blue moon (2)

Monday, November 08, 2010

Not Old Enough For Reruns ©

Like Peter Frampton asked, do you feel like I do?
Fuck I hope not.
My back is killing me and my knee is shakier than the economy.
The porch is coming along.
I figure by next week it should be done.
Well, almost.
I will have to paint the upstairs balcony in the spring.
It’s just to cold for paint to dry right in this weather.

It’s nice having a balcony off of your bedroom.
In the summer I can sit out there sucking on Inia’s ass, my three-chamber ice bong, then try to see the stars through the smoke.
If it’s good shit I may even get lucky and Scotty will beam me up for a spin around the galaxy.

It has other advantages to, like if someone is banging on your door real early in the morning waking you up, you can stumble to the balcony and wait for them to leave so you can piss on there heads as they stand underneath.
Not that I would do anything like that, looks away while tucking it back in.

My house looks like shit.
It seems all I do around here is clean.
I used to watch a lot of TV but there’s crap on the fucken thing now a days unless you subscribe to the high end channels but even they suck.
They suck worse than the porn channels I used to get.

That’s a joke.
Porn channels.
I remember the old porn movies.
They had some story in them and the chicks had real tits.
Back then a chick with a set of DDs would take her bra off and you would have to either step back or get ready to catch her when she fell forward.
Now, with these implants…….the chick with the triple Js whips her bra off and you have to dive for her legs so she won’t float away.
What do they do, fill them with helium to keep them up that high.

Almost everyone today is getting FIXED.
Why I asked a friend.
He said it would make it easier to pick up young chicks if he is younger looking.
Huh?
He couldn’t pick up a hooker with a hundred bucks in his hand when he was younger and he thinks five grand on his face will help.

A female friend of mine ran up to me and said, “Well”?
“Well what”?
She wiggled her torso at me.
“Well”?
“Well what”?

She got all mad and fired up.
“My boobs, what do you think”?

“What about them, they’re there”?
“I got implants”?
“Really, where”?
“What do you mean where, here, on my fucken chest”.
.
I step back and take a hard look.
“Really…..”?
“You sure they didn’t take some off”?
“Fuck you”

“They look the same to me, what were they nonexistent before and are now……bumps”?
“I had an A cup before and now they are Bs”.

“You got yourself carved up for Bs”?
“Are you nuts, you could have had Bs with a padded bra or a thick sweater”.

The TV is full of this shit to and I don’t mean shows about getting fixed up.
I mean there are I have watched a couple.
Usually on the discovery channel in the middle of the night when I wake up with the TV still on and there is some doctor carving up some guy’s cock.
.I’m not kidding you.

I wake up and there is this guy on the operating table and a doctor is slicing the muscles tendons and what ever the fuck is holding this guy’s cock and balls together down there because the guy wants a bigger cock.
The doctor who does this shit told him it will be an inch longer.

I’m watching this shit and my dick is hiding up my ass shaking in fear.
A fucken inch.
He is doing this for a fucken inch.
And he can’t have sex for 6-to a year after.
And AND the operation cost twenty five grand
Hello!!!!!!!!! Knock knock knock
Is anyone up there?
Sure as hell you chopped off the one down there.

They put this crap on TV.
What’s the matter, can’t think up something new?
Obviously not.
It’s true.
They have restarted the Superman movies what, four times and now are talking about rebooting the Spiderman series of movies with a new Spiderman.
Remakes of remakes of remakes of movies I saw when they were originals.
Nightmare on Elms street, Halloween.
Give me a fucken break.
Isn’t there supposed to be a rule about not making remakes until the generation the original came out in dies off?

They did the HULK over within five fucken years.
DUH

What, have they lost all their creative juices?
Must be all the health food they eat and plastic surgery they get in Hollywood stifling the imagination.

Even TV shows.
Hawaii 5-O is back on.
It was a good show back when but they cancelled it.
It’s dead.
Leave it there.
This is like a zombie thing.
Return of the living cancelled.
They even have a new series about zombies now.

This is like post return of the living dead and the undead are trying to stay that way while the living dead roam around the streets of big cities looking for brains to eat.
As unique and new as this is for TV, it’s stupid but I did watch it because I can’t watch any more DYI shows.
I have enough work to do without being reminded how much more there is and how much nicer everyone else’s house looks.

This is why I rather read than watch TV lately.
Less work, less thinking, more entertaining and with that I am off to the washroom/reading room to read another chapter or two of the book I am currently into.

Oh, I will be Running The Red Clay posts back to back from the twelfth on until all twenty-one parts are done.
It will bring closure to those who have read the first eighteen and maybe something new for the others.
Me, I will be finishing the things around here and getting ready for Inia and the kids to come home.

Have a nice day

Walker

post #997

10 comments:

Liane said...

my dear Walker.. i have forgotten how much your blogs make me laugh, not just smile :-) You truly never fail at that. And I have to say, it made me realize how much i missed reading what you so cleverly whip up for your readers ;-) So what book are you currently in to? hugs and stuff.. Liane :-)

poet said...

three more for a grand, my friend. have a wonderful day~

Skye said...

Hmmmmmm...wondering if I gave you a good excuse not to write any new posts for 21 days, like a blog vacation. I bet you wish you had thought of it before :)

Looking forward to re-reading the parts you previously posted, even if they are re-runs. And it'll be nice to finally know what happened to all of the people in your story and if they were able to overcome what they had to endure.

Walker said...

Liane: Nice to see you back.
A friend gave me the a set of books called The Dresden Files.
Witches and demons and vampires.
I like that kind of stuff once in a while.
I have read a few of the Terry Prachett series as well.
Discworld books.

Walker said...

poet: Yes three more for 1000.
I just broke 500 on Last Soul the other day.
I don't know if that means i been blogging a long time, getting old fast or just talk to much LOL

Walker said...

Skye: They are reruns and they are not.
I am redoing them all one by one before i post them.
I have four already done and scheduled and am working on the fifth as I write this.
Hopefully by the weekend theyh will all be done and ready and yes it will giv me a break to do some stuff but not much of a blogging break as I still post on Last Soul and read blogs.

Liane said...

I have heard of the Dresden files, but never read them... you should come and see my new blog-site ;-) http://olecobblestone.blogspot.com

big hugs ;-) Liane

Walker said...

Liane: I'm coming :)

Peter said...

Carved up for "Bs" or an "inch" sounds pretty stupid.

Walker said...

Peter: It is.
We are born who we are and changing the other appearance wont change who you really are.
It just creates a facade to fool yourself with