Kids... ©

Kids say and do the darnest things.
You hear people say it and we have all experienced it.
You see stuff like, a two year old running up to his mother in a crowd of guests screaming, “Mom I need a new condom, I am came” then bursts out in tears.
All the women in the room nod with a dawning of realization.
“So that’s why….”

It’s traumatic at times.
Stunned Walker: Tell me why you stuffed the M&Ms in your pussy again?
Seven year old stepdaughter: I didn’t want my brother to find them.
Speechless Walker:…………………………………..
Seven year old stepdaughter: Now I can’t get them out and I’m, hungry
Alert Walker: What the fuck do you mean they won’t come out?
Seven year old stepdaughter: “They’re stuck” and she starts crying
Panicking Walker: What do you want me to do?!
Seven year old stepdaughter: Take them out
Walker: LIKE FUCK I WILL!!!!!

Three hours later her mother comes home.

EX: How was your day.
Relaxed Walker: good and yours?
EX: long and hard
Comforting Walker: Ah, let me rub your feet.
EX: Where’s “Seven year old stepdaughter”?
Informative Walker: In the bathroom
EX: What’s she doing there?
Forthcoming Walker: Soaking in hot water for the last three hours
EX: Why has she been soaking in hot water?
Knowledgeable Walker: Trying to melt the half pack of M&Ms she stuffed in her pussy
EX: what, WHAT, what, did she do…..when…..did they melt
Disappointed Walker: No, they're peanut.

The other day I am laying on the couch watching TV and D1 starts laughing.
Then she asks me what my name was, my real one so I tell her and she starts laughing again.
Seems that one of her friends forwarded a link to her called Urban dictionary.
You put your name in and it tells you what your name means or represents, some shit like that.

So she put mine in: “A female character in Soul Calibur who has jiggly boobs that move like sacks of pudding”.
Great……..I think I’ll head off upstairs and play with my boobs but before I do I bought another tea pot today.
I have bad luck with teapots and keep breaking them.
So I went out to Winners the other day and found one I liked.
Actually my mother did.
She showed it to me and I did like it was black and big enough for about six cups so I could sit on the couch and not have to run for more in the kitchen.
But there was on problem there was no lid.
Then my mother found another one that was the same but in white, with the lid but it was white.
As much as I needed the teapot I didn’t want it in white so we left.

We wandered around for an hour while my mother looked for a purse then finding none she like we made our way back to the door but the whole time I was thinking of the teapot.
I told my mother to wait for me at the door and I would be right back and went back for the teapot.
Fifteen minutes later I walked out with it and gave it to my mother to hold.
She looked in the bag to see which one I got and saw it was the black teapot with the white lid.

Lets go girls…….fucken phone
Every time…..fuck fuck fuck

Hello, what?
Where are you?
What the fuck do you mean there is gunfire?
Where are you now?

It’s D2

On the bus, yeah ok?
Why are you on the wrong bus?
You missed yours
So why are you on the wrong bus?
Because this one was following your bus and you thought it would catch it
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Then when it did catch up your bus turned right and the other one went left.
I see
What about the gunfire?
It was fireworks for Winterlude?
I see
Ummm
Yeah yeah
Listen Ummm I got to go play with my boobies.
No she’s not
No, no
Next week
Yeah I know
I’m weird
You just keep racing busses……..

Have a nice weekend

Walker