blue moon (2)

Monday, February 18, 2008

Love Test #69 ©

The other day someone sent me this site and being bored as I was I look at it.
It was some sort of compatibility test for couples.
You put in the names of the couple and answer a few questions.
Since I am not really a couple, I have lost weight you know, I put in Frick’s name.

1.Walker, do you think Frick is handsome?
Yes, for a cat and he is always licking himself like a Prima Dona.

2. Does he know you?
Yes, he looks down on my face while standing on my chest causing me to think I am having a heart attack at 8 am every morning to make sure I am alive and capable of opening his can of food.

3. Does he have a moped, motorcycle or a car?
No, he is a Fourped that screams by at blinding speed and stops with a thud at every corner.

4. Does he dress stylishly?
Yes, he wears a tuxedo every day, even when he goes for a shit.

5. Walker, do you know his parents?
No, but I hear his mother was a barn slut and his father was a wandering Beavertail salesman

6. Does Frick know your parents?
Yes, and once when he was locked out of the house he went to their place to be safe but scared the fuck out of my mother when she looked up from her ironing and found Frick sitting there quietly watching her ironing.

7. Is he taller than you?
No, I understand his father was short to.

8. Do you know his friends?
Yes, his best friends, Mr. Shadow and Mr. Shinylightonthewall are here all the time playing with him.

9. Do you know his last boyfriend?
No, he keeps his private life private and spends a lot of his time in the closet when he is not on his laptop. Watching me play online poker

10. Has he already sent you a letter?
No, he never writes to anyone but I know he has sent a couple of people emails.

11. Has he given a present to you?
Yes, he coughs one up every now and again then strategically leaves it where I would be the most surprised to find it like at the top of the steps before I walk down.

12. Have you already been away with Frick?
No, he doesn’t like going places unless the house is on fire.

13. Do you know where Frick lives?
Yes, he lives in a three-bedroom house, filled with TVs and a mad man.

14. Does he know where you live, Walker?
Yes, he does, actually………..he’s my fucken stalker.
I can’t seem to get away from him.
The other day I was going for a piss and I swear I saw him peeking around the door to watch.
I think he wants ………to bite it.

15. Have you already been at his place?
Yes, it’s cluttered and his bed is covered in fur.

16. Does he have his own room?
Yes, in fact he has many rooms and uses them depending on where the sun is shining in at that time of the day.

17. Have you ever had a date with Frick?
Yes, a couple in fact.
We sit and watch movies together while eating pizza and every now and then when we are both stoned on catnip and pot he will jump on his computer chair and I would spin him until he falls off in a dizzy mess only to jump back up for another rush when he comes down.

18. Have you asked him to go out with you?
Yes, every spring I ask him to come out and smelled the flowers because I know he likes doing that then runs through then doing flips in the air.

19. Have you brought him home already?
Yes, 17 years ago and he refused to leave after.

HOW MANY FUCKEN QUESTIONS ARE THERE!!!!!!!!!!

20. Have you been alone with Frick?
Yes on many, many, many, times.

21. Have you hugged him already?
Yes many, many, many, times but I have to look away when I do because his breath smells like a fish’s ass.

22. Have you kissed him already?
No, are yeah fucken nuts, he licks himself with fishy ass breath saliva all the time?

23. Have you danced with him already?
Yes, we were both stoned and I just won the football pool.

24. Walker, do you love him?
Yes, well most of the time.
When he knocked down my antique vase smashing it into a million pieces I wasn’t loving him a lot right about then but I got over the vase thingy and he got over being shaved bald.

25. Do you go out (go steady) with Frick?
Yes well, Frick does.
He is always begging me to take him along to the washroom and the kitchen.

26. Does he like football?
Yes and I think he is a Carolina Panthers fan.
He used to like the Saskatchewan Tiger Cats but when he saw that black cat he was smitten.

27. Does he like any special sport?
Yes, he is a professional and the current chase the tail champion.
Last year in a feverish race while in the kitchen Frick scored a major victory when he captured the coveted tail.

28. Does he smoke?
No in fact he hates the sight of smoke and leaves if he see someone light up a cigarette.

29. Is he shy?
No, the other day he brazenly grabbed a rigatoni from my plate and made it out of the TV room before the fork hit him.

30. Can he be jealous?
Yes, once when I kissed my ex; he got so mad and jealous he waited for her to leave then ran between her legs tripping her and sending her flying head first down the stairs.
She got even by having him neutered.

31. Does he have long hair?
No he has short hair and thank god he does because he looses enough of it.

32. Walker, would you cry for Frick?
Yes I would.
He is a major part of my life and has been for almost 17 years.

33. Would you like to see him again?
Yes, well, it’s not like I have much a fucken choice now is it.

34. Is Frick older than you, Walker?
No, I am older than him by 32 years but he acts alot older for his age.

35. Does he wear glasses?
No and he has remarkable eyesight because I see him chasing tiny atoms through the air all the time.
He must be chasing atoms because I can’t see what the fuck he is chasing half the time.

36. Does he have freckles?
No but he does have long whiskers.
It’s lucky he does to because when the kids were small the played let’s shave Frick like daddy shaves.

37. Is he thin?
Not really, he is perfect.
Not fat not skinny. A lean mean smashing into everything machine, built for speed, not stealth.

38. Does he have blue eyes?
No they are yellow and in the dark they glow scaring the crap out of you if you don’t know he is there.

39. Does he have a boyfriend other than you, Walker?
No I don’t think so but I did see him rubbing up to that stuffed polar bear the other day so he might be stepping out.

40. Would you have sex with Frick? Would you really, Walker?
No, I don’t think so.
He is too much into the S&M (Scratch & Meow) and I am more into (L&B) lick and bite.

41. Does he know that you are in love with him?
Yes, and he takes advantage of it all the timeso that I buy him the best food and to get me to scratch his head.

42. Does he mean a lot to you?
Yes he does, he costs me a lot to, little fucker.

43. Walker, do you yearn for Frick?
Yes, I yearn to kick him across the room at least once a day. Love Test Results for: Walker &

Frick Love Test Questionnaire Analysis

You'll see each other again!
DUH, I open the can.
There are always ups and downs in every relationship.
Usually Frick running up and down the stairs at 4 am driving me nuts.
Although you think you know a lot about your partner already, you might want to spend some more quality time together.
He is glud to me like a body part now am I supposed to graft him to my leg?
Love, trust, understanding, affection, honesty, tolerance and loyalty are very important factors for a successful relationship.
We have lots of that, he loves when i wake up and go to the kitchen and he shows hiw affection up until I actually open the fucken can then its everyone for themselves and he is being honest when he shows me his claws if i get to close to his bowl but I am tolerant with him and her does show is loyalty to the electric can opener as I have found fur that has been rubbed off on it.
Think about what's still missing in your relationship and how you could improve it.
Well, Frick is missing his balls and I could crazy glue a set of ben wa balls to him
but I honestly can't see what goood it would do to our relationship, but a nice shine gold might impress the neighbourhood cats.

Numerology Analysis: Walker is 11 percent compatible with Frick Frick is 11 percent compatible with walker These percentages is based on the names, which you entered at the beginning of the Love Test.

I guess Frick and I will just have to stay bachelors and keep looking.
At least I still have my balls, for now anyway LMAO!!!!!!!

Have a nice day.

Walker

18 comments:

Patti said...

Oh one could have all SORTS of fun with that test couldn't one? LOL You got a laugh out of me!

muse said...

Hah! Notice how it said...your compatibility was based on the names, which you entered at the beginning of the Love Test! What a crock!

I'm glad that you and Frick have made that love connection.
Have a great day!

JYankee said...

that was an awesome test...! you two indeed belong to each other!

Gypsy said...

Blogger just ate my comment or was that Frick?

Walker, we seriously have to get you laid and soon my friend. Taking compatibility love tests with the cat screams of frustration (sorry Frick, I know you're gorgeous but really......). Roll on March eh Walker ;)

Peter said...

43 Fricken, pardon the pun, questions Walker, you are dedicated to the cause, is 11% compatibility considered good? is it considered good between a cat and a man?

gab said...

OMG.....I come back and read this!!!!!!! I laughed my azz off. But ya know those answers could have come form Puff and or Pumpkin....except puff does have long fur! lol Miss ya

The Troll said...

Mostly hilarious. I guess you had to answer EVERY question to get your highly scientific results, huh?

Blazngfyre said...

Oh yes ... you most assuredly NEED the big-boobied red-head .... QUICk!

Anonymous said...

lmao...thanks, I needed that...anyhow, cats can be kinda kinky--or is it just stinky--in the sack. Please don't go there, m'kay/?

probably have to sign in as anon again cuz of blogger snafu--xox

eb/j

Walker said...

Patti: I am not a big Mem fan and mostly because that everyone does the same one over and over and over and over but this looked like something I could have some fun with and I did. :)

Walker said...

muse: Yes I know, maybe we have been looking for partners the wrong way. We should be going for names of potential mates LOL

Walker said...

JYankee: Thank you it was fun to do. We sort of use each other. He makes sure there are no rats in the house and I open the cans :)

Walker said...

Gypsy: I know I know LOL

Walker said...

Peter: I know,so many questions when the bar scene is best.
A couple of beers and the other person looks perfect.

Walker said...

gab: Nice to see you back.
Yes most of us can relate to the love we have with our furballs

Walker said...

The Troll: Thank you, yes I had to answer one of three choices for the bunch but i was pretty lay back lets say to care so I played along.

Walker said...

Blazngfyre : In a black lace nightie with red crotchless panties long black silk stockings ;)

Walker said...

Elvira: I am happy you got a laugh. I think stinky is the word to use. :)