blue moon (2)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Gettin Dilly ©

Ring

“Hello”

“Hey good buddy”

“Arch is that you”?
“Is everything ok, what time is it”?


“It’s 9:30”

“Holy fuck, 9:30pm already”!!!!!!!!!

“Noooooo maaaaaaan, 9:30am”.

“9:30am Friday”?

“No man, it's Thursday”.

“I just got to bed two hours ago, what the fuck are you calling me at 9 fucken 30 in the morning for”?

“I have a question for you”.

“It better be a damn good one because your freaky life is on the fucken line Mr. 9 fucken 30 in the bloody morning”.
“Didn’t I tell you not to damn call me this fucken early in the morning”?


“It’s important”.

“Ok, what the fuck do you want”?

“What’s Anitho”?

“Say what”?

“What’s Anitho”?

“Are you out of your fucked up mind”?
“You called me at this fucken time to ask me what anitho is”?


”Yes”.

“As soon as I get up, I’m going to come up there and finish off those fucken wobbly knees of yours”.
“How fucken long have you lived in this country……what….forty five years and you don’t know what anitho is”?
“It’s fucken dill”.


“Ah I see”.
“So it’s that big thing that looks like part celery and part Chinese cabbage”.

“Huh………no that’s fucken anis”.
“Dill is little tiny leaves on stems”


“That’s an asshole”.

“No you dumb fuck, I said anis not fucken anus”.

‘I want that big one like the cabbage to chop up and put in my stew”.

“Then you want anis”.

“Ok so that is anitho then”.

“NO, I told you anitho was dill”.

“Then what is the other one called”?

“Anis, I told you”.

“Ah, anitho”.

NOOOOOOOOOO, anitho is dill”!!!!!!!!

“Well if anitho is dill why do they call the other one asus”?

“Not fucken anus, ANIS, you fucken twit”!!!!!!!!!
“ Anitho is Greek for DILL”.
“MARATHO is Greek for anis”.


“What’s maratho”?

ANIS ANIS ANIS”?

“So that big thing is called dill”.

“I’m going to fucken kill you”.
“The big thing is anis, Maratho”.
“The one with the little leaves is dill, anitho”.


“That’s stupid, these Canadians can’t get nothing right”.
“They mixed up the names”.

“No they didn’t”.

“Yes they did”.

“Fuck off, so are we done now”?

“One more thing”?

“And what’s that”?

“What’s bahari”?

“What the fuck do you think I am a damn Greek/English dictionary”?
“You went to school in Greece and here”.
“What the fuck did you learn”?
“Bahari is Allspice”.

“What is that”?

“They look like pepper but bigger and have a pungent smell to them”.

“ I see; I sent Bernie to buy me some and he brought me incense”.

“No fuck, that’s bakhur not bahari”.
“ I don’t know why you people haven’t poisoned each other yet”.
“FUCK, and I eat there too”.

“Why all this sudden interest in translating words”?

“ I got this cookbook from when I was in Greece and I am trying the recipes and there is one for mageriki”.
“Seeing as that it’s almost Easter I thought I would make some”.

“Fucken gross”.
“I don’t know what’s bloody worse, mageriki or fucken haggis”?


“No no that’s good stuff”.

“I don’t understand you”.
“You say eating pussy is gross but sucking on a dead lambs asshole is cool”.
“I’ll stick to pussy”.


“Are you going out today”?

“Yeah why”?

“Can you pick me up this stuff”?

“The dill, anis and bahari”?

“Yes”.

“Yeah sure”.
“So are we done now”?


“Yes thank you Walker”
“So when are you stopping by, we don’t see you as much now since the girls moved back”?

“Wake me up this early again and it will be sooner than you think”.

I hung up the phone and lay there for about twenty minutes before I got up.
If I get woken up in the morning I’m fucked because I can’t get back to sleep.
After showering I got dressed and went next door to see what my parents were up to and as I walked in my father was hanging up the phone.
He looked at me and said it was Archie calling to ask him what anitho was.

As I was sutting there eating some cake my mother had made the phone rang and it was my uncle.
He said there was a sale of veggitable oil.
Both my parents turned and looked at me at the same time.

Fuck, here I go again.
Another chicken run.

About three hours later and twelve gallons of vegitable oil neatly tucked in the trunk I pulled up infront of Archie's place and walked it.
On the tble i put down what he asked for infront of him.

He picked up the anis and said, "So this is anitho, dill"?

I give up, "Yes it is".

Have a nice weekend

Walker

42 comments:

Fire Byrd said...

Not a morning person then, Walker?

Boxer said...

now I have to go Google "anitho". If I don't get 8 full hours (in a row) of sleep, I am useless. What were you doing up so late?

BikerCandy said...

Wow, little did I know I was going to get a Greek lesson today. I feel so...Greek! ha ha I have to admit, the way he described the anis, I thought he was talking about fennel. Is that the same thing?

(Will I be your next...That damn stupid BikerCandy asking me ridiculous questions post?)

Suzanne said...

NO! I'm not dead. Just takes me longer to get around now with my walker!!! You know me, too much on my freakin' plate.

I have a suggestion for you and your friend. Photos with captions. Save you both a hell of a lot of time!

I had a greek friend in college. Last name Pappas. I loved that man to death. Still adore him although I haven't seen him in almost 2 decades. He took me to his uncles house up in the East Bay hills of the San Francisco/Bay Area one afternoon and we ate pea soup. Not an ordinary pea soup. Pea soup made with curries. Best damn soup I've ever had. I have no idea how to make it. Do you? It was ordinary homemade pea soup from dried lentles, but with various curries added. Knocked my socks off. To this day I regret I didn't get the recipe. It wasn't hot, just brilliantly warm and cozy. It remains the best soup I've ever eaten. Bar none.

Love you baby, so happy to see you're still enjoying pussy and friends!

XO

P.S. I think I should delete the last paragraph, but won't. What the hell. Who's gonna read this? :)

Leah said...

Who's on first?!

gab said...

Well you know some people just arent meant to cook! LMAO!!!!
Im sorry that some people take advanatage of you so often but you make it so much fun!!!!

nachtwache said...

Jassu! My sister is learning Greek, she has a couple of girl friends that are living together in Crete and she goes there on vacation a lot. I imagine she wants to eventually move there. I should give Archie her number. :)
My phone in the bedroom has the ringer turned off. Might wanna consider it.

Megan said...

You're so funny. And now I have to go find out what I missed...

Peter said...

Its all Greek to me!!!!!

Hey Walker, whats a clitoris??

Scarlet said...

Dill, anise, oil and lamb's asshole .... all in one post?!
WOW!
Good thing y'all are Greek, that could REALLY be a dirty joke. :)


BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just telling it like it is said...

I thought anus was a planet? No?

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hey Walker, with friends like yours, who needs enemies??? What a dill (sorry).

Tammi said...

How funny!! That makes me want to sneak your phone number and call you about 6 a.m. one morning!
Heck,I'm learning something new everyday...I have NO IDEA what Greek food even is.
I know...deep east Texas girl.
Did someone say "beans n' cornbread"?

Rainbow dreams said...

lol thanks for the translations.. I'm learning every day :) although I'm still confused.. who wouldn't be?
You are so good to your family.. x

Rainbow dreams said...

sorry I've said that before but you are, x

Lindy said...

LMAO...What a dill hole! And I don't mean anitho, I mean Archie. You have the patience of a saint.

Walker said...

Fire Byrd: It all depends who I am being woken up ;)

Walker said...

Boxer: I am nocturnal.
I am up all night and sleep during the day :)

Walker said...

BikerCandy: No its not. I think it might be part of that family. It has a licorise taste to it

Walker said...

Suzanne: There are various soups made from different parts of Greece.
Its a funny place with many different cuisines that go back centuries.
I think you have fava.

Walker said...

Leah: Sure wasn't me I just woke up

Walker said...

gab: Life is fun you just got to kicvk it in the balls to get it started once in a while

Walker said...

nachtwache: I would take the ringer off but having elderly parents i can't so I punish those who call me instead.
I am sure your sister is going to Crete for more tyhan just her friends ;)

Walker said...

Megan: I try, I bang my face against the wall until i look like Phylis Diller

Walker said...

Peter: Its the one thing that will save you in a clinch if you could find it.

Walker said...

Scarlet: It does sound like a recipe for koolosh

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: whos urn or mine

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots : My life is to confusing for any enemies

Walker said...

Tammi: But would you talk dirty to me like how's your Dill?

Walker said...

Rainbow dreams: The scary part is i am not confused and I should be.
Family and friends.
what would we do without them?

Walker said...

Lindy: Patience, no i just can't see the call display at that erly in the morning LOL

Monogram Queen said...

Oh lord, I think I would have just quietly hung the phone up!
I am terrible about "substitutions" and they don't always come out well!!!!

Tammi said...

I agree Monogram Queen--I'm not good at handling situations that good when I get woke up.LOL
That's why people tell me constantly"Why the F** do you even have phones for"?
Cuz,really,I'm not sure how I made it before the joys of caller ID!
HAHA

Michael Manning said...

What was that song? "You say Tomotto and I say Tomato..." Get some rest, Walker. We'll still be here when you get back! :D)

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: He would have called back LOL
I have done substitutions and they worked out just fine.
Ok prune muffins was a bad idea but they didn't taste that bad

Walker said...

Tammi: But what if it was a vibrating phone.
Ah you'd just let it ring and ring and ring .... :P

Walker said...

Michael Manning: I thought it was "You get Mary and I get Louise with the big titties". LOL

Tammi said...

Ohhh so true.I can't remember what we did BEFORE vibrating phones either!!
Bzzzzt!!Bzzzzzt!! Bzzzzt!!

Tammi said...

WALKER!!
I'm about to go meet someone I met online.If I don't make it back....send out the search party!LOL
Nevermind!! I'll be back....just kidding!

Walker said...

Tammi: Hmmm I am wondering who I will have to save LOL
Have a good time and if you dont get back I will have the Texas bloggers I know out searching.

Gattina said...

After all this fuck I want to know what it is in greek ! I am not so interested in vegetables.

Walker said...

Gattina: I don't know quite what you asking Dill is anotho in Greek
Maratho is Anis in Greek
Fuck is Gamma in Greek

I think that covered all the basis .

Thank you for stopping by :)