Gettin Dilly ©

Ring

“Hello”

“Hey good buddy”

“Arch is that you”?
“Is everything ok, what time is it”?

“It’s 9:30”

“Holy fuck, 9:30pm already”!!!!!!!!!

“Noooooo maaaaaaan, 9:30am”.

“9:30am Friday”?

“No man, it's Thursday”.

“I just got to bed two hours ago, what the fuck are you calling me at 9 fucken 30 in the morning for”?

“I have a question for you”.

“It better be a damn good one because your freaky life is on the fucken line Mr. 9 fucken 30 in the bloody morning”.
“Didn’t I tell you not to damn call me this fucken early in the morning”?

“It’s important”.

“Ok, what the fuck do you want”?

“What’s Anitho”?

“Say what”?

“What’s Anitho”?

“Are you out of your fucked up mind”?
“You called me at this fucken time to ask me what anitho is”?

”Yes”.

“As soon as I get up, I’m going to come up there and finish off those fucken wobbly knees of yours”.
“How fucken long have you lived in this country……what….forty five years and you don’t know what anitho is”?
“It’s fucken dill”.

“Ah I see”.
“So it’s that big thing that looks like part celery and part Chinese cabbage”.

“Huh………no that’s fucken anis”.
“Dill is little tiny leaves on stems”

“That’s an asshole”.

“No you dumb fuck, I said anis not fucken anus”.

‘I want that big one like the cabbage to chop up and put in my stew”.

“Then you want anis”.

“Ok so that is anitho then”.

“NO, I told you anitho was dill”.

“Then what is the other one called”?

“Anis, I told you”.

“Ah, anitho”.

“NOOOOOOOOOO, anitho is dill”!!!!!!!!

“Well if anitho is dill why do they call the other one asus”?

“Not fucken anus, ANIS, you fucken twit”!!!!!!!!!
“ Anitho is Greek for DILL”.
“MARATHO is Greek for anis”.

“What’s maratho”?

“ANIS ANIS ANIS”?

“So that big thing is called dill”.

“I’m going to fucken kill you”.
“The big thing is anis, Maratho”.
“The one with the little leaves is dill, anitho”.

“That’s stupid, these Canadians can’t get nothing right”.
“They mixed up the names”.

“No they didn’t”.

“Yes they did”.

“Fuck off, so are we done now”?

“One more thing”?

“And what’s that”?

“What’s bahari”?

“What the fuck do you think I am a damn Greek/English dictionary”?
“You went to school in Greece and here”.
“What the fuck did you learn”?
“Bahari is Allspice”.

“What is that”?

“They look like pepper but bigger and have a pungent smell to them”.

“ I see; I sent Bernie to buy me some and he brought me incense”.

“No fuck, that’s bakhur not bahari”.
“ I don’t know why you people haven’t poisoned each other yet”.
“FUCK, and I eat there too”.
“Why all this sudden interest in translating words”?

“ I got this cookbook from when I was in Greece and I am trying the recipes and there is one for mageriki”.
“Seeing as that it’s almost Easter I thought I would make some”.

“Fucken gross”.
“I don’t know what’s bloody worse, mageriki or fucken haggis”?

“No no that’s good stuff”.

“I don’t understand you”.
“You say eating pussy is gross but sucking on a dead lambs asshole is cool”.
“I’ll stick to pussy”.

“Are you going out today”?

“Yeah why”?

“Can you pick me up this stuff”?

“The dill, anis and bahari”?

“Yes”.

“Yeah sure”.
“So are we done now”?

“Yes thank you Walker”
“So when are you stopping by, we don’t see you as much now since the girls moved back”?

“Wake me up this early again and it will be sooner than you think”.

I hung up the phone and lay there for about twenty minutes before I got up.
If I get woken up in the morning I’m fucked because I can’t get back to sleep.
After showering I got dressed and went next door to see what my parents were up to and as I walked in my father was hanging up the phone.
He looked at me and said it was Archie calling to ask him what anitho was.

As I was sutting there eating some cake my mother had made the phone rang and it was my uncle.
He said there was a sale of veggitable oil.
Both my parents turned and looked at me at the same time.

Fuck, here I go again.
Another chicken run.

About three hours later and twelve gallons of vegitable oil neatly tucked in the trunk I pulled up infront of Archie's place and walked it.
On the tble i put down what he asked for infront of him.

He picked up the anis and said, "So this is anitho, dill"?

I give up, "Yes it is".

Have a nice weekend

Walker