Through The Fog ©

So, does it feel like 2008 yet?
I don’t know; it’s been fucken weird lately if you ask me.
First I get sick.
Then I was riding dragons around the park for a week high on cough syrup.
After I wake up from the delirium, I go outside and there is fog, tornados and hail pounding on the door.
I was having more fun high on cough syrup, riding Puff and chasing squirrels out of trees.

WTF does a tornado in the winter look like?!

Can you just imagine a tornado in the middle of winter?
A big white funnel, armed with a gazillion razor sharp icicles coming at you at 100 miles an hour?
What do you do, run or maybe hide in the basement?
Yeah that’ll save your sorry sick ass, just run down there and cower next to the litter box.

The first thing it does is it rips the house up from on top of you and tosses it to the trendy side of town and leaving you pissing your pants in that pit you ran off to for security.
Then all goes silent; it’s gone?
A sense of being spared spreads over you as you enter the eye of the beast letting your heart feel some relief before it whirls its ugly head once more and impales you with a million liquid spikes only to move on seconds later so that a Chinook could move in so the sun can shine down on you as you lay there looking like you lost a fight against someone whacking you with a bed of nails.
But the sun will be there, warming your body, melting all the evidence out of the wounds so that when the cops do finally find your decomposing butt they have to do extensive forensic investigation before the come to the conclusion you were killed by a stampeding herd of strippers as they ran out of the strip club you were in.
They will dismiss the fact that you were found in your basement by saying it was a stroke of fate that the tornado dropped you off at home after picking you up at the club.

As insane as that story up there is, so are thoughts of tornados here in the winter but they are happening.
The weather here has been crazy, it's not our weather.
It’s cold as is could get one day, -35 and the next we are having springtime weather 15.
Peopel were wearing shiots on the news jogging.

Last night we had rainstorms when it should be blizzards.
It cam down in buckets and washed away most of the snow that we had piled up.
Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining but we have to ask ourselves why?
Is there someone out there with a weather machine and is fucking with our heads?

I went shopping with my father yesterday and as soon as we got out on the road we realized we should have stayed home.
The whole city had a blanket of fog sitting on it, a fog of which we have never seen before or at least I haven’t in my 48 years.

We couldn’t see more than twenty feet infront of us and no one was driving faster than a crawl all around us either.
For two days the fog surrounded our city until today.
Here are a couple of pictures of what it has been like for the last two days here without letting up for a second in two days.


Today, its back to being really cold again; make up your fucken mind, either cold or hot.
This weather isn’t doing me any good, either my back is locked up or it’s my left knee, the two main things that have plagued me most of my life.
The knee from when I was run over as a kid and my back from when I fell 20 feet and landed on some concrete steps, damaging some disks.

Small changes are ok but drastic weather changes like this does a number on old broken bones.
The only one happy about this situation is Frick.
He now has me laying down long enough to sleep on.
I can’t understand him.
Since Emme passed away he has been a different cat.
It’s like he has taken over her duties.
He it in her chair next to me for hours if I am on the computer.
He fucken pulled the buttons off of the keyboard on the laptop while doing his horny little dance last month.
Fucken pervert.
I got all but one back on and the “B” doesn’t work like it used to.

The boys called me up to confirm that since I do such a great job for the poker games that I am now the official Super Bowl hang out on Feb 3rd.
They are sending over a full rib roast and some other stuff.
I told my parents and now they want to come to the party when they heard the menu.
There will be enough food for an army but only 7 guys.
I keep telling them we don’t need that much but they always make sure I have enough left for a week.
I’m still trying to drink the beer they left last year.

I got to do the Bbqing on Saturday for my father’s party.
There is supposed to be 30 people over.
Mike called me tonight to tell me we will be moving him on the 27th.
I spend a lot of time moving that boy.
The last time I got shoed out of the back of the truck backwards and then hung up on the step only to slam into the ground and knocked semi conscious.
No sooner than I survived that they dropped a heavy leather couch on me from the second floor.
I got to get life insurance.
2008 is looking alot like 2007 LOL

This is about as long as my back will let me sit here for, I hope you all are have better luck than I am but don’t you worry none, I’ll be here by the weekend even if I have to crawl over to the computer.

Have a nice day

Oh hold on, I am feeling brave tonight so how about i do a little Q&A.
You can ask me any question you like and I will do my best to answer it as hoenstly as I could.
That should give me something to think about other than hanging myself from the light fixture if I have to watch another rerun of Everyone Loves Raymond or Seinfield.
Don't get me wrong, I used to like the shows the firast 100 times I saw them but after 10,000 reruns in 4 years I think they should have gotten the death penalty in the final episode.

Ok that's it I am off to the couch and my heating pad.

Ciao

Walker