blue moon (2)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Replacement ©

Three days ago I sat here writing a post.
It was a poignant post about something.
I have a couple of posts I started writing and stopped.
Except this poignant one.
I fucked that up when I accidentally deleted it.
Yeah, yeah I know you all have done it at one time or another but I don’t fucken care.
I wrote that one when I was stoned and can't remember shit now when I am straight.

It had some shit about these new airport security bullshit x-ray your ass as you go through.
I couldn’t work there.
I’d have a hard on the whole time.
Every kid's dream when I was a kid was having x-ray glasses.
This is a fucken dream job.
Never have to buy a playboy or a national geographic book again.
Just get a job with airport security and you’ll see all the T & A you want or dreamt of.

Me, I’m going to spray paint my dick with florescent green paint so it looks like some alien’s cock as they scan me.

I think instead of going through all the expense of putting in all these x-ray machines they should take the hijacker back on the same plane he tried to blow up and fly over his house and toss him out the door from thirty thousand feet.
We could have a pool on how close he lands to the outhouse.

I could get political here now if I want but why.
It’s not like what I think matters or what you think for that matter.
They will do what they want if we like it or not.

Look at this gay marriage thing in California.
51% said no.
One percent of the population dictates what the other forty nine percent have to live with and that one percent is probably about five hundred people but that’s democracy.
Is it right?
Democracy is, as far as I'm concerned but maybe they could put some guidelines like in order for something to be implemented one side or the other would need 60% of the vote thus tipping the scales in favor of a larger majority of the population.
It also promotes dialogue and compromise to achieve a common goal.
But that’s too easy.

The kicker is all the gays who got married before the vote are still legally married in California.
Just more gays can’t get married.
They have to live in sin instead like most heterosexuals.

You know if I hadn’t lost that post I wouldn’t have to write this dribble.
Did I tell you I went for chicken wings last Wednesday?
I love chicken wings so off I went with the kids, D1 D2 and D2’s boyfriend.
Nice kid.

After we had our fill of wings I gave D1 some money and as she was paying I walked out to the sidewalk.
While standing there, a guy walked up to me with an army back pack on his back and asked me for some change.

Without looking towards him I told him I had none.
Now I don’t know if it was my refusal that got him or my not looking at him but he asks my what my problem was.

If he was craving my attention he had it now.
I looked at him, he was in his thirties, beard, about five ten.
He took a step towards me and asked me what he had done to me.

I was looking into his eyes and knew he was high on something.
Probably crack.
I grew up on these streets and I know the look and know how dangerous this was going to become if I allowed it.

I don’t give money to people on the street.
I’ll give them food
Not money.
Most of these people spend more money a month that I do.
They just buy dope with it, I buy food first and my pleasure last.
Good thing masturbating is free.
For now anyway until they put a chip in each cheek to monitor lateral movement.

When he was about to take another step towards me I quickly took two steps and crowded right up to him forcing him to take one step back.
My right hand was primed to shoot out at any sign of aggression.
I wasn’t going to let a junkie any momentum to hurt me or the kids.

I could see his rage in his face.
It’s when the kids walked out of the pub and saw us to the side in a death stare while he hurled insults at me.
Insults I can handle and take all that come my way.

D2 walked up behind me with her boyfriend and asked what was up.
That’s when he screamed at the top of his voice that “WAR” was coming and that “I” will feel its wrath.
I told him fine and dandy but right now he was going to be its first fucken casualty then turned towards him.
He ran back a few feet and hurled more insults at us as we walked away down the street.
On the way down the street D2s boyfriend said he was waiting for me to drop him so he could jump in too.
Great, I got to knock down his meat too.

When I was his age, I hate using that term as I hated hearing it BUT when I was his age I used to take down two three guys in a fight at the same time.
Once, three of us took on FORTY guys!!!
We lost.

The world is gone nuts but there is some glimmer of hope.
As I was walking down the street today there was this big woman.
It’s fucken cold but she has her headphones on and strutting down the street to the tunes in her head.
Ok I was looking at her big tits swaying back and forth but they were doing it in tune.
So just for her jiggling and my delight some AC/DC

Ok that’s enough of this.
Oh and yes I have a soul.
My shoes, are another story.

Have a nice day



BlazngScarlet said...

The world HAS gone nuts!
The girls should be glad you were there and recognized the danger.
Not everyone can.

Nothing like titties bouncing about eh?
Well, unless they were bouncing off your face. :)

Walker said...

BlazngScarlet : You've heard of aromatherapy, I'm more into boobatherapy :D

Liane said...

Once again, Walker, once again you made me laugh out loud and then having to explain to those around me what my outburst was all about... when they start to tax for masturbation, now that's when the world will see the biggest.. oh never mind that.. i shall not In regards to your situation with that guy... boy, that so sounds familiar.. I grew up in Berlin (west) and man, those were the most dangerous people out at times... and you had to develop a certain sense to distinguish between a real unfortunate person and those that use it as a business, i.e. junkies and alike... worse even at the time when the Romanians came over and the Russians (after the wall came down)... street-begging became a business and child labor was high.. and if you didn't give money, you could bet there was a car not too far from the scene, turning on the engine... Sad, really sad what this world has come to :-( And man.. i guess i am no joy at all with head phone in.. no matter what the i shall go now ;-)

Just telling it like it is said...

You don't need to spray your peni...they have florescent condoms and it makes you ultra safe..Now I need a picture of that you understand

Peter said...

I can't work out what part of this post to comment on, The x-ray machines, the flouro cock, gay marriage in California, junkies and street begging, free masturbation, fighting 40 to 3 and losing, Tits that jiggle in tune???
Ah fuck it.... good post!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

Nipple flash

Boxer said...

I would not want to mess with you.


Suzanne said...

Boxer's here! We both know the good stuff! You fuckin' know there's a smile on my face and I'm shaking my head. You're amazing and you know I love you so!!!! You're beyond hot! Baby, is that Led Zepplin? Yes, love you.