blue moon (2)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

What Is A Man? ©

The other night I heard something that got me to thinking.
We, people tend to pick up habits and saying we hear or see from other people.
Some are passed down from family members and become a trait of that family until something happens and it changes.
I am sure there is a family of nose pickers and crotch scratchers out there as there are skiers and piano players.

Yesterday I heard a father tell his son to stop crying and to be a man.
The kid, about seven took a good thump when he fell off of the top of the stairs and landed on the sidewalk.

First off, it’s a kid and nowhere near being a man but then again what is a man or woman for that matter?
Does not crying make you a man?
How about being brave and putting your life on the line, does that make you a man?
How tough I am is what makes me a man, is that it?
Does how many women you fuck make you a man?

I have done a lot of crazy things in my life and a couple of times almost gotten killed.
I have been on the right side of the law and on the wrong side.
There have been times I have backed out of fights and other times I started them.
I think bravery and craziness get to much credit for what is believed necessary for someone to be considered a man.

As I sit here thinking back to when I was younger and how my life developed I wonder what it was that made me a man.
Over the years I have learned a lot about life through what I have seen and from others much older than me.
Not all of what I learned was positive, the negatives were just as importance because they show you the results that might happen if you head down that path.

While the memories of my exploits pass before me the most important ones were not the battles won or lost but the ones I avoided with no or little trouble.
All the sex I have had pales next to the love I shared with those women.

We call ourselves civilized but we display primitive attitudes and pass them down to our children and tell them that this is what it means to be a man.
But is it?
I know for a fact if put to the test I can fight and be merciless if forced to fight yet I can cry with the best of them when I loose someone I cared for or see a child being wronged.
Does that make me any less of a man?

It’s no different for women because I hear it all the time from both sexes.
Little boys are raised to be tough, little girls are raised to be appealing to men.
There is nothing wrong with any of that but is it what makes people become a Man or a Woman.
Are tits and a pussy all you need to be a woman?

Social perceptions are the biggest problem in the world right now as we enter an age of freedom.
Up to now we have never truly experience real freedom as a whole and it spreading through out the world.

National pride and religious doctrine have always suppressed people from being free but that is changing slowly and violently across the globe.
Here in the west we are freer than those in underdeveloped countries and countries that are run but their religions where the cave man attitude is still dominant but even we are not truly free.
We tend to create stereotypes and think that this is the template that we should use for someone in being a man.

If a male was strong and could till his farm or was a good hunter was he a man?
Or a woman who could raise 5 kids, do the laundry and make dinner every day was she a woman?
Do we let our erotic desires pollute how we think and allow social beliefs tell you what is right or wrong?

I think what it is to be a man or a woman is the ability to determine what is right or wrong and to act on your beliefs nothing more or less.
It doesn’t matter what sex you are, it’s how you act and hold yourself.

That kid didn’t need to be told to be a man, he needed to be shown some compassion so one day he can return that compassion to his son, daughter or fellow human being.
He needs to be taught to take responsibility for his actions and not to pass the buck to someone else just to save his wrong ass.
He needs to be taught respect so he knows when he is respected and how to respect others.

It’s the simple things that make a male a man and a female a woman and not what society wants you to believe.
Kids have to be taught to think for themselves and not to live by the thoughts of others.
They should always question what people tell them, even their parents otherwise how would they think for themselves when the time comes.

It doesn’t; take an act of bravery to make a boy a man; it takes the ability to do what is right when the time comes no matter what it is as long as its their decision and the can do it without a conscience.

People cry because they feel their pain and the pain of others and has nothing to do with if they are a man/woman.
I hope the kid grows up one day and learns to think for himself then when the time comes he can pick up his crying child and tell him he loves the child and not to be what they are not old enough to be yet.
That would make him a man in my book.

These are my opinions.

Have a nice day



Dotm said...

Some parents worry me. Years ago ,shortly after our marriage, we rented an apartment near where I watched a small child fall out an upstairs window. Luckily I don`t think he was seriously injured as he was able to get up and head for his mother. The childs mother was standing in front of their apartment chatting with another neighbor. When the little boy ran crying to his mother, she just yelled at him saying " Get in the house. I told you to stay upstairs." I walked up to her telling her she should check to see if he was ok as he just fell out your open upstairs window. Instead of checking her son, she just told me that he wouldn`t have fallen if he had stayed away from the window. Then she sent the little boy back into the house. He was crying so hard and his mother just didn`t care. What makes people like that? Why are they allowed to have children when some who would be great parents can`t have them. Parents like that may be adults by age, but they surely aren`t what I would consider a grown-up. If someone told me my child just fell out an upstairs window, you can bet I would be checking him all over to be sure he was ok. I never would have sent him back upstairs alone, but I also wouldn`t have left a window wide open so the child could fall out in the first place.

Anonymous said...


Gypsy said...

Bravo Walker, a fantastic post. Personally a man who cries has my total respect because they are demonstrating a rare human quality - compassion. The message that man gave his son was that he should suppress his urge to cry as it made him less of a person/man. I can just imagine in 20 years time he will be yet another male who is unable to express his feelings because life has taught them not to. Very sad.

Walker said...

Dotm: I agree, some people should never be parents.
I know some woment who have kids so that they could get more welfare and not have to work.
I know other single mothers who workthemselves almost to death to feed their kids and not take handouts.
I think it has a lot to do with how you are raised.

Some men rather go through life having kids with as many women as they can to spread their dead beat seed all over the place.
Maybe they think thats what being a man is.

Its crap like thios that makes the whole look bad when in fact its a minority.

Walker said...

JYankee: Thanks :)

Walker said...

Gypsy: Don;t be fooled, most men cry but they do it in private but what they dont; do to often is show their emotions and this makes them look insensitive.
That is because thats how they were raised, not to show their emotions in fear that it will be a sign of weakness.
Thats a load of crock in you ask me.

I have seen grown men, bikers bawl like babies when putting one of their own in the ground.

Anonymous Boxer said...

I asked a male friend once why he didn't cry and he said he was afraid if he started... he'd never start. It made me feel sad for him. Crying is a physical release of emotions.. we have tear ducts for a reason.

Nice Post.

Holties House said...

Good stuff Walker, were you perhaps one of the Greek philosophers in a past life?????

patti_cake said...

I agree with you Walker, compassion would have been so much more beneficial to the poor child. I am horrified at Dotm's story. That bitch didn't deserve to have a child!

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer: Crying is a tension realease.
It makes you feel good when you are done and all your frustrations are released instead of stored and maybe later lashed out in the form of physical anger.

I think many men would fear starting because they would never stop.

Walker said...

Holties House : Me, a philosipher in a past life?
NOOOOOOOOO, I was the guy drunk on Ouzo trying to talk the maid into the back room LOL

Walker said...

patti_cake : Yes Dom's story is horrible but if you stop and think, you would find that 's not to uncommon.
How many drug addicted parents leafve their kids alone so they could go get more ir get so high their kids are just there alone while momma is wasted on the couch oblivious to the house burning down around her.

The world is slipping in the wrong direction.

gab said...

Unfortunally some people were not meant to be parents.
I feel bad for the child as it only gets worse from here on in. If a dad doesnt show love or concern for the child when he is small then the child could grow up not knowing how to love his own sons.

Walker said...

gab: True and worse he might lash out against it.
Kids grow up to be adults and they will treat everyone along the same lines including their partners.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I loved this post Walker...right on!! If more people thought like you do about what it takes to be a man or a woman, the world would be a much kinder, saner place!

BikerCandy said...

After having just returned from Vegas I'm just amazed at some "parents" and I use that term loosely. This post was very insightful and I totally agree with everything you said. Right on Walker!