Lost Time ©

Turn, turn, and turn
Turn time around
Turn it inside out
Take back the past

Take it before the future chokes you to death
Before it’s to far, to late and time runs out
Before it’s to far to go back to fix
Fix what can’t be fixed today

Leave, nothing behind
Leave, nothing to regret tomorrow
Leave, nothing to envy
Just leave tomorrow to reach for

Float away to the oceans
Instead of swimming against rushing waters of the past
Against crushing waves of thought
And feelings

We awaken to a sunrise
Watch the sun set into yesterday
With tomorrow not far away
Just a blink away

It’s been an interesting few weeks with lots to think about.
If you haven’t figured it out yet I have taken a month off with only a few breaks to take care of a few things and to run through you blogs to see how you have been doing.
In my defense I have never really taken any time off over the almost last five years of blogging.

With D2 and I spending a lot of time together now that school is out we got the chance to know each other a little more.
D1 and I have a lot been spending a lot of time together over the summer, which is nice considering she refused to speak to me for the last seventeen years.

They have both found out a lot about me while being here over the last eight months through what they see and the friends I surround myself with.
A few weeks ago they walked by Archie’s while I was there sitting out on the porch with some of the boys and I called them over.
You should have seen the look on their faces.
I was sure they were going to piss them selves when Archie stood up and waved them over.

In actual fact they had nothing to fear seeing as their father was there along with 3 uncles a great uncle and four of my best friends but seeing the rough bunch in the state they were in at the time I am sure they saw the puts of hell opening up at that morning and a dozen demons crawling out of the ground to slaughter them like sheep from what their mother had told them about me and my friends.

Archie looked them over then asked me which was older.
I nodded towards D2 and told him she was 3 ½ years older.
He looked at her then at D2 before telling me D1 was scrawny and must take after my mother’s said of the family but D2 looks like and Amazon.
Tall and looks like she could beat the fuck out of anyone who pisses her off.

Earlier this month D1 had asked me to attend an art show she had been asked to participate in that was being held in a bar in the market.
It was the first time she had been asked to show some of her stuff and they had used one of her paintings as the background to the tickets they were selling.
Her mouth asked if I could go but her eyes said please come, so I said yeah I would and besides it was at one of my old hang outs so it was an opportunity too see how things have changed.

The day of the event I went into my closet and pulled out the clothes I would usually wear when I go out to a venue as the one I was going to.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and D2 looked at me and asked whom I was going out to kill.
WTF?!
She said I looked like a hit man?
What the hell is she talking about?
I was wearing my Levis, black t-shirt, jet black Nike’s that say ZOOM on the back of them.
Must be referring to the speed at which a beer goes from my lips to exiting the end of the road to the toilet.
Ok my hair is a little wild and I need to cut off a couple of inches but Inia says she loves to grab it when I’m undoing her bra.
Seeing as there are enough hooks on the fucker that we could call it a combination bra she had lots of time to yank at it.

I get to the market and find a parking spot three blocks from the club.
I figured I better not get into any trouble because if I had to make a run for it I would probably have a heart attack running the three blocks to the car.
I walked up to the club and right next to it is a strip club.
There was a blond stripper standing outside having a smoke and smiling at all the passing men.

I walked into the club where the art show was being held and showed my ticket to the guy with a counter in each hand.
I asked him what that was all about and he said at the end of the night it helped them find the ones that passed out and were still there.
Okayyyyyy……….

I rounded the corner and walked into the open and three strides brought me to the steps leading up to the bar.
At the same time my eyes panned the room.
I didn’t need to see where I was going because my feet have taken those steps hundreds of times.
My eyes went to the right of me as I mounted the bar area and spotted my Ex sitting next to D2 when the band started up and the music drew me to the other end of the bar area where I stood for the next forty five minutes letting the vibes pound against my body.

I looked to my left and caught the barmaid with a look and breathed a silent word to her before she turned and in a whirl slip a pint of what I drink not far from where I was standing.
Two steps and my hand was warming the sweating bottle while her slender fingers snapped up the fiver from the black marble bar.
I slid back to my corner and stood there taking in the sound pouring out of the speakers until the band was done and the DJ cranked up The War Of The Worlds.

Finishing my beer I turned and deposited the empty bottle as I passed on the counter before taking the three steps to the main floor and up two more to the display area and straight to D1.
She saw me come and gave me a weird look then her mother turned and saw me walking up.
If she had gone any paler she would have looked like a glowworm in the dark club.
She then introduced me to her new boy friend.
I shook his hand and that’s it.
There is nothing more to say I guess, I don’t know him and I am happy he is keeping one of my headaches busy.

She told D1 she was going to walk around to look at some of the other stuff.
When she had gone I asked her how things were going and she said she had sold two pieces when they opened up and four were spoken for but her mother showed up and sat down for almost an hour to hang out with her.
She said she felt awkward.
I told her that I saw, that I had been there for almost an hour listening to the music before I came down.
I told her the band was just to good to ignore and she agreed

I stood there for 15 minutes and went back to listen to the next act.
She couldn’t sing worth spit but man, she had lots to look at that made up for it.
Three hours and three beers later, D1 came over where I was standing staring at a large painting of a nude women and she asked what I was doing.
I told her to look at the naked lady in the picture.
She’s kind of a prude when it comes to nakedness, sex and stuff like that.
They fast forward movies when they come to those scenes but she looked and then I pointed to a woman selling some really cool art pieces and said that’s her naked with her legs spread open wide like that and D1 almost choked on her tongue.
She said no it wasn’t because she worked with that lady and wouldn’t do anything of the kind.
I said that it was because I can tell by the shape of her boobs through her shirt and the way they were spilling out of the top that it was her and D1 almost fell over.
She insisted it wasn’t her and I argued that it was so I got up to go over and ask her to which she freaked out.

I gave in and let the subject go and she asked if I would stick around to drive her home with me.
It wasn’t a problem I just ordered another beer and chatted with the barmaid for a bit.
She asked me questions about my pendant and I wondered if she any, boobs under her shirt.
Taking my beer I walked down to the main level and stood in front of the painting of the nude woman and looked back and forth from it to the woman who was talking to D1 who was staring at me with her eyes bulging out of her head.

When she had collected some stands from her, D1 came by and said she needed to get her bag and we could go.
The lady she worked with walked up to me and as she came close I looked up at the painting again then right at her.
She looked up at the painting then and me and smiled.
If I had my wallet with me, I would have bought it.

Last week we went to the local fair.
I haven’t been there with my kids in over fourteen years and never all of us together so this was our first time but what I do remember was they hated going on rides.
One time the had to stop a ride that was going walking speed that never went higher than the ground because D2 was screaming like she was being slaughtered by Freddy Kruger

As we walked through the midway and both were watching everyone else lining up for rides D2 decided she wanted to try one and asked for tickets.
Then she talked D1 to join her and before you know it, they were standing in a long line with Inia’s son.
Poor kid, he was screwed and didn’t know it.
After that first ride they both ran for a bracelet each and went on every ride they could get one as many times as they could.
In fact, we left the three of them there and came home.
When they got home they were wasted.
D1 said they went one 100 rides.
D2 was almost in tears when she realized what they have been missing all their lives

All night long all they talked about was the rides and compared bruises like battle scars from a battle.
I managed to win 6-7 large stuffed toys for them, which after winning them I remembered why I hated winning them and that was because I had to carry the fuckers around for five freaking hours.
Oh and the best part is the people in the booths yelling at you saying “Hey, you can win a bigger one here”.

“Yeah I know but I don’t want to carry a seven foot cow around for five hours you tit”.
One guy thought I was kidding until I walked up and won a large “Stewie”.
I worked at the fair for ten years and played every game there was there so winning is not the problem.
It’s the carrying.

There was my bbq but that’s a post in its own.
It was the first time my daughter’s have ever attended one.

There was a lot pf running around but there was some time to lay back and relax and enjoy life.
Sitting by the river smoking a joint watching the blue smoke curling up into the evening light.
Sitting there later staring at the spent roach drifting downstream a crashing sound erupts from behind and a forestry warden stumbles through a bush mumbling something about smelling marijuana.

Walking over he didn’t see anything but the cooler and asked to have it open.
Inside he found two walleye and three small mouth bass swimming around the bottom of the cooler.
“Do you have a fishing license to fish here”?
“Fishing license”?
“What for”?
“You need a fishing license to fish here or I will have to confiscate everything you have including your car”.
“ I didn’t catch those fish”
“They are pets and I brought them from home so they could relive their past”.
“Do you think I am stupid”?
“No it’s true, I bring them here and let them go so they could swim in their primordial waters and when it’s time to go I blow this whistle and they swim back to the cooler”.
“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life”.
“It’s true and I can prove it”
“All I have to do it show you”.
“OK, this I have to see, go ahead”.

“Well”?
“Well what”?
“It’s been about fifteen minutes now. Don’t you think you should blow your whistle and call the fish back”.
“What fish…………..”?

I should be back in about a week.
I hope you’re all having a great summer.

Have a nice day

Walker

Blinded By Tartar Buildup ©

Let’s see, what do I write about?
Life is busy and full.
When does fucken school start again?

What have I been up to?
Let’s see, I went to the dentist and she cleaned my teeth and as soon as I looked at them after in the mirror I went blind.
No word of a lie.
I couldn’t see fuck all for a week.

She said, “What do you think”, I looked and the nosepiece for my glasses just parted and that was the end of my eyesight.
Worse part was I was at the mall and I can’t drive without my glasses.
In fact I’m blind as a bat when I don’t have them on.

After feebly trying to attach them to my face for thirty minutes I remembered the new little marvel my parents got installed in the car.
Taking it off the dashboard then looking through squinting eyes trying to focus, I managed to program the GPS with my address.
D2 thought it was a great idea.
Yeah she came with me to the dentist too.
She hasn’t been to one for most of her life and when the dentist took one look at her teeth she told D2 the inside of her mouth looked like a par nine golf course as she had nine cavities.

All strapped in, I look out the window and all I could see was the light at the end of the tunnel.
I knew I was fucked.
I figure even though I couldn’t see the GPS would steer me home.
Smart eh, not really.
I mean, they can get the stupid thing to tell you where to turn but you’d think some dumb shit would have made it to tell you when the fucken light turns red or there’s a stop sign up ahead.
It didn’t help having D2’s screams piercing my ears and drool splashing the right side of my face.
After about three minutes of driving down the street as well as Ray Charles I pulled over to think of something else.
Where’s the Seeing-Eye Stripper when you need one.

You’re laughing eh but I know what I am talking about.
Just think of it, the blind person can’t see the naked woman but everyone else can.
The sight of her would make the traffic stop so the blind guy can cross the street safely.
And you all thought I was just a pervert when I have purpose and thoughtful reasons for my perversions.
I mean they do it for accidents that they can’t even fucken see, then get into one themselves and no one stops for the dog.
The only thing the dog is really good for is handcuffing the blind person to because when the dog sees a car barreling down on them the only thing it’s thinking is “Fuck the blind guy, they’ll tie a new one to me” and making a run for the other side.
Don’t tell me none of you have seen German Sheppard running across a parking lot dragging some guy tied to the leash?

So I’m parked on a flowerbed in front of some lawyer’s office trying to figure out how to get home.
D2 was screaming something about a queer carrying a pail, actually she wasn’t.
She just had her teeth fixed and she was having problems speaking with her lips frozen
Later when her face wasn’t frozen she told me she was screaming, “The wheel is on a squirrels tail”.
An honest mistake

I gave myself a headache staring at the stupid glasses trying to focus enough to see if I could find a solution to this problem.
Fishing through the glove box I found a tube of crazy glue, some duct tape, screwdriver, panty hose, some band aids and the car manual.
Standard supplies for a car.

I tried crazy gluing them together but that didn’t.
Stupid things are titanium.
Then I tried duct tapping them together but I couldn’t see through the lenses because they were covered with duct tape.
I sat there busting my head thinking of what I could do to get the glasses on my face long enough to get the fucken car home and after that it didn’t matter I could walk anywhere I had too.
Band aids, pantyhose, hmmmmmmmmm

I was flying down the highway trying to get home as fast as possible before something happened and I had a lot of explaining to do.
I looked over at D2 and she had slid down below the dashboard as the car raced home.
So far everything was going good and I was zipping along but I would have to get off the Queensway eventually and go down to the main road but at least I could get off close to home.

I pulled onto the off ramp leading to my place and peeled through the light as it turned yellow but I knew I really had to step on it to make the other one because they are seconds apart but as luck would have it someone was in front of me and I got caught at the red light.
I kept my cool and stared straight ahead but I had an urge to look to my right.
I did my best to fight it off but as I saw the light on the other side turn yellow I slowly turned my head and looked into the bulging eyes of a couple in the car next to me then took off with the green light and around the corner of the next block and up my laneway where I stopped in front of my father who had just came out of the garden.
He was carrying a bucked and wearing a funny straw hat.

I opened the door and stepped out of the car.
The bucket fell out of his hand and he stood there staring at me.
The door on the other side of the car opened and my father looked over but didn’t see anything but the door close and the sound of running feet.

My father looked back and me and asked if it was Halloween again?
I looked down at my feet and the pantyhose legs hung down from my head across my chest lat a vest.
I pulled them off and the old man took a step back.

Twelve band-aids were crisscrossed taping the halves of the glasses to my head with two big one making a pink “X” between my eyes but that wasn’t enough so I pulled the pantyhose over my head to help keep them snug to my face while I drove home.
Good thing the cops didn’t see me.

It’s been two weeks since that day and I have my eyes back once more.
Getting new glasses was a nightmare.
I couldn’t see to pick new frames because mine were discontinued so this Asian guy who barely spoke English picked them for me so I now look like a Pokemon.
All I need is Sailor Moon bending over in front of me to complete the frame.

My Bbq is this weekend and I have lots to do to get ready but I will do my best to get back here before then.
When does school start again?

Have a nice day

Walker

I'm Still Around ©

It's the damnest thing.
I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and came home blind.
I knew all those years of whacking off would catch up with me some day but now that I can see again I'll put up a decent post not like this fake post I'm using to stale for time.

I spent 5 days feeling my way around the house and city and I have never squinted so much in my life.
I squinted so much my eyes now look like a cross between Chinese, Korean, Japanese eyes mixed with bloodshot red for color.

Preparations for the BBQ continue with two weeks left until the big day but i have been preparing for the last two months so there won't be as much work on the final days which will give me some time to spend with Inia who will be here with her kids.

Oh and the BONG, I call it Inia because she gave in to me as a gift.
Actually she pulled a fast one on me.
I was looking at it to buy from someone online who was selling it whom had one it in a raffle.
Just when I did decide I was going to try and buy it, it was sold which pissed me off a bit for being to slow in acting but thems the breaks.

As I was talking to Inia telling her that I was going to send an email offering double for it she began to freak out because she had bought it to surprise me and now i was trying to steal it from her.
Two weeks later Inia raced across the border before she got to my place to meet up with the lady selling the BONG in some parking lot on the other side of the city then showed up and surprised me with it.

Isn't life a surprize bag of fun.

Have a nice day

Walker