blue moon (2)

Monday, May 05, 2008

Insanity ©

As we walk down life's roads, paths, back alleys we are bound to come upon crossroads that overlap a path we had once travelled.
All roads lead in the same direction.
Recently I came upon such a crossroads in my life, I don’t know if my mistress is driving me insane or if I was insane to start with.
My mistress and I have been fucking each other for as long as I could remember.
She knows when to stroke me and when to get on her knees and give me a lick but every now and then, the bitch bites and she can bite real fucken hard when she wants too.

I have always tried my best to understand and perceive life to the best of my abilities and tried to follow the drunken path through it but every now and then I walk into a wall headfirst.
I used find myself scratching the lump on my head and wonder what idiot put that there, only to find out later it was something I have been building for a long time only to have it stand in my face down the road now.
We all have these walls that we run into on occation.

Then we decide we don't like it then proceed to break down the wall because it’s in our way.
It looks easier to do that in our minds than to say forget it and walk around the impendence.
We begin bashing at something that took decades to build thinking it will be a simple matter only to find yourself old and still struggling to get over what is in the past.

Personally I have accepted my past and never hide from it.
I am what I am, then and now, I have always believed that living with what ever decisions I have made in the past if it benefited me or not was alot easier than beating myself up trying to hide from it.
I have fond memories of some of the stuff we got away with or the adrenaline rush of almost getting caught.

Even though I have walked away from my past, I still find it in my way at times.
I may pause to look but in the end I just turn to walk around it but sometimes the wall decides to block my path with bold defiance.
My past has been crawling back into my life lately, banging on my door trying to get in but I have been ignoring it for the most part but three people have really tested me lately.

A month ago someone from my past a friend called me saying he needed my help.
I told him to stop over and we would talk.
The next day he came over and we sat and talked about the good old days when we were young, nuts and full of fire.
After reminiscing about the past I asked him what I could do for him.
He has this plan where we make a fortune selling drugs like the old days and live high on the hog like we used to.

Let me think about this for a second.

I used to sell drugs all day to make heaps of money to spend on women, drugs, and booze.
Indulge myself until I passed out on the floor until morning or should I say afternoon then spend the rst of the day trying to remember if I had fun with all my ill gotten gains.

That’s when you're not fighting off someone trying to kill me or rip me off or worse, waking up in jail not knowing why you're there or if you had killed someone to be there.
You could never walk down the street with a peace of mind because you're always looking for the cops or an enemy.
I do miss being shot at or opening my front door to an idiot in a ski mask in the middle of July with a toy gun in his hand telling me to give him all my money.
He got a log over the head from the fireplace.

Hmmmm, tough choice.

Let’s see what I have now.
I can walk down the streets and don’t have to jump at moving shadows and if some punk wants my money he’s out of luck.
The phone company rob me with the aid of hydro and the gas company before I get a chance to count it so he could go talk to them.
I don’t owe anything to anyone and I sleep well at night without my conscience bothering me for something I had to do.

My friends could come by my house without having to worry about the police crashing down the door looking for drugs or anything else I used to keep around back then.
I don’t have crazy blondes who want to stab me with a 10-inch kitchen knife.
Ok I don’t have a car like I used to but with the price of gas and insurance a taxi is cheaper or I could always hotwire a cop car if there is an emergency. HA HA HA
I pay taxes so I figure I bought the gas for it, right?
I used to have people calling me at all hours of the morning looking for drugs, now the phone is quiet but for a few friends who call for a quick laugh and of course my family who never stop calling.

I told him no.
I was happy being broke.
Money never gave me anything but grief and lots of pussy, I can still get plenty of that but without the other BS.

His first mistake, he said I was stupid.

Now I could take a joke like the rest of people.
You want to call me names in jest, well then fuck you to but I don’t let anyone disrespect me in my house while they are a guest and I told him as much.

His second mistake, he threatened me in my house that if I didn’t help him with establishing with some of my connections he would send a couple of people over and persuade me a little.
It seems, I owe him.

HA HA HA !!!!

I still have that gun in my closet somewhere.
I have no fucken idea where the key for it is but I would probably get more pleasure beating him over the head with it anyway.

This is a friend BTW or used to be until now and a good one.
I have no idea what has gotten into his head but he thinks he could relive a past that can never be relived.
Yesterday is gone but to him he still thinks this is the eighties.
I don’t know what they fuck he was thinking.
Out the fucken door he went along with his Tony Montana impersonation.

A few hours later I get a phone call and another threat with names of people he was going to send.
Amazing

I sat there on the phone explaining to numb-nuts that he had no friends and the people he thought were his friends only tolerated him because I have been defending him all these years otherwise they would have thrown his useless smug butt off of a bridge by now just so they could have some peace and quiet from his flapping mouth.
Then I told him if he had any sense left in his head from frying it with cocaine all these years he would forget his BS and not try anything stupid.
I may be out of the scene but it doesn’t mean I am not still friends with all these people.
He laughed at me and hung up.
That was a month ago and I hear his dreams have clashed with reality, which I am probably to blame for I’m sure.
Oh well.

I don’t understand why people just can’t accept that times have changed and just move on.
If he wants to get back into the business all the power to him but no one tries to force me to do something I don’t want to do.
There was a reason I quit.
Actually many reasons but the main was, I had enough of it.
It's a game for someone who is young and has the years to waste in a jail when caught and I don’t give a fuck who you think you are.
You’re going to get caught.

You can get away with a thousand crimes and laugh but they only need to catch you once and it’s over.
Once your marked, you’re always a suspect and the drain is close for you to go down it, so it’s that time when you get out as I did.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

While sitting watching the TV the phone rang, a collect call from jail.
Oh Oh I thought.
The mayor must have got busted again and needed someone to watch over the city until he got out.
I know I can handle it.

It was another friend who I have been trying to keep at a distance because he is a loonie.
This is the guy that called the FBI from my place to ask them if he could talk to his good friend John Gotti.
He called to tell me he wais in jail and wants me to call his sister, his lawyer, his Gf, his drug dealer, his bookie, his dog………to tell them he is in jail.
I told him to fuck off and phoned his sister to tell her he was in jail.
She was happy as hell to hear he was locked up, that should tell you something.

Every fucken day, the phone rang with collect calls from jail.
There was no way I was going to accept all the calls from him so I just ignored them after awhile.
He was only in for 30 fucken days.
If you can’t do 30 fucken days in jail, why they fuck are you breaking the law.
Wait until he gets a couple of years, then he’ll be fucked, right between the cheeks.
One time while he was high as a kite he pulled a knife on two hydro employees and took all their clothes and left them buck naked.
The cops found them running naked between parked cars crying.
They told the cops some big guy took their clothes at knife point and they were scared they were going to be raped in that alley.

Yesterday as I was sitting here watching the news, the phone rang at 2 am and it was him.
He was out and steaming mad because I didn’t accept the hundred collect calls from jail.
That’s at a buck a pop and he already owes me money, fuck that.
I know he wasn’t going to pay me what he owes me so I wasn’t wasting more on him.

Last year he called me up begging me to meet him at one of the most fancy restaurants there is for his birthday and his rich parents were picking up the tab.
I said no, he begged me.
He said he wanted his family to see that not all his friends were junkies.
Yeah, whatever I thought but I felt sorry for the fucker and said yes but to be on the safe side I took some money with me.

We went into the restaurant to wait for everyone
He ordered appetizers and beer.
After awhile some other of his friends showed up, he probably made them feel guilty to and we waited together but no one showed up from his family so we ordered some food.
We ate dinner and had more drinks.
The restaurant owner bought us a round of shots for his birthday.
When we were ready to leave he asked to speak to me on the side.
He had no money.
Was I surprised, no.
I expected as much and I think the rest did so we covered the cost of everything including his meal and drinks.
No big deal.
That is one thing but accepting a flood of collect calls not a fucken chance and he gave me an earful on the phone before I got sick and hung up.
He called today to ask me if I could go to Sicily with him in October for the festival.
Yeah sure, show me the ticket first.
This guy has got more screws loose that my computer chair.

Mike was here when he called about Sicily and laughed his ass off.
I told him if he wasn’t careful I would tell him where he lived and Mike shut up.
He already knew about the first guy who threatened me and laughed at that to.

As we sat there talking about a problem of his the phone rang and it was one of our friends we haven’t talked to in a year almost.
The three of us grew up together and got into drug scene together but we sort of lost him when we left it.
He wanted to continue until they finally busted him and sent him off for 7 years.
What did he learn in jail?
He learned that it wasn’t his fault.
It was the fucken cops that fucked him up by setting him up.
HA HA HA
Don’t you love criminals; they’re never guilty.

I don't know anyone whohas ben charged more than him and he never learns.
One time him and his other idiot broke into a bowling lane thinking they were going to hit it big.
After getting past the alarm they opened the door and ran in BUT anticipating a quick get away they put a brick to hold the door open.

Well,as luck would have it a cruiser drove by as they do to make sure everything is OK and they see the door wide open at 2 am in the morning so they pull ver t investigate.
Now, the bowling lanes are prett big and the two cops went uptere to see if there was anything wrong but all they could see was darkness.

Dumb and Dumber heard th cops coming up the stairs and decided to hide and make a run for it the first chance they got.

One of the cops decided that he was going to try something to see what would happen so in a clear voice he said
"OK, stand up or we'll shoot".

What do our two heroes do?
They both stand up yelling they surrender and almost gave the cops a heartattacks because they were behind the cops not infront of them.

He has been going to court for two years now over a dangerous driving charge and for death threats he made to his girlfriend.
He says he never threatened her and she is lying to the courts and us.
Us, we know better and we KNOW he did it without seeing the evidence because that’s what he is like.
Just like his father.

The courts didn’t have to know him like we do, they had a tape.
Yup, he called his girlfriend when he wasn’t supposed to.
She tells him that she is recording him even before he says a word.
What does he say after being told that he is being taped?
“I’m going to kill you, you fucken bitch”
Then he tells the judge the cops doctored the tape and had someone impersonating him.
What did the judge do?
He convicted him.
What did buddy do?
He fired his lawyer on the spot infront of the judge and is now suing her for loosing his case.

Is this story over, hell no because I haven’t told you the sentence yet?
He stood infront of the judge and gave his pre sentencing speech.
His lawyer would have done it if he hadn’t fired her but in a way, his incompetence and stupidity worked in his favour because I think the judge pitied him so much he sentence him for the dangerous driving charge the massive fine of 180 dollars and for the death threat he got 2 years probation and 3 months house arrest.
House arrest, where was that when I was going amuk?
What did Buddy think of the sentence?

He’s appealing.

Not only is he appealing but he has already served the house arrest and by the time it gets to court to have his appeal heard, his probation will be over but he will still appeal it because, he’s a moron.

When Mike and I heard he was appealing we both almost fainted.

House arrest, man I wish.
Lock me up with my big screen TVs and computers, microwave and dishwasher, telephone, beer and drugs.
Women and not 17 snoring other men

Watch him get his appeal and tossed in jail for his trouble.
WTF are these people smoking?
Where has all the common sense gone?
Is the world going insane or just me?

Just when we figured he had finished he brought up his other problem.
Yes he has more than one.
It seems that revenue Canada has refused one of his deductions on his taxes saying he can't deduct the money he spent on pot as a medical expense.
I thought Mike was going to choke on his tongue he was laughing so hard.
He actually went down there and started a bru ha ha over it so they told him that if his doctor provides him with a letter saying he had to smoke marijuanna they would concider the deduction.
So he went to the doctor and the doctor told him he wasn't going to give him a letter saying he needed to smoke pot, so buddy fired his doctor and is sueing him also.

Sigh, what can I say?
My mistress (Life) and I always loved to dance in the fire with the flames licking at our heels.
I guess some things never change Eh.

Hmmm, my bullet-proof vest shrank in the laundry I think.

Have a nice weekend

Walker

22 comments:

BikerCandy said...

Well, you can definitely say you do not live a boring life Walker. If you went one month without death threats or some loser friend threatening you I think you would get bored.

But, as one of your readers, it sure is entertaining!

Patti said...

Walker you have some friends, and then you have SOME FRIENDS!
Stay safe, my friend.

Jac said...

Walker ! put your hands up in the air, walk slowly four steps backward and stop right there.

Hand me your wallet !

Now turn left and open the door on your left, enter the loo. Down with your pants and sit down. Don't get up or dont make move until I am out of the WC door.

Don't look...close your eyes !

CLICK...

Walker said...

BikerCandy: I am just hqappy its not a daily thing.
I told Mike we should just move to someplace quiet but he said it wouldn't matter where we went.
If there are assholes there we'll still get into trouble lol

Walker said...

Patti: Variety is the spice of life :)

Walker said...

Jac: Jac bring a redhead with big tits because a guy will need some really big guns to get me to drop my pants LOL

Anonymous Boxer said...

ahahah - he tried to deduct his Pot?

I love your last line. Classic "Walker".

muse said...

Wow, you have come a long way, baby! Loser friends and all.

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer: Yeah well buddy has a card that says he can buy pot so he thinks he could deduct it.
From the amount he smoke you would think he was in pain from being run over by a train

Walker said...

muse: Oh that was just last week lol

JYankee said...

wow...you have lived the life...i guess it is time to slow down and smell the roses... peacefully..i may add!

Peter said...

Hi Walker, another thriller from the "Walker Files".

Michael Manning said...

When some punk threatens me for money, I begin speaking Bulgarian and they get pissed off and walk away! :D) Try this sometime. Begin speaking Greek, smiled and act like you don't have the slightest idea of what they are saying, but keep walking as you smile and look legitimate! You'll keep the few dollars you have left! :D

Walker said...

JYankee: I have lived an interesting life and I grow my own roses now but I get my hands dirty once in awhile, usually bailing out a friend from trouble.

Walker said...

Peter: Yeah but I wish there ws less thrill and more calm before the storm lol

Walker said...

Michael Manning: One day someone will mug you in Bulgarian then we will see what you do LMAO

gab said...

well like you said at least you had the smarts to know when to stop and get outta the game. And even though your life is quietier than before its still noisey with all these idiots oming at you with these great ideas! lol

Walker said...

gab: Well at least they keep me on my toes lol

nachtwache said...

As Gab said, at least you were smart, you learned! It's our society, everyone's a victim if things don't go their way, people don't seem to know how to take responsibility for their actions, no one's held accountable anymore. Blame everyone else, poor victim, life was rough.
Yeah, suck it up, life isn't fair, deal with it- that's what they should be told.
Gahhhhh. It's not you, society is nuts and it's a sign that we're heading downhill. Look at all the civilizations that were once great, then they got spoiled and weak and that was the end of their greatness.

Walker said...

nachtwache: I think it also about self preservation.
Something that's instilled in our genetics.
Some let that ned take opver and they blindly keep doing what they think is easy

Dotm said...

I thought my life was getting boring, but compared to yours, I think I prefer to keep it boring. :):)

Walker said...

Dotm: Hey I rather sit around playing with my plants. Cactus plants that is lol