Confusing Days ©

It’s been an interesting three, four days.
Filled with thoughts, emotions and just plain confusion, lots of confusion.
I am having a hard time digesting a lot of it.
In a lot of ways it’s a good thing but being the cautious person that I am and knowing whom I am dealing with contributes to that.
Or maybe I’m analysing everything too much.

I try and be as honest as I possibly can.
I’m not perfect, I have never claimed I was but when it comes to serious matters I am a serious person and I am honest when I deal with those issues.

Today I get a phone call at ten in the morning and my brother tells me to get out of bed and shower because he was bringing my youngest daughter to see me.
I lay in bed thinking.

I haven’t seen my daughters in over seven years now thanks to my EX.
It’s a long, long story but I did have visitation rights every second week and at one stage could have had her arrested but it was my decision to make and I made it.
I spent years and a small fortune getting those rights, not to mention having to do some other stuff required of me by the courts.
Like peeing in a cup for 52 weeks straight and see a shrink for a mental evaluation.
For two years I went through the courts and my kids were dragged through as well.
In the end I got what I should have had but she skipped town.

I did track her down six months later and took her back to court for another year only to get what I had been ordered to have from the last time.
That lasted a few years until she disappeared again with the kids.
There is some stuff missing in between the lines but the subject is private but it was because I said no to an offer she made.
The punishment was not being allowed to see my kids.

A number of years ago I managed to track her down again but instead of hauling her ass into court again I decided to do nothing.
When I thought back to all the trouble I had gone through and not only in the courts.
Four guys met em in the parking lot one afternoon, her Bill’s relatives.
They told the police they only wanted to talk.
When I see four guys I don’t know making a bee line straight at me in a wide open parking lot, I don’t have time to chit chat while I could knock one or two down before they finish a sentence.
Or when the cops showed up to arresting for trying to break into their house in the middle of the night.
Only problem was I was at the Police fundraiser and won the bowling tournament.
She set me up once and was almost beaten to death by the cops.
Thousands of dollars damage, four cops went to the hospital and me with 19 charges and a cracked skull.
You should have seen how mad the cops were when they found out they were dooped.
Like I give a fuck if they were tricked, I was beaten half to death.

So having all of this rattling around in my head I decided to leave them be but just keep track of how the kids are doing through friends the EX didn’t know I had.
I didn’t want to drag my kids through the courts again disrupting their lives and in the end only have the EX disappear again.
This way I at least knew they were ok.

Well as luck would have it my brother was watching his stepdaughter on the computer and asked her what she was doing.
She showed him and told him that everyone was on this new site.
Being curious he typed in my daughters name and found it.
He called me right away to tell me what I already knew.
I told him to leave it alone but he didn’t listen to me.
Over the next couple of days he investigated and connived information from one place or the other and this morning I get the phone call.

It’s not like I don’t want to see my kids or that I am afraid of my EX but I have to look at the consequences especially when my family is involved with an unpredictable EX.
I got out of bed; he had told me they were fifteen minutes away.
Not much time to shower, shave and get ready.

The last time I saw her she was almost eight years old and sprout that used to dress Frick in a cabbage patch doll dress then run around the house with the strolling and Frick in it.
I wonder if Frick remembers her?

The phone ran about half an hour later and it was my parents to tell me that she was there and to go next door.
I was nervous to say the least.
It’s not like I was walking into a knife fight, that’s a piece of cake compared to this.

I walked into the door and my eyes picked out every person and put a name to each one except the one sitting at the end of the table in my normal chair.
I am ashamed to say I wouldn’t have recognized her is I saw her on the street.
She is almost as tall as I am at six feet tall and she has this big beautiful face crowned with blue hair.
Yup, from golden blond to blue but that’s cool.

My parents were happy as hell and beaming.
I talked to her a little bit but my brother and SIL were hogging most of the conversations and things were looking good until I asked a question.
That’s when I quickly became uncomfortable.
It seems my EX didn’t know she was here and assumed she was in school.

It seems that my daughter got back to my brother and asked to meet him without telling her mother any of this.
My brother being who he is went and picked her up and brought her over.

As a parent I don’t approve of this and I told her them and my parents in all the languages concerned that I wanted my EX to know she was here and I didn’t make it a request.
I do believe I was stern enough.
I know the headaches I have had in the past but then again they didn’t have to go through the courts, I did.

I ordered some pizza for lunch then I went next door to my place for a little while to talk but it wasn’t long because my brother and SIL had to show up.
I did get a little private time and we talked a little.
I did tell her she was welcome to come by or call me any time, as was her sister before the other showed up.

After that they took her shopping at the local mall where they stocked her up with goodies before the brought her back here.
I think everyone slipped her a wad of money to which I don’t agree with.
I did give her some money and a bunch of movie passes I had here for her to use but I don’t want her to get used to it.
I don’t want her to come here for money but because she wants to see us and to meet the rest of her family.
Again, maybe I am over reacting but I am tired of fighting all the time and just want things normal for a change.
My family is no picnic and demanding who see what they want and what is right.
My Ex, nothing would surprise me that she does and I don’t know how this will play out by the end of the day.
My eldest has said she wants nothing to do with us and I respect that.
We all have the right to say yes or no.

All of this is still fresh in my head and heart and don’t know how to digest it yet, I guess I will have to wait and see what comes out the other end.
I know this is making my parents happy and I want it to work out for all concerned but I will have to keep a close eye on it all to make sure everyone is playing fare for the right reasons.

It was nice seeing her again

Have a nice day

Walker