blue moon (2)

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Melting ©

Melting, melting I tell you
I’m fucken melting.
The gates of hell have opened up and I’m melting.

Last month I was freezing and this month melting.
What the fuck is up with the weather?
People say just get A/C.
No, I don’t want A/C, I want to know why it’s so fucken hot.
What, I get an A/C and the problem will be solved?
I don’t think so.
What happens when the A/C is not enough, what then?
Bigger A/C?
Fuck that, I want to know why it’s so fucken hot and while they are at it, I want to know why it’s colder in the winters too.
Pretty soon there is only going to be two seasons, Cold and Hot.

Even though the heat is on Inia and I have been hitting the concerts during Blues Fest.
Tuesday we saw Iron Maiden.
I tell ya, some people don’t look in the mirror when they leave the house.
Like the 70-year-old lady in a string bikini and the rest of her body painted green.
Don’t get me wrong.
There were some people dressed for the band that look cool but some….Man
Some people need glasses.
Some people need to face reality.
I mean, you’re fifty and wearing Daisy Duke shorts with your bleach blond hair in pigtails isn’t going to make you twenty again, so standing by the metal fence with all the real twenty year old groupies isn’t going to get you any luckier.

You see a lot of weird shit at these concerts.
Well weird to me like a gay couple.
You say that’s not weird.
Ah I see.
Well what if I told you the gay couple was a gay man and a lesbian woman.

I mean, if you are going to be monogamous umm and opposite sexes doesn’t that make you heterosexual?
I could be wrong and I have been in the past so if anyone wants to correct me I won’t take offence but if you want to be gay and live as heterosexuals its fine but weird to me.

Wednesday we sat back to the Gypsy Kings smooth mellow tunes as the crowd swayed with them.
Half the time I couldn’t see anything because of one woman who liked turning around and pointing her tits at me as she checked her cell phone and when she wasn’t flashing me cleavage her friend would bend over to wiggle her ass 12 inches from my face.
Me and Inia just nodded our heads in disbelief then she went on to watch the stage while I stared at the ass in the red dress as it dangerously threatened my nose.
I was thinking, maybe if I shoved the Gatorade bottle up her NEW red dress (as she kept telling everyone she saw) and squeeze as hard as I can if she would get the idea to move but with my luck she might stick around for another splash (considering the heat), so I stuck my legs out instead to try and trip her on her gay friend who was scoffing down over priced festival food.
$7.50 for a plain burger.
A dollar extra for cheese and six more for fries.

The next night we started with the Moody Blues and as Nights in White Satin finished by gently taking us back into our seats the B 52’s charged out to bring us up on our toes once more.
We had a ball that night as our creaking, cracking and snapping bones jumped up and down along with the ageing performers on stage.

It’s funny watching all the young people bouncing up and down to what many of them think is brand new music.
I guess to them it is but not to us.
They wonder why so many old people are there but they don’t get it.
This is ours.
Our time and our history they are enjoying as we did before us when we listen to that generation’s music.

Last night we started by going to see Hole.
I most definitely am not a fan and by the time it was over I wished Courtney Love would shut her fucken hole and let the band play instead.
I don’t know what she sounds like on CD but in person, she sounded a lot like when you start your car in the winter and there is a cat sleeping on the engine…

Luckily we were rescued from rock hell by Joan Jett who came on the main stage with her Black Hearts and rose everyone’s spirits to the right volume and had the 30,000 people around us clapping and cheering every song she belted out from way back when she was with The Runaways to her most recent tunes.

Tomorrow we finish the first week of our concert series with RUSH and next week it’s Santana along with a lot of others like Steve Winwood, Weezer, Keith Urban, and lots, lots more.
Hell Kevin Bacon was on with his brother the other day and next week it’s Kevin Costner with his band.
I hope they dance better without wolves.

Did I mention there are more women to men at these concerts?
About ten to one and it’s been really hot.
Too hot to wear lots of clothes.
Yeah, I have a smirk on my face

HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!

I hope all of you out there are coping well in this heat and are having fun in the sun.

Have a nice weekend.



Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh wow, Walker, I'm sooo envious. All those bands to whisk me right back to my young years. I love Joan Jett, both her and Suzi Quattro...the original rock chicks.

Keith Urban is from my neck of the woods...I wonder if the elegant Nic Kidman will be with him.

Keep on enjoying your concerts, Walker. I wanna see Bon Jovi later in the year, but the tickets cost an arm and a leg...and that's the cheap ones!

Walker said...

I am enjoying myself and the festival is a great deal.
We got our tickets early for about $530 and over the next 10 days we get to watch our choice of 252 concerts from five different stages happening one after the other.
I have been coming to this for the last sixteen years and have had the pleasure of seeing in person som groups I couldn't afford to see individually.
The bonus is D2 has volunteered to help and gets to go in free for the whole festival for only a few hours work and kids under 10 go in free.
So its all been a family affair

craziequeen said...

It's SO hot here in the UK - yeah, I know, I never thought I would say that again!
Like you, we went from freezin' to broilin' without a stop in between! Someone flicked the thermostat, for sure!
My male friends are enjoying the weather due to the change in female attire - us women just get more men with their beer bellies hanging out! :-(

That Blues Fest sounds superb - mind you, a lot of those bands sound a little more rock than blues.....I mean, Iron Maiden? Joan Jett?


Dotm said...

Sounds like you are having a great time even with this awful heat wave. One day we actually broke the record for that day. I agree, where did this crazy weather come from and will every summer ahead just keep getting hotter? I pray not. Now winters are just as crazy, we had a little less snow and much colder weather last year, so what is in store for us this coming winter? I remember it being that cold when I was younger, but the bad snow storms were more often leaving us with very high snow banks all winter. Global warming to blame ???

Peter said...

No wonder its hot Walker... all those sweaty writhing bodies.
You sure get a good deal on the tickets!!!!!

Walker said...

craziequeen: I Know, I tried to figure that out but when they started bringing in acts like Santana I just shut up and enjoy the quality of music.
There are alot of Blues bands but not as many as i would like.

Walker said...

Dotm : I think it is global warming but i am sure the non believers woudl tell me different.
I pity the generation to come if this keeps up because at this rate in about 50 year the world will be a big dust bowl and we will just have to change the planets name to Dune or Doom which ever the big polluters choose

Walker said...

Peter: the heat has the women half naked and the guys so drunk they are laying on the ground giving me less obstruction to gawk at what the ladies aren't wearing HA HA HA

Just telling it like it is said...

I love Santana's shoes...I have about 3 pair and they are hot!

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: Cool, so you knocked the shoes off him and sent him on his way barefoot did you HA HA HA

~Green Eyes~ said...

Hell, you should just move here if you only want two seasons, now wait, three, cold, hot and hotter than hell.

Joanna Cake said...

At the wedding, they tried to deafen us with drum and bass but Joan Jett's I Love Rock N Roll was the only thing that got everyone out on the dancefloor :)

Boxer said...

We were melting last week, this week is better, but I never LOVE heat.

Walker said...

~Green Eyes~: Screw that, next move i make will be to Belize.
I don;t want to see snow other than on TV

Walker said...

Joanna Cake: She had us all up on the grass young and old sober and stoned moving to I love rock and roll

Walker said...

Boxer: We haven't had almost no relief with an average temp of 44c or 112f in the shade.
Its the humidity that's doing us in