blue moon (2)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Cover Charge To Heaven ©

So are you all relaxed after that long weekend?
I am, in fact I feel pretty good despite that I am falling to pieces.
I figure as long as they don’t roll to far away from my body I can always Crazy Glue them back on.

So with a breath of fresh life in me and a glass of tequila, I think I am ready to bite out a nice big fucken chunk out of something.

What should I have for lunch today?
So many items on the menu to choose from.

Politics, we have municipal elections coming up today and we are voting in a referendum.
I have no idea what it’s about be we are making history I hear.
They say it will be the first referendum in our lifetime.
I say it’s a trick but I can’t prove it because I have no freaking idea what the fuck I am voting on.
I think it’s about the way we vote.
What’s the big deal about the way we vote, everyone who goes to vote knows who he vote, everyone can see the coin being tossed into the air, that’s why they don’t have roofs on voting booths here.
The winner is usually the queen or the loonie, what a choice.
And it usually is that way to.
If the conservatives win, they are historically pro royalty and if the liberals win, well they are usually loonie ha ha ha
The phone has been ringing off the hook with people calling to ask if you are going to vote for their candidate.
I feel so sorry for them I tell them yes so they feel good.
The only people that didn’t call were the marijuana party.
They’re to stoned to get off of the couch.

I could go on a bender about the weather, which is like a yo-yo.
Hot and cold
Give me a break and snow already so I know what to expect.

Naw I think I will just dance all over the Catholic Church today.
Yeah that’s it.
Specifically Notre Dame Cathedral in Montreal who has finally understood the POWER of the dollar and has RISEN to the heavens with its blatant display of capitalism.
Hell if Oral Roberts can climb the a high pulpit and look down on his loyal masses and proclaim that god will scoop him off the face of the earth and hurl him to the heavens if he doesn’t get millions of dollars then why shouldn’t the pope charge admission to go into one of his churches?
That’s right, charge admission to go to church, four dollars to be exact.
What, the donation box isn’t working any more?
What are next, crucifixions if you don’t come for confession, there will probably be a thirty dollars charge for that?

“I’m sorry father I only have twenty dollars”.
“Well my son, I can only forgive you for sleeping with your neighbour’s wife but for sleeping with her husband you can’t be forgiven unless you find ten more bucks or you give me his phone number”.

It’s no secret that I am not very religious but I believe in religion as a way for people to find some sort of solace and maybe a little sense of direction but to fucken charge people to go to a church is fucken outrageous.
What are you telling the people that are to broke to go to church?
What if you have 6 kids and a wife, that’s fucken thirty-two bucks a week if you go regular.
Fuck absolution and a stairway to heaven, you need a raise so you can pay for admission through the pearly gates.

The last time I paid a cover charge to get into someplace I was walking into a strip club.
Now if they had stripping Nuns, well I am sure I can be lured to part with me money but do you think nuns would be willing to show some skin for the cause.
Maybe we should take to the streets and ask a few of them to see.

Excuse me Sisters do you think I can ask you a question?

Would you be willing to show some skin for the church?

I guess that answers my question.

From the time I was a kid I had Christianity beaten into me, they called me Runner back then, especially with my father chasing me with his belt.
Sunday school, Greek school, lords prayer every morning at school but no one ever asked me is I wanted to be a Christian or to have it beaten into me but all those Sunday school classes did teach me more than just how accurate my father was with a belt, I also learned about the basics of the church and one of them was that the door to God’s house was always open and NOT for a four fucken dollar cover charge.
WTF is that shit all about?

The church reeks of money and now they are charging people to attend and they wonder why attendance is down.
While people go out to pray to the all mighty God, the church prays to the all mighty Dollar.

They argue that they need the extra revenue for the upkeep of the billion-dollar cathedrals they own.
Who the fuck told you to build the fucken thing in the first place and why is it so damn big for?
What, I didn’t hear you?
No no no…… a little louder.
OH……… so you can get more people in, I see.
When Jesus said the world was his church he didn’t want you to build a fucken monstrosity to cover the world and the beauty he was looking at with his own eyes when he gazed around him, then you fill it full of idols, how different is that from what he fought against.

At four bucks a head your going to get a lot of rich people in that’s for fucken sure, the poor people might as well become Buddhists, that’s free at least, besides rice tastes better than those stupid little wafers you use now.
What happened to the bread and wine in the cup, at least you got a buzz and a better chance of talking to God.

For me this is insulting, even though I don’t go to church that often I understand that churches need money to operate but when you see some of the structures that exist all over the world that are owned by various religions which have been paid for by the poor of the world, people who have very little giving to those who have so much it makes me ask why and when will they give it back to the people?
Shouldn’t the priest be living as well as the poorest member of his congregation?

When you sit in the pews and they pass the plate around, have you ever seen the priest take out his wallet and put in a couple of bucks, after all he is being paid to be there?
I know a couple of priests who make a couple of hundred thousand a year between tips and pay.
Imagine, a priest getting a tip, “Thank you father for blessing my lottery ticket, here’s fifty bucks, buy the wife and girlfriend some flowers”.

Shit like this pisses me off.
Like I said I am not religious, I don’t believe in God.
I believe in Jesus Christ, as a person who existed.
I respect what he did and his compassion for his fellow man.
That’s my belief, my form of Christianity and I am not alone.

To see what he accomplished and paid for with his life crapped on by some greedy old religious capitalists just cranks my brain.
Jesus walked on water, I want to see the pope give it a go or our Arch bishop.
They'd sink to the bottom weighed down with all the gold they wear.

Every picture we see of Jesus, he is wearing a plain garment.
The pope dresses like a Harlem pimp.
Fuck, might as well have nuns stripping in the churches then, the cover charge would be worth it.

The house of the saviour is quickly becoming the house of shame.

Church is for everyone who wishes to express their faith and should not have to pay to walk into the house of God.
These are just my opinions.

Coming to a church near you.

Have a nice day



nachtwache said...

I read a book on the Christian Church in Rome, from the start through the ages, how the Catholic church became corrupted. When the Romans were killing the Christians, only those that truly felt called to it, would accept leadership of the Roman Christians, they didn't live very long. When Alexander the great saw a cross in the sky and heard a voice say:" By this sign you'll be victorious". He met with the leader of the church, he later accepted the Christian religion as the state religion, gave the church money and buildings and the leader became respected and powerful. Now every opportunist wanted to become Pope. That's when the corruption started.
They used to forgive your sins if you paid a certain amount. In Switzerland, if you're registered as a catholic or protestant, the government takes 10% of your income to give to your denomination.
You're correct, each person decides on their own what they believe. Nobody can make you a Christian except if you decide it yourself.

BikerCandy said...

Man Walker, I can't believe they charge people to go to church. If I was a member of that church I would be changing religions on that basis alone. Preach on brother!

Anonymous said...

From Runner to Walker---wonder what the next 20 years they might be calling you? :)

Now let me see if I understand ---$4.00 for going to church what would I get for that----music, preaching---maybe if I'm lucky----when I go to a movie it cost me a lot more to get in----and then Ipay for my popcorn, and drink but I don't leave feeling cheated either---

Hmmm anyone ever referred to you as the Brother efore---I know of a few things you have been called---

So how did you vote today----left, rigt, liberale, moderate, conserative, northe, south, red blue, yes, or no---it all confuses me---I'm thinking I'll vote---black, female, white. same, change-who knows what our next big one.

Gypsy said...

Jesus Christ on a bicycle....that was one of your funniest posts yet. I can't even pinpoint the parts that made me laugh because it was all hilarious. I did love the part about the Pope being dressed like a harlem pimp though any devout Catholics reading this would probably like to lynch you for that one.

Now Walker (will you soon be Crawler?) come on over to my little Gypsy caravan because I have something for you.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Walker - go over! She left presents for us.

BTW - clearly, the time off has fed your funny bone.

P.S. You're SO going to Hell, Sir. I'll see you there.

Peter said...

C'mon Walker, stop pussyfootin' around and tell us what you really think.

Blazngfyre said...

I don't know what the Nuns in YOUR church look like, but there is NO WAY IN HELL i'd want see the ones that beat the bible, er, I mean TAUGHT the bible to me naked!
I'll pay them to keep their habits ON!

As far as religion goes, I stopped believing in God years ago. I do believe in Jesus, as MAN.

The pope as a Harlem Pimp ... lol

Anonymous said...

way to go walker. I fully agree, we shouldn't have to pay to enter a church. whether it be to attend mass or just to see the inside. that is downright ludicrous!!
one of your troopers

patti_cake said...

No way should admission be charged to go to charge. It's just.. wrong.

Gypsy said...

Red Clay...Red Clay...Red Clay

gab said...

Ahhh dont get me started with the church. I will say this though..when we did go they actually sent us a bill of all the work that needed to be done then enclosed what we had been giving a month and a note saying we were behind in our giving! WT!!!!!!!!!(I wont say it here,you know what Im thinking)
My thinking has swung this way and that way and now I really dont know where I stand. What confused me the most was right after my grandmother died and I found out that she was Catholic. When I asked my mom she said oh yes thats the way we were all brought up. I asked her how come ever since I could remember she told me we were methodist and not catholic? She told me about some insodent that happened with my grandfather and the church. As I child I remember my mom bad mouthing the catholic chruch many many times. So confused? Yes I am. I dont have an idenity with the church.

Nan said...

Finally getting around to everyone. Lots to catch up on.

Blazngfyre said...

I'm following Gypsies lead.

Red Clay ... Red Clay ... Red Clay

Josie Two Shoes said...

PLEASE tell me that they aren't really charging their parishoners to attend services in the church? That's insane! And it's just one more reason why I shun churches. Church was never intended to be a building, it was supposed to be a community of believers. The way that organized religions have bastardized the simple beauty of faith sickens me.

Dotm said...

My Mother had us in Sunday School as soon as we were big enough to attend regular school. Then when I grew older I attended church with her- Methodist. She was a strict church goer all her life till about the last 5 years. She had pledged a certain amount every year and never missed a payment, plus put money in the Church platter on Sundays. Then came the year when they sent her a request for even more money. That did it for her. After that she felt the Pastor was more for money than for his parishoners. They never got any more money from her after that. She was in her 80`s when she got discusted and stopped going or giving them money. She remained a believer, just not in what she felt was a money grabbing Church.
What ever happened to freedom of Religion-- guess we need to go back on the mountain top to Pray instead of in the church.
How can the church help the poor and needy if they need money to attend the Church?