Weeks Ends ©

How was your weekend?
Mine was like being at the Academy Awards.
The lights were flashing along the runway, my date following me by my side every step of the way.
It was a weekend filled with frustration, elation, questions and tragedy.

Friday I decided it was time to start putting up the decorations.
I hauled out five tubs up from the basement and littered the hallway with them.
The cats were dancing around knowing very well what was in the container.
Their favorite toys that only come our once a year.
Boxes filled with shine balls and cat floss.
What’s cat floss you ask.
Cat floss is when you cat runs by being trailed by tinsel and you decide to step on the spare tail only to watch it materialize to its eight foot length out of the cats butt.
That’s cat floss.

Anyway, I go back down and pull out the tree from is cubbyhole and drag that up the stairs and to the living room with Frick chasing the trailing tape.
That done I put it together and on the table in the corner where it will probably remain until I get my shit together to take it down.
That’s usually around Easter.
Now this is where it gets frustrating.
It took me four hours to finish the tree and that’s all I was doing.
I wasn’t cooking, blogging, watching TV or jerking off.
NO, I was setting up the tree and that’s it.
It was the fucken lights.
The guy that invented series lights was a sick sadistic fucker.
ONE burns out NONE work.
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I take the first string out and plug it into the extension cord, nothing.
Put it aside to deal with later and get another one.
Plug it in, nothing.
Crap
Next one, nothing again
Mike is laughing
This went on for EVERY SINGLE STRING OF LIGHTS!!!!!
I was freaking out now.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a Guinness and sat to ponder the next move.
Sitting there watching Emme play with the other end of the extension cord it came to me.
I kicked her in the butt and plugged the fucken thing in the wall.
DAMN CAT!!!!!!!!
An hour I was sitting there testing string after string and the cat had pulled the plug and was trying to eat it.
That’s it no pizza for Emme tonight.
Right, with the cord now firmly plugged into the wall and Emme exiled to her leather chair I started again.
First string…….. nothing shit.
Second string.......nothing.
Out of 8 strings of lights ONE worked and you know what that means don’t you?
I turn on the one that works and pull one off disabling the string but giving me a way to test bulbs.
One at a time I took a bulb off of the one that wasn’t working and plugging it into the one that was to see it would turn them on.
This went on for 3 Guinness’s or 2 hours but in the end I had 8 strings of working lights one that used to play music but had an accident.

The lights went on next, five strings; five hundred lights.
Then I started opening the tubs and pulling out the tree ornaments.
I have been collecting ornaments for 20 years now and every year around boxing day I pick up more during the sales so over the years I have accumulated a fair number of them.
I loose some to the cats so it balances out most years.
They break 10 I buy 50, I use the same system they use to calculate their age LOL
So I figure I have about 200 glass balls and 200 other ornaments on the tree right now and with the lights flashing its looks like thousands of lights when they reflect off of the ornaments.



So having set up the tree the doorbell rang and it’s the pizza I ordered.
Emme is dancing circles around my legs.
She knows it’s pizza and she loves the mozzarella cheese on it.
I put it on the table to cool and continue to pull stuff out of the tubs and try to figure out what this years plan will be.
I’m in the hallway when I hear that familiar crash.
You know the sound I am talking about, the one you only hear around Christmas, the sound of a glass ball landing on the floor.
I go to the room and on the floor is one of my oldest ornaments in a hundred pieces.
CATS!!
I look to the left and right off I knew who it wasn’t.



FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Hmmm, trying to pretend he was on the computer the whole time isn’t going to work, he doesn’t have the mouse in his paw.
Fine, I can’t prove it BUT one day I will catch him red pawed.

I have the rest of the house I am decorating to, well the downstairs anyway so when I am done I will post some pictures.
Now I didn’t spend my whole weekend with the tree, I did some wrapping and writing of cards, 32 so far.
Speaking of cards if there is someone who would like a Christmas card from Canada’s capital just send me a shout at walkerwalker@sympatico.ca and I would be more than happy to exchange one with you.
The cards will be mailed out this Wednsday.

Now do you see that picture down there?
The package standing on its end, well that’s this month’s box of chocolates going out to one of you who sent me their address.
I could give you a clue I guess but I won’t and don’t try zooming in.
I turned it around so no one could see the address, besides if you look closely you will see Santa and two of his reindeers guarding it.
The rest of this weekend will leak out of me during the week so until then.



Happy Shopping, I got to go to the post office and clear my couch but first I have to set up the small nativity scene under the tree……………
Hmmm
Where’s the small baby Jesus?

FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Walker