blue moon (2)

Monday, May 21, 2007

Hi ©

I better put something up here before you all think I fell off the side of the world or at least the ladder.
We started doing the electrical rewiring of my mother’s house and I bought a carpet for the back room so I could finish that and move all I want to move into it before I begin painting.
When that will be through depends on when we get the rewiring done here first.

To make matter worse I have had guests from out of town slowing me down and they don’t leave until it’s really late and I don’t feel like asking them to leave because they did come all this way to see me.
So how about I share with you a couple of quick tit bits from the weekend.

I had two friends here on Saturday catching up what they have been up to for the last six month when all of a sudden for some reason they started talking about religion specifically Christ.
A stoned Hindu and an Atheist talking about Jesus Christ, should be interesting.
The talk somehow turned to Jesus’ name and then they were arguing about Jesus’ last name, specifically what it was.

To be honest with you, I didn’t know then, as I don’t do now what Jesus ‘ last name was or if he had one.
I assume he had, or at least some reference to his lineage.
One said it was Jesus of Nazareth the other said why when he was born in Bethlehem.

That’s a good point.
Can you imagine if we all used where we were born from as our identification.
“Hi, I’m John from New York”, yeah, you and a million other Johns according to most hookers in New York.

Then the other one said his name was Jesus, son of Joseph.
That sounds ok I guess but it would really fuck up a lot of Mexicans because there are a lot of them called Jesus or Joseph down there.
That started a whole new debate about if Jesus was the Son of God then it should be Jesus, Son of God and not Joseph.

Me, I was sitting back having a nice glow drinking a beer when like on cue, they both looked at me and asked what Jesus’ last name was.
Who the hell am I, Mr Know it all?
This is what happens when you know a couple of trivia answers no one else does.

You have to understand, I’m tired, stoned and drinking beer.
I have had little sleep in two weeks because Emme has been sick so I could use sleep to
AND I didn’t want any part of this stupid conversation.
That’s what I was thinking what came out of my mouth was totally different.

I told them I would tell them Jesus’ last name for some pizza from my favourite pizzeria.
They asked me how could they be sure that I knew what his name was.
I told him all Canadians learn his name in grade one but since they were not born here they didn’t know.

It wasn’t hard to get them to agree to that since they both had the munchies by now and pizza was just what they needed too.
As we were eating pizza they asked again what Jesus’ last name was.
So I told them, it was “Murphy”.
One looked at me and said “Really”, “Jesus Murphy”.
Yup that’s it, now pass the pizza please.

My brother and this guy he found to do the wiring next door were at it All day Saturday will me running back and forth being gofer because I am not smart enough to do any of the thinking.
It seems a cable installer and a landscaper knows more about electricity than a computer technician.
They have been doing ok so far but they are doing the easy stuff first and saving the hard jobs for last but the other day in the kitchen they were changing the wall sockets.
On was in the basement pulling the wire and the other was upstairs undoing the wires from the outlet.
My parents sit on the couch stunned as they watch their house being dismantled by the landscaper and cable man.
My mother especially is frustrated because of the cleaning up she will have to do.
My father had to tear down the ceiling in the basement so they could get to the wires.

I was at the door watching as the one in the basement called up that the wire was stuck.
My brother said it was undone but the other had to come up to check.
After seeing my brother wasn’t lying he went back down and started pulling but it wasn’t giving an inch, so my brother went downstairs to show his strength but he to was held to a stand still.
They pranced up and down the stair looking and down the hole to se if they could see where it was snagged but couldn’t.
My brother told my parents they may have to break the wall.
My mother almost fainted and my father’s eyes were popping out of his head.
My brother went downstairs once more and this time they bother grab the wire and start pulling it while my parents and I had our eyes glued to the other end in the kitchen when all of a sudden there was this horrible tearing and snapping of wood shattering the silence in the kitchen.
My brother came upstairs and saw us staring at the fridge.
Dumb and dumber where pulling the wrong wire and were yanking on the one attached to the back of the fridge and pulled the WHOLE outlet through the wall.
The other wire was still lying there as before.
For the record, this is day 3 and it is expected to take a month to finish.

I won’t be around as much as I normally would because of what is going on but I will do my best to keep up with your lives and blogs as much as I can.

Have a nice day



Shaz said...

OMG Lmao, They settled for murphy??? that is too funny must be great pizza lol I am almost wetting myself at the look on everyones faces when Dumb and Dumber pull the fridge socket through the wall. You have to take 5mins just to fill us in onn the disasters that these two are getting up too. How funny and or terrifying at the thought of your brother being in control. Your poor mumma she needs to go away for at least a week and visit relatives cause thats just cruel making her sit back and watch the shamozzle unfold.
Be careful my friend they sound dangerous and I can see this as a cartoon series with fingers in sockets afros and blackened faces with ? marks over their heads. I wish I could draw. lmao

gab said...

Jesus had a last name? wow I just thought he was Jesus Christ(no pun intended!)
MAke sure you treat your mom to something special for all that she had to witness.

patti_cake said...

Your parents are going to regret this - or they already do.
Oy! Please don't snicker or laugh outright Walker. They might kill you!

Monica said...

I would think Jesus' last name given the fact that they had to go to Bethlehem for the count as declared by law would be the same as Joseph's.

Seeing as he was the absolute Coolest guy who ever walked the face of the earth, no wonder everyone talks about him...even those who profess disbelief.

Peter said...

Does the electricity supply come in lethal voltage in Canada Walker? it's hard to imagine these two surviving for that month if it does!!!

nachtwache said...

Murphy, huh? Did they actually belief that?? Jesus and his parents lived in Nazareth, King David was one of his ancestors. There where a lot less people around, surnames came into use later. In Europe, it would be Karl, the butcher, or Hermann, the farmer over the hill. That's how surnames came into being, by the trade you practiced or where you lived, or by your haircolour....
I agree, your mom should go on vacation, away from it all! If your bro fries himself, she won't be there to see it. That's what we did, hubby wanted to put in a new floor, I went to Switzerland while he did it.

Anonymous Boxer said...

A 4:20 friend. How nice.

Chaotic Serenity said...

LOL I learned about "Murphy" from Dad before I started grade one. Home schooling? LOL

Angel Without Wings said...

Hey Walker, I actually left a comment last night but it seems to have got lost in the ether.

You being the entertaining writer that you are, I think you should write a sitcom based on your family. You wouldn't even have to dream anything up, they provide you with all the material you could possibly need to keep going for at least 6 or 7 seasons. You could call it Everybody loves Walker, has a good ring to it don't you think?

You could make millions and retire in the Bahamas. Take your poor parents with you, I think they are going to need a good Therapist before this is over.

Vickie said...

Hmmm if they bought that story then now bout selling them that piece of land I got you know the one ---the beautiful island I have, I know Mikey will enjoy it---and with all the money he is making in the mines---hell it will solve a few of my problems---

About Dumb and Dumber well you need to be very careful cause a cat only has so nine lives and damn if you have not just about used yours up and you might have even borrowed a few---

Thanks for the laughs---and the chats as always---you are a special one. Take care my friend.

Whispering Hope said...

So, is anyone living in the dark yet? Oh my, this is gonna be one story once they're done and you're able to write. :)

Jac said...

Another 3 months...Man ! You must be joking.