blue moon (2)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Bo Bo Boo Boob ©

“Walker I am telling you, women are sluts today”.
“Uh huh”.

Pulls up shirt to her chin.
“What do you think of the new bra the last guy I dumped bought me”.
“He paid fifty bucks for it”.

I never have to go to a strip club

“I see, literally, I see”.
“It’s a nice one for sure, does it have rebar built into it”?

The Ex stopped in to see D2 but didn’t know on Fridays D2 goes to work after school so she decided to visit me instead for three hours.
My Ex, for lack of a better word is a bit of an airhead.
Not stupid, just not to swift in the thinking department.
Her morals are dyslexic at the best of times, totally fucked most of the time.
D2 came running down the other day.
OMG, mom dumped what’s his name and said she met this great guy who is dieing of colon cancer so if I want to see her she will be at this address...”.

“I was going on a date tonight but he called and said he had to put it off until tomorrow because something came up”.
“Is this the colon cancer guy”.
“No, I ended that yesterday”.
“Killed him already eh”?

“No, he lied to me”?
“Oh, big surprise, you meet these guys on dating sites, they are not all going to tell you the truth”.
“So what, he didn’t have colon cancer”?
“No, it wasn’t that, he still had a girlfriend”.
“Ah I see, but he is still dieing”?
“Oh yeah, he’s a goner”.

“You know, ummm , it’s not really any of my business but you complain about women being sluts and all but ummmm you have been with four different guys in the last, I don’t know, say about ten months”.
“Not that I see anything wrong with it but I am just pointing something out to you”.

“OH I don’t sleep with them”.
“ I see”.
“You just lay there naked and do nothing”?
“Yup, like the last guy”
“He worked in the fields all day and stunk”.
“I told him no sex unless he got clean”.
“So why didn’t he take a shower and fuck you”.
“He didn’t have one in the country”.
“I see, and how long were you up there with umm stinky before he got to a shower".
"3 months".
" I see".
"So I guess you dumped him as soon as he found a shower"
" I figured".

3 months in the heat of summer living in a trailer with no shower, stink is not the word.

“He was, nice to me, he bought me this nice bra”, then reached for her shirt again”.
“Yeah, yeah I saw it already, blue one, got it”.
“I love it”.
“In the summer on the farm I would ride the lawnmower with just my bra on and shorts”.
“No underwear, I shave my pussy now except for a little I leave on the top like a crown”.

I wanted to burst out laughing but then something popped into my head…….

“DON’T SHOW IT TO ME”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“It’s better than that afro I had between my legs”.
“You mean Michael Jackson’s head”.

Explains why I used to get a hardon every time I saw a Michael Jackson video.
He looked a lot like a pussy.

I looked at the clock on the wall and she had been there for three hours and decided she had to go and told her I had eight cakes to bake which was true.
I am making cherry bombs for Christmas but that’s another story.
She got up and asked me to tell D2 she was by and loved her as I closed the door behind her then went back to the couch where I had a nice laugh.
I asked myself why I went out with her but then again she isn’t the same person I knew from back them.

At around 8:30 pm D2 came home from work and I told her mother had been by.

“Yeah, she showed me her new bra”.
“Blue one”?
“Yup that’s the one”.
OMG, Mom, D1 and I were at the mall and right there in the middle of a crowd she lifts up her shirt over her head to show us her new bra”.
“She wasn’t even embarrassed”.
“D1 and I took off in different directions”.
" I see, did she show you her crown".
"No, what's that"?
"I'll tell you about it later".

Yup, that’s my Ex.

Have I mentioned I don’t go out to avoid this kind of shit?
Yeah, how’s that working out for you Walker?

Have a nice day



Peter said...

I wanna be around when you explain the "crown".

Walker said...

Peter: You just want to see if there's pictures HA HA HA!!!!

itisi said...

You can't help it that all the women want to show you their boobies!! :)

Walker said...

itisi : yes but its not the boobies i wan to see