Getting Some Head ©

Oh before I move into my post, if you like reading a creative writer and she is very talented I urge you to go read Lora's story she has on one of her blogs The Power Of L, I know many of you would love it, but scroll all the way to the bottom to start from the begining and you will be pleasantly entertained.


Friday there was a knock on the door and I went out there to find a box staring at me with two arms sticking out the sides of it, one holding a paper.
A voice from the back of of the box asked me to sign the paper and he gives me this huge box that I dragged in.
Hmm
I wasn’t expecting anything.
I kick it just in case there is a bomb in it and it explodes on me when I open it.
Rather it goes boom now and not ruin the surprise.

I walked into the living room and looked at who sent it Doug Cupper but I didn’t recognize the name.
Dropping it on the couch, I went back to the kitchen to work on my computer, which has been spread all over the kitchen table for a week now.
I have determined that all the part work but not together, sounds like some politicians I know.

Mike walked down from his lair and saw the box, how could he miss the sucker it was so big.
He walked up to it and asked whom it was from.
I told him I didn’t know.
He hit it to make sure there was no bomb in it then went and sat in Emme’s chair.
I think Emme’s got a crush on Mike, when she sees him walk in she squeals and gets up before he gets there so he can sit and she could lay on his lap.

After about half an hour and Mike’s constant hounding with Emme singing the chorus of meows, I decided to open the box.
Some people and cats have no patience.

I took the knife and went to living room to open it.
Kicking it once more to make sure I proceeded to cut away the tape.
It was full of white peanuts to protect the contents.
The first thing I found was a piece of paper.
On it said: A special gift from one of your Bond Girls ---- you figure which one.
HA the jokes on you, it was on the box its Doug Cupper.
Who the fuck is Doug Cupper?
Putting the paper aside I waded in and pulled out another box.
Inside was a mug of my mug.
It was a big mug shaped like Darth Vader’s head and holds more coffee than I drink in a year.



Here is a picture of it next to my regular mug.
I am not a big coffee drinker unless I am out and get the occasional mocha chino but hot chocolate; this will come in handy for that.
Putting that aside I look in and come out with yet another box this time, longer.
Hmmm
I open it up…….I stood there staring at it.
Taking it out of the box I held in my hand feeling its weight it’s nothing like what I am used do but it carried some weight to it.
Ever since I was a kid I always liked knives, specifically my buck knife.
I first got it when I was about twelve and would still have it if I hadn’t passed it over to some twit on a boat.
He said it was to deep for him to swim down to get it and Mike made me take the off from around his neck.
I still think the anchor would have got him down there fast enough for him to get the knife and put it in his pocket.
After that, well they all eventually floated to the surface and the knife would be in his pocket but noooooooooo Mike had to have his way.
Since then I have had a few and still have them and I even have a nice dagger that someone tried to mug me with one night while I was leaving the bar.
His leather jacket still fits well to.
Now if it had been only giving him my money I probably wouldn’t have taken the risk of hitting him because I don’t carry money, I use plastic but he asked for my wallet and in my wallet I have something I won’t loose.
No, not my driver’s license they take that away from me all the time and not my gun permit which reminds me I have to renew it so I can own a gun I don’t use or need.
All I have to do is trip an intruder and Emme will eat him as soon as he hits the floor.
Not my library card, health card, playmate key card or the picture of my daughters.
I can replace all of those but I have a condom in my wallet that’s been there for 6 years.
Do you know how long it takes to break in a good condom?
The thing has been half way around the world and back with me and is the most stable relationship I have had for a long time so NO ONE IS FUCKING WITH MY CONDOM BUT ME, GOT THAT?
Did I mention the leather jacket was black and soft like the inside of a woman’s thighs after a nice hot bath in bath oils?
Must be why I love wearing it so much.

I turn to Mike and ask him what he thinks.
He looked up and almost jumped out of the chair, WTF are you going to do with that’?
Its this really nice replica knife that is about two feet long and man does it look intimidating.



Here is a picture of it with a steak knife at the top to compare with.

It has no edge but just show it to someone and watch him run.
Funny huh, they confiscate my grits at the border but they let this Conan the barbarian toothpick across.

Now with the box empty I have to figure out who sent it because I don’t think it was dug in fact I had a good idea who it might be but I wasn’t really sure.So I went straight to the one I thought it was.

Hi, how are you today.
Great and you?
I’m still sick but I got a package in the mail today that made me feel better a bit.
Aw that’s nice, ummm who was it from?
One of the Bond Girls, Doug.
Huh, there is a Bond Girl called Doug?
Yup Doug Cupper and he is sending me mugs and lethal weapons.
Cool, what were they like?
Well the knife is more like a mid evil sword and the cup did look like Darth Vader’s head.
What do you mean, "did look like Darth Vader’s head"?
Well Mike picked it up and accidentally dropped it and it shattered into a million pieces.
WHAT!!!!!!!? Uhhhh …… really?
Yeah it was terrible, but don’t tell no one I don’t want to disappoint Doug.
Yeah…..ok….ummmm….tell Mike he’s dead.

I had a feeling I knew who it was because she had told me if I had my Christmas package yet and it seems they hadn’t sent it yet but I got it now.
I want to thank Ms Vickie one of my best and closest friends here.
Anyone would be lucky to have her call you friend.

I put the mug on the coffee table and went and put the sword on top of the bookcase next to where Mike sits.
He sat there watching me put it up there on the shaky stand it came with.
About an hour later Mike called me into the TV room.
Hey bud, this is freaking me out.
That mug looks like it’s staring at me all the time and the guillotine above my head looks like it’s ready to fall and lob my head off and send it rolling next to the mug for company.
I was nice and turned the mug to face the TV and moved the sword down a bit to ease his fears.
What are friends for?
But you know later when I look at the name on the box these gifts came in, the name "D. Cupper" would make a good Bond Girl name LOL

That’s it for me today and to those bugging me, Drs appointment is tomorrow at 1:15pm so STOP BUGGING ME NOW.

Have a nice day.

Walker