What To Write About? ©

What to write about hmmmmmm.
Oh I have an Idea.
I’m going to write a post for Peter of Holtie’s house.

He asked me a question a couple of posts ago about how many of my posts are stories.
Many of them are but not all of them are true but even the fiction I write has a lot of truth in it.
I do like writing a piece of fiction once in a while like my Sex Talks or Antique Stories just to exercise my mind not to pretend I am a writer.

OH and speaking of Sex Talks, D1’a boyfriend has been wanting to get a look at my blog but she told him I only let strangers read it.
I guess she means you weirdos.

Anyway she didn’t tell him but one day got a glimpse of my blog on my computer and tied the name of the blog with the address at the top of the screen making it easy for him to find at home.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
May look that way but it wasn’t.
You see, when I first started this blog I made a mistake.

I created two web addresses and then choose the wrong one to use for my blog.
The one you see up there is, http://losthearandbeyond.blogspot.com/ instead of http://losthereandbeyond.blogspot.com/.
By the time I realized my goof up I had posts up and people reading so I said fuck it but I kept the other one as well.
In fact, it still looks like the old LHAB template, as I never changed it.
Ok, I’m a little nostalgic.
Not only did I bring it to life but I also posted a post on it.

Now, only I knew that story and now many of you do to but D1’s boyfriend didn’t so he went home and typed it in with HERE instead of HEAR and ended up at the other blog and read this post.

As he was reading it he was Iming with D1 and sending her clips of the post even though after reading one sentence she begged him to stop but apparently he insisted.
He should have asked me, I mean I have nothing to hide.
I only post my twisted version of the truth.
So yeah, he read my Opera.

He’s probably still brushing his mouth.
Oh, speaking of teeth brushing.
Man did I screw up on the holidays.
I don’t know if I forgot to tell you about this or if I was to embarrassed to at the time.
That and I have a nice little buzz on right now.

My mother loves her new toothbrush.
This year I decided to get her one of those oral B rechargeable toothbrushes that way I could tease her she is getting oral ever morning.
Being the smart one I decided to get Inia one to but a little different than my mothers.
Christmas eve I had a few and sat down to wrap up gifts.
This year to make life easier I got boxes to put gifts in making it easier to wrap those odd shaped gifts.
Making it even easier, I wrapped everyone gift in their own paper so I knew who’s gift was what.
You plan carefully and everything comes out just right.
Yeah, right.

Somewhere amidst all the smoke and beer I somehow, got the two toothbrushes mixed up.
I know what you’re saying in your heads.
So what, it’s toothbrushes?
Yeah I know but like I said the one for Inia was……special.

Yeah…..we were all next door when we opened our gifts; everyone was laughing and tearing paper apart like the Hulk and then my mother opened hers.
The room went silent.
She looked at it and was happy as hell.
She said she always wanted an electric toothbrush.
My brother and SIL stood there, mouths hanging.
My father took it from my mother’s hand and turned it on to see it work.
He old her it was going to knock out her last two teeth.

I’m telling you, she loves it so much she shows it to all my aunts and uncles when they stop by.
Inia loves hers to.

My mother’s new cordless toothbrush.



So as you can see I kind of messed up.

It’s not like I haven’t done it before.

There was this one time I had to go to a wedding in place of my parents because theu couldn’t make it so I found myself off to this thing knowing no one really.
I’m like the black sheep of the family so no one really knows me.
My aunt saw me last year at a funeral and asked me who I was and almost fainted when I told her.
She practically raised me for the first 16 years of my life.

So anyway, I get to the church a little earlier than I was supposed to be there.
I’m always punctual and it’s a good thing to because the wedding had already started.
So I run in and sit down in the back of the church and hide from God while checking out the bride’s ass as she walks down the aisle a lot longer.
Yeah, yeah I know, I’m, shameless.

I sat there through out the service and joined in the line to congratulate them happy couple.
I didn’t know them but I figure they needed all the luck they could get.
After the service I went out to the car and waited for them to pull out and followed the wedding procession to the dinning hall where the reception was to be held.

Back then things were a little different
You went in and sat at a table with your family.
There were no place cards or any of the fancy shit they have now.
Being private I sat near the back, close to the open bar.
Dinner was a seven-course meal with roast beef as the main course.
Tons of pastries and all the booze I could drink.
.
.I have to say I managed to have a good time.
Someone asked me whose side of the family I was there with and I told them the bride’s as my pare3nts had said to me.
We had a great time and I was a little sad to leave around 1 am but I recall I was a little drunk and driving.
Back then it wasn’t as frowned upon, it should have.
Anyhow, I walked up to the bride and groom and wished the forever happiness and gave them the money filled envelope my mother gave me to give them, then left.

The end

Not really.

About a month after the wedding my mother calls me over and when I get there she shows me this card she got in the mail from some people she doesn’t know.
Thanking her for going to their wedding and for their generous gift.

My mother looks at me and asks what this was?
Me, my mind was spinning back in time.

OK, this is what happened.
Me and my got to be there on time and arrived thirty minutes early arrived to the wedding that was before the one I was SUPPOSED to attend.
Seems they were behind.

Oh well, what can I say?
OOPS!!!!

So where was I, ah yeah.
What to write about and my idea.
Yeah, so, I just told you three stories and one of them is true.

Which one is it?

Have a nice day

Walker