blue moon (2)

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I don't have a name for this post, hmmm ©

I’m in a fun mood and I have some fun music for you if you like and may be even a fun post for you to read so why don’t you kick off your shoes and shake a little booty and laugh a little.

Life has this way to make you laugh when you least expect it like having to do work you know little about with a 78 year old man who knows absolutely nothing about it, standing behind you telling you that you are doing it wrong.
The same man that thought that the Euro went up to 35 dollars American.
What was that?
How many fucken Euros do we have?
He totally didn’t see the 1. infront of the 35.
I was almost living in a freaking mansion.

Or a 79 year old woman who looks like she is deathly ill until you tell her you’re going shopping and she could come along if she likes only to find her at the car door before you finish asking.
I want her tested for steroids.

Shopping with my parents is different experience.
When I go with my mother, she is like Mario Andretti flying around the store up and down the isles with her tits hooked over the handle of the cart as if she was strapped in tight to a formula one car.

My father, he is totally different, he wanders around the store leaving his fingerprints on everything they have for sale.
Sometimes he stops and picks up a sweater and presses it up to his chest and looks into the mirror to see how it looks on him then when he looks at the price he quickly folds it up and puts it back on the rack and walks away.

My parents shopping together, well that’s a totally different matter.
My mother goes shopping and buys what she needs.
My father goes shopping and looks at all the prices but only buys if he thinks it a cheap price.
My father usually is pushing the cart while my mother is loading it.
Behind her, he is checking the prices as the items are falling into the cart.
By the time they reach the cash the only thing in the cart is the no name aspirin and a good thing to because they usually need it by the time they get home.

Family, don’t you love em?
Even when you hate them you got to love em.
After doing a bit of thinking I have decided my family gives me nothing but pleasure.
When they do things for me I feel good about it, even when my brother does shit for me it feels good.
Him reminding me all the time is a pain in the ass though.
“Hey Walker it’s your turn to buy the beer, I bought last”.
Yeah in 2003.
Even when they get me pissed off I get pleasure.
Pleasure in coming here and blogging about it ha ha ha.
Family, what a great source of blogging material.

It doesn’t have to be direct family either.
The other day I bumped into my cousin and we sat to talk for a bit.
It seems she is mad at her brother’s fiancé and they aren’t really talking.
She said she doesn’t like her and doesn’t want her brother to marry her.
I wanted to smack her in the head.
Why didn’t she say this before I went out and bought almost five hundred dollars in engagement gifts?

Anyway, she said that the future SIL went to her blog and told her as anonymous that she was fat and wore old dirty clothes.
Then she asks me what did I think of that?

What to do?
I don’t want to get involved into another family feud; I am tired of all of this.

So, ummm, what’s a blog? (Walker in Italic)
What do you mean what’s a blog?
A blog is a blog.
Like a chat room?
No, it’s someplace you go to and write down for people to read.
Yeah, a chat room.
It’s not a chat room it’s like a place you go to and write down whatever you want and people read what you wrote then leave you comments.
I don’t know, it sounds alot like a chat room to me.
No not like a chat room.
A chat room you talk to people and they answer you right away.
On a blog you might not get a comment for a week or two.

A WEEK OR TWO!!! Um I mean, a week or two sounds like a long time to wait for a reply.
Chat rooms are faster and better I think.
No blogging is fun you make friends and talk to each other through your blogs.
You just said you wait two weeks for a comment, how good are these friendships.
I talk more to the letter carrier than you do to your blog friends.

No no we talk on Yahoo.
Yahoo, what’s that, an insane asylum?
You don’t know what Yahoo is?
I thought you had a computer, what do you do on it.

Download porn like everyone else.
You're sick.
I’m sick, you’re the one waiting next to a computer for two weeks for someone to say hi to you.
At least I get instant satisfaction.

So, how does this blogging work?
Well you log in to Myspace and you write a post.
You have a place with a post that you write on?
No, I go to Myspace, which is a service that let’s you write on their site.
Oh I think I understand.
You go to a website and you have your own password to let you into their site.
Yes that’s it.
It’s just like those free porn sites you go to, you got to log in first.
No it’s not like the porn sites.
You go to porn sites to?
But you just said it's not the same, so you must have been there to know.
Oh, forget it.

What do you write about?
What ever I want?
Yeah like what though?
I write about my day and things that happen in my life.
Huh I see, and they come and leave comments every two weeks, oooooook.

You should try it.
Who me, nooooooo, I wouldn’t have anything to say.
It’s easy and fun and people will leave you a comment and you will be happy.
Yeah, every two weeks I could look forward to being happy.
No, I don’t know anything I could write about.
I have a boring life and who would want to hear any of that shit.

You could talk about when you were a kid or what is happening in your life right now.
There are lots of things you could write about.
You could write poems.

What, poems?!
Do I look like a poem kind of guy to you?
Lots of people write poetry?
You must know some poetry.
Well, one I think. Umm Twinkle Twinkle little star…
That’s a song not a poem
Well it rhymes, it’s a poem.
No it’s NOT, it’s a song.

It’s obvious you can’t write poetry.
Yeah, I’m screwed……..wait, can I write about sex?
Er umm, yeah I guess you can.
Hmmmm, maybe I can do that, write about some of my fantasies.
Well you go ahead but I’m not reading your blog.
I didn’t ask you, Hmmmmm.
So how do I get to Yourspace again?
No, it’s

Oh look I have to be going, say hi to your parents for me.

Don’t you love family?

Have a nice day.



Peter said...

Hi Walker, families, who'd have one??? well I guess we all would even though they drive us nuts at times, but hey I'm not gonna try to explain blogging to them... or anyone else who isn't wholly receptive.

Gypsy said...

Oohh Walker, you are just plain mean :) If only your cousin knew she would string you up by... well never mind, she would be mad as hell though. Its good to hear you sounding happy. That made me smile too :)

Lora_3 said...

You don't have the Hots for the SIL do ya? Oh Please tell me no. Maybe you just have too much testosterone.

Are you wishing I'd go work and quit reading your blog? LOL

Be safe...

Anonymous Boxer said...

Hello Walker - Happy Saturday. Loved your latest installment.

meinallmyglory said...

lmao.people are fuking pulled a good one on her.some people cant take a joke but you are hysterical.

gab said...

yes families are a trial alright. Mine I take or leave mainly leave! LOL

You talked about your mom's ummm your mom's tits? :O

Have a good weekend!

nachtwache said...

I take it your family doesn't read your blog? Mine in Europe reads my blog, my hubby and our daughter read it too, it's a good thing too, that stops me from writing things when I'm hopping mad and I might regret. Even so, hubby can't believe some stuff I write, as in embarrassing medical stuff. I try to keep it tasteful, but I guess there are different views on what's tasteful :) I don't have problems talking about pretty much anything openly, it's all a part of life.
Your family is quite entertaining, the way you write about them is in any case.

Dotm said...

Life would be quite empty without my family and other relations. Even when one is mad at another member, if the other member was in need, the angry member would put their feelings aside and rush to help.
I`ve noticed a lot of that also in your posts.

PBS said...

I agree with ya, families supply the best blogging material! And why do people think blogging is like a chat room? I get that too, from my family and friends. Except I don't want them to read my blog--because I write about them on it!

patti_cake said...

What do they say, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family!
Your parents crack me up. That is me and Stacy in 30 some years!
I am amazed by the number of people I know who don't know what a blog is!

Blazngfyre said...

How BRILLIANT that was!

My family reads my blog, but they don't "get it".

Honest to god.

Susan said...

That was great. Oh how you can take the ordinary and make it funny. What a talent.
I now have the burning image of your mum and the shopping cart etched into my mind. Who referes to their own moms boobs as tits but you! LOL!!!
I thought I saw you in Vancouver yesterday!