Knocking On Wood ©

So we are outside working today on the porch and I look towards the sidewalk and this four by eight foot sheet of lattice starts moving down the street on its own.
I’m thinking I got to stop smoking because I am seeing things.

Then my father starts yelling and running down the sidewalk after the sheet of lattice.
WTF is going on?
I walk down to the sidewalk and on the other side of the lattice and there is this four foot tall Chinese lady that couldn’t have weighed more that fifty pound soaking wet trying to walk away with the sheet of lumber.

She looked at me as I walked up and said,” This no garbage”?
“Umm, NO”!!!
What the fuck is she thinking.
People got to the lumber yard to buy expensive wood so that they can throw it out.
No it’s not fucken garbage.
Gess

It’s like that time my parents bought carpet for the whole house.
They brought the whole freaking roll of carpet and the installer left it outside because it didn’t fit through the front door and it would be easier to cut outside.
I pull up to the house and there are two big burley guys trying to load the whole fucken roll in the back of their pickup to drive off with it.
I go outside and asked them what they were doing and the bigger one said that it was in the garbage and were taking it.

I told then I didn’t think so and it wasn’t garbage.
They tried to tell me it was on the street therefore far game.
Yeah right, I got a rifle in the house and you look like a dumb fucken deer to me just stand right there in front of my headlights so I can lay you out on that fucken carpet.
As we were arguing the installers came out and all hell broke loose.
They finally took off without the carpet when they heard we called the cops.

I get you this goes on all the time.
Some people have some balls I tell you.
Little tiny Chinese lady trying to take off with something four times her size.

A couple of hours ago I went out when I say something moving in front of the house from the window.
There was this guy going through the pile of wood in front of the house.
I asked him what he was doing and he said he was looking for scrap wood to burn.
I looked at his pile and he had my stairs piled up as scrap.
Hellooooooooo
Can I put them on the house before you burn them up?
Get the fuck out of here you dumb fuck.

How hard is it to knock on my door and ask?
Is this garbage?
Well, if you have to walk in off of the street and onto my property I guess its now.
When the price tag is still on the two by four it’s not.
When there is an eighty-two year old man chasing you down the street he’s not looking for Chinese food, you are running away with his wood.

I can’t wait for this porch to be done.

Have a nice day

Walker

Post 998