasn’t even embarrassed”.
“D1 and I took off in different directions”.
" I see, did she show you her crown".
"No, what's that"?
"I'll tell you about it later".

Yup, that’s my Ex.

Have I mentioned I don’t go out to avoid this kind of shit?
Yeah, how’s that working out for you Walker?

Have a nice day

Walker

Happy Thanksgiving ©

I want to wish all my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving Day.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Buckle Up ©

You know when you walk into a room and it goes silent they were either talking about you or your zipper is down and seeing as I was wearing joggies I don’t think it was my zipper.
In fact I know they were talking about me because I was listening to it before I walked into my parent’s kitchen through the back door.

My mother was reciting something that happened a month ago when we had gone grocery shopping together.
Something always happens when we go out together.
I don’t know what it is.
Maybe it always happens but I never notice it because I am going to fast and only see it when I slow down to shop with my mother.
I don’t know?
Maybe

My mother is standing in the middle of the kitchen, her 85 year old brother by the table and my father in his recliner and she is telling them the story.
“We were standing in line at the cashier, he shoved me ahead to be out of his way”
“He’s always shoving me aside”.
“So he’s standing in line behind this woman who just finished paying for her things when Walker takes something out of the shopping cart to put on the moving carpet”.
“As he put it down his belt buckle popped off of his fat belly and whacks the lady in front of him in the ass as she was bending over to pick up her bags”.

I can hear all three of them laughing a diaper full.

“NOOOOOO no that’s not all, his pants fell down and the lady who was standing behind him grabbed them and was holding them up from behind”.

I could hear my father choking on his dentures.

“Then the cashier looked at him and asked if he needed any bags, they were five cents each”.

I wish I were wearing my joggies that day.
Weirdest thing, the back of the buckle snapped and the heavy brass buckle flew off smacking the woman in front of me.
The only thing keeping them from completely falling to the floor was the lady behind me holding them up from the back and the cashier’s cleavage holding them up from the front.
I am going to need a new belt buckle before I go Christmas shopping.

Have a nice day

Walker

Knock Knock Knock, Anyone Home ©

It’s been a while since I have posted anything.
I wonder if anyone still bothers to drop by?
Where have you been Walker?
Nowhere really, mostly locked up at home working on the house or laying on the couch battling the demons in my head.
The demons are manifestations of other people’s problems and mine jumbled up in a small salad bowl.
It’s so full that when you stab a something to tackle something use you are not ready to deal with falls off the other side of the bowl and over filling your plate.
And, I know it’s not only me, many of you have suddenly found yourselves going the doggie in shit you’re not used to dealing with.

The economy, money is the main culprit.
The people who have been controlling the purse strings, the same people who speculated in the future by racing ahead of the bottom line to be there first are the reason we are where we are.
I am not saying progress is bad but if we can’t afford it right now why should we get it?
Our economy is getting worse and it’s tricking all the way down to us, the ones who in the end suffer for it.

Somewhere somehow we have to find an equality for all our good.
Europe is sinking with the big fat Euro sagging with Greece and Italy sucking it dry.
We are here fighting bill collectors and banks while in countries like Greece, they don’t have income tax, property tax or a multitude of fees that we are extorted into paying or we loose these services and these people are complaining.
They get 1000 euro gift for Christmas.
What do we get?
I credit card bill or stale fruitcake from the person you gave it to last year.
They get another cash gift for Easter.
I’m lucky to have money left to buy a Cadbury egg after paying my property tax.

I walk through the malls searching for Christmas gifts and as I do I also check to see where the items are made.
Almost everything is made in China which is fine in our capitalistic society but I am curious to know if I went to China and walked through The gang Of Four shopping mall would I find rows upon rows of products, made in Canada?
If not, why not?

Unemployment is up, something has to happen.
If we are going to have trade with other countries then our exports and imports should be equal.
I mean, we will buy 40 billion dollars of good from China but they should at least buy 40 billion dollars worth of beaver tail from us.
That’s fair.
It keeps both of our economies churning along together but no, we instead allow Canadian companies do wither away against the tide from the East and fill the void by allowing more to come in than goes out.
All this has been doing is creating potholes in our economy and its reached the point where now we are falling in these holes and being buried way over our heads.

It’s frustrating to try and maneuver through life as everyone else tries to do the same thing.
I don’t blame the prices of the people selling the items I blame those who have allowed our economy to be invaded without a fight.
Remember free trade in North America?
Mexico United States and Canada against the world.
What idiot thought that up?
The second we all signed on the companies closed down their operations and went to make their shit in other countries with miniscule wage costs by using child labor.
How do we compete with that?
We can’t but we take in their products for our shelves.

For the last month I have been working on my and my mother’s kitchen cupboards.
I had someone give me a quote last year and the4y came back with $15,000 and that wasn’t a fancy kitchen.
$15,000?
That’s a lot of coin to me especially in this.
I know people have to make money to pay employees but that’s a lot of money for fake wood.
The granite top was nice and I wouldn’t have taken it but it was only 3000 so the fake wood was 12,000.

My father went to buy some recycled cabinets.
We are into green methods.
They wanted 1500 for the used ones and 1000 to install them and that’s without the countertop.
So we opted, did I say we, they opted to make me do all the work.
So off I went to home depot.
While I was there I walked around looking and listening to what others were buying and it was evident there were a lot of people like me out there doing the work on our own.
After a couple of hours I came back with 200 dollars in wood and other supplies.
I have a ton of tools so it was time to see how well I remembered using them.
After a week of sawing, sanding and nailing my mother’s cupboards were finished and the top section of mine were done.
All I built with wood, not melamine or what every they use today.
Not only are they nicer to look at but they are lighter.
200 bucks is what it all cost.
Not 15000 or 15000.

Could a carpenter done a better job?
Damn right he could have but I can’t afford one and there was no way I was going to get a mortgage to do it.
Should we pay a carpenter 75 an hour or a car mechanic, plumber or electrician for that matter?
I’d pay 30 but for 75 I will try and figure it out on my own and be happy with what I end up.

I don’t want someone services for free and they do deserve to get paid well but what is well and what is gouging?
Most of the people I know make between 14000 and 24000.
The economy is so lopsided its not going to get any better unless we find a balance.
The lack of work for these professionals makes them jack up their prices out of our range or work under the table robbing the government coffers of needed taxes.

What’s the cure for the economy?
I think it’s responsible government, something we all lack.
To many politicians have to many outside interests and fix things for themselves.
Why else would someone give up a five hundred thousand dollar a year job for a hundred thousand instead?

If the scales were balanced, the economy would be better.
People would have jobs and I would be here bitching about the new 6000 dollar furnace they just installed next door.
OK
There are some things even I wouldn’t try to install.

That’s one demon down I guess, now to go poke at that salad and see what falls out this time.
I hope all of you out there are doing well and still swimming above the waves.

Have a nice day

Walker