Near Misses ©

Let's see, what should I post about.
A Sex Talk........ maybe......I feel like talking about pussy.... naw, that's not true.
I feel like eating pussy.
OH NO not you Emme.
Damn, I scared the cat away again.
Maybe that's why Emme has lost so much weight lately , I keep saying I want to eat pussy so much she doesn't want to look as plump as she used to.

I think tomorrow we will be done at my mother’s house and then the work starts on mine next week, which means I may become scarce.
After seeing the work done next door I have started packing things away so I don’t end up with more work for my trouble than I bargained for.
To say it was smooth sailing next door would be a joke in the making.
The inside of the house looks like it went through a gun fight with all the holes in the walls throughout and all my brother says to my parents is that he will fix them but you could see the doubt in their faces , there are that many holes and not little ones, BIG gapping wounds.
Making those holes was necessary so that they could get all the new wires through and to remove the existing wires, not to mention they needed to find where the old wire were going.
Throwing in the fact that our walls are eight inches thick because they had plaster and ribbing which was later covered with drywall, it makes it hard to break through but does create clouds of dust.
Another problem was because the walls were so thick the drill bits were to short to go all the way through the walls and upstairs so what they did was drill up and then go from upstairs and drilled down hoping to hit the hole they drilled up.

Most times they miss making them try and try and try again, my parent’s walls and floors look like Swiss cheese but they don’t know it and I am not going to be the one to tell them either, they shoot the messenger first you know.
After a couple of days of trial error and holey hell, my brother went out and bought this special drill bit that’s 5 feet long and flexible so that they could be more efficient at drilling in the right spot.
Hmmm, who said they were efficient to begin with?

The first hole he drilled with this monster went well, straight up between the walls to the first floor.
After he went to the first floor and started drilling up and all of a sudden he got jammed and couldn’t go up or pull the bit back down.
After ten minutes of tugging, pushing drilling front and back we went upstairs and looked into the hole that was cut into the wall to see if the bit was anywhere in sight but we couldn’t see the drill bit at all and we should have.
It was three feet up and the floor was only a foot and a half thick so it should be right there in front of the hole in the wall.

I stuck my arm in and didn’t feel a thing, we went back downstairs where my brother turned the drill on once more to try to loosen it up but it was stuck there really good.
He said that it felt like it was stuck in some rags.
Rags, why the fuck would they put rags between the walls back when they built this house but you know, nothing would surprise me after what I have seen in these walls already.
This time I told him I would go upstairs then he could turn the drill on so I can hear where it was inside the wall.
When I got into place I told him to start it up and as the drill was labouring away I could hear the drill in front of me behind the wall but the funny thing was that it sounded like it was higher than where I was looking but I still couldn’t see it and I should have at least seen the shaft as it went by the hole.

I touched the wall and I couldn’t feel a thing and I should have been able to feel the vibrations at least with the drill bit spinning.
Weird I thought so I got up to go into the bedroom and the other side of the wall to see if I could feel anything from that side of the wall.
In the bedroom I bent down to look at the wall and that’s when I saw the drill bit and I can tell you this much, my brother was right, there were rags stalling the drill because he missed the wall and had drill up through the floor, the bottom of the dresser and was now waving my mother’s underwear around in the drawer.
I yell at him to stop and to come up stairs.
He looked at the drill bit going into the bottom of the dresser looked at me and asks what we were going to do.
Ha!!!!!!!
Run, run fast because “I’m telling mom”.
He almost croaked when I said it.

I pulled the drawer open a little and with my hand I unwrapped the bit’s head so he could pull it out.
As soon as it was out I opened the drawer more and we could see this one inch round hole on the bottom of it.
I took out the underwear that was wrapped around the bit head and looked at them.
I hope my mother likes crotchless underwear because she just got her first pair at eighty years of age to bad they were a gift from her youngest son.
I put them back in the drawer and patted down the carpet so it wouldn’t look like there was now a nice big hole in it.

He went back downstairs and drilled a new hole, which went where it was supposed to between the walls and not my mother’s panties.
After we had pulled the lines to the attic we went back downstairs, me on the first floor and my brother in the basement where I stood at the wall watching while he drilled a new hole up from the basement.
As I stood there staring at the hole in the wall for the drill bit to make it’s appearance this small Tee Pee started growing in the living room, it looked weird at first then funny when the drill bit popped out from the top of it, another hole in the carpet.
Did I mention my parents paid five grand to have this carpet installed in their house and here was my brother pumping holes in it.
He came up when I called him and the look on his face when his eyes caught sight of the drill sticking out of the carpet made me laugh so hard I almost swallowed my tongue.
I asked him why he didn’t measure the distance from the far wall and he said he did but he didn’t add the fucken thickness of the wall, so he came up 3 inches short thus adding more holes in the floor than a colony of mice would have.
This time I went to the basement and pulled out the drill and drilled a new hole, which went where, it was supposed to.

The drill bit is a lot of help but because it’s long and flexible it has a habit of wandering sometimes and goes where you least expect it (This is starting to sound like a Sex Talk Post) like when they drill down from the attic and into the washroom.
My brother was safely in the closet while the other guy was in the attic crawl space drilling down so they could run I wire for the bathroom light.
The guy upstairs was yelling down if it came threw yet and my brother told him no but that he would hear that it was closer and getting louder when the bit went through the closet ceiling and knocked the hat of my brothers head, a foot and a half from where it was supposed to come out.
It was a good thing my brother was in the washroom so he didn’t have far to go for the toilet.

Last night after dinner I wandered next door to see what they were up to because I could hear banging on the wall.
My brother was still at it alone with my father helping.
My old man has done a lot of work because of this work that’s being done, he is tired all the time and passes out asleep as soon as he sits in his chair.
They called me up to help them pass a wire down between the walls from the attic to the second floor.
My brother was in the attic, I was to feed the line up to him and he would in turn feed it downward to my father who was standing there waiting for it to come out of the hole.

So I start feeding up the line and my brother in dropping it down to my father.
My brother asks me if the old man has it yet, so I ask my father who says it hasn’t come out yet.
Telling this to my brother, he puts more line down the hole and I ask the old man again and he still said that no line has emerged yet for him to grab.
We had already fed about forty feet down the hole for it to go eight feet.
My brother kept dropping more line down the hole and just then my mother called up asking why there was wire all over the downstairs hallway.
I stopped what I was doing and went to see what she was talking about with my brother now behind me.

Do you know that look people get when they do something stupid and they know they did it and there are witnesses so denying it, is futile.
Yes you do.
We all have done it and more than once.
Well here is my father with that look on his face, standing there all red faced and embarrassed.

This is what happened.
My brother and I fed the wire through and my father was watching the WRONG hole as the wire came out where it was supposed to…..
At the bottom of the wall.
Not at the top where my father was looking.

The wire snaked out of the hole
Between his legs
Across the hallway
Through the banister and now was collecting on the hallway floor in front of my mother.
I think my mother laughed the hardest.

Next week they start here……..oi vay.


Have a nice weekend and remember if I am not around a lot in the next few weeks, it’s not because I don’t love yeah.

Walker