blue moon (2)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Boxing Day Shopping ©

Updated Below

I would like to thank all of you that went over to visit Skye and offer your condolences on the passing of her father.
Like I have said in the past, I have one of the best blog rolls in the blog world and it's only getting better.

Today was Boxing Day.
In Canada it’s the biggest shopping day of the year and not for the weak at heart I might add.
I decided that I needed new jeans because the ones I have now used to hold someone 70 pounds heavier and when the wind blows I look like I’m floating down the street in a hot air balloon in the ones.

I talked Mike into going with me.
He has never gone to a Boxing Day sale, which almost floored me; you get the best deals of the year today.
Up to 80% off on everything at many of the stores.
He says he never bothered to shop unless he needed something.
Well he needed something the other day and it was a jacket but he didn’t want to pay $400 for it.
I told him he would probably get it for half price today and that was enough incentive for him to go.
Now before we left I had to sit him down and explain a couple things about Boxing Day sales especially about how people act.
I told him that if he finds something he wants to never EVER put it down or it’s gone.
There is no complaining, it’s the spoils of WAR and shopping on Boxing Day IS war.
Next, if you see a little old lady going through stuff with her left hand while holding her purse with her right, go to another pile.
She is waiting for you, to mess you up something fierce.
She’ll put you in a drug-induced coma before you could blink.
She is actually right handed and holds the purse (loaded with every bottle of medication she takes) waiting for the chance to whack you in the side of the head with it then go through the deals you are holding for her pile.
So stay away from little old ladies.
If a cute chick comes up to you with half her tits hanging out and starts flirting, it’s a good bet her BF/husband is sneaking off with what you were looking at behind you.
Mike just laughed at me and said it couldn’t possible be that bad.
Poor guy, they’re going to eat him alive.

After my quick explanation of what to expect we took off for the mall.
The place was a mad house.
It took us 40 minutes to find a parking spot and when we got inside there had to be 50,000 people.
You couldn’t walk around without bumping into someone.
Mike went to the store he wanted to buy the coat at.
He was happy to see it for $180 dollars and started trying them on.
I did some browsing, I wanted to go to Sears to get what I came for, namely jeans.
After not seeing anything interesting I coasted back towards Mike, he whispered that a woman in the corner was staring at him.
I looked at her and told him she probably wanted something he had.
He laughed and said I was nuts.
He found the color and fit he wanted and then went to look for some sweaters.
I went to the shoe department and told Mike to meet me there.
They had some nice deals on running shoes but I could do better when the main supplier for the region puts their sale on next month.
Mike came over and told me he found some sweaters but had to go look at the coats again because someone took his when he was looking at sweaters.
So back we went to the coat department where I held onto his sweaters.
He found one but not the color the last one was and it pissed him off a bit.
We walked around looking at some of the other stuff on sale, well I did I think Mike was looking for that lady that was staring at him earlier to see if she had his coat.
After Mike paid we drove to Sears to look at what they had.

Sears was another madhouse.
I needed size 40 pants and I had a hell of a time finding any at that size.
Mike went to look for sweaters I think he has this thing with sweaters.
I asked a guy in the men’s department about jeans and the size I wanted and he took off and came back with a woman who works there also.
She asked me what I wanted and I told her Levis but I wanted a size 40.
They both dove in and started looking and she found me a pair of baggy ones.
I told her I wanted something that wasn’t baggy and I was on a quest to find my ass.
I told her I wanted a pair of jeans that came with a butt.
Another woman came that worked in that section and the first one told her they were looking for a pair of pants that would give me a butt.
We found a couple, of pairs and we all went to the fitting room where I tried them on
Then we all stood at the mirror looking at they way they fit but I didn’t like the pants.
The second woman asked me exactly what I wanted.
I told he I wanted jeans that were comfortable but fit like the ones the other lady wore.
“Now you see how these jeans give her a nice firm butt”.
So we all stared at the first ladies butt.
“Turn around” I asked her and she did
“Now see, this is a nice pair of jeans” I said, “The jeans gives her that nice fit”.
The other two were nodding while she was trying to look over her shoulder at her butt.
Mike came over at that time and asked what we were doing and I told him we were checking out the sales lady’s butt, so all five of us stood there staring at the woman’s butt for a bit while everyone walking but strained to look at what we were looking at.
Mike said “nice butt” we all agreed it was a nice butt then went to find me jeans like that.
We went to another part of the store and one of the ladies came over holding a pair of jeans and said, “Guess”
I said ” 38 C”
She stood there staring at me while the other two laughed, Mike was puzzled.
She said the jeans were made by “Guess”.
Oh……… well… um yes they were.
I didn’t like them though, they had no room for my balls and I kinda like having then down there for balance purposes.
It must have taken me an hour and a half but I found four pairs of jeans that fit like I like.
I thanked the girls and took off for the cash.
There must have been 50 people waiting in line.
Mike walked up to the counter and just leaned there waiting for me to get there and pay.
It must have been half an hour before I got there but while I was standing in line watching I saw Mike start fumbling into his pockets and then jump in front of some guy at the counter asking for the price of a pair of really nice leather gloves.
Mike ripped them out of the guy’s hands.
Mike had put his gloves on the counter while waiting for me and someone picked them up and was trying to buy them.

After that we went home and dropped in our chairs.
Mike loved the sales and said he would be ready for next year.
He sat there checking out his new jacket.
I ended up with four pairs of Levis red tabs for $109 instead of $360 so I’m happy and you know what?
I think I see a butt.

Mike: Hey, why is the zipper on this jacket on the other side?
Walker: Because it’s a girls Jacket.
Mike: WHAT?!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I know I could be mean sometimes
Ha Ha Ha

Update: Mike arrived home from his parent's place tonight and after a close examination of his new coat while he was there and a better unfrenzied look has revealed that YES, it is a woman's coat and I would like to congratulate my aunt on her new Christmas present.

See i wasn't being mean.
I was right LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Have a nice day



Peter said...

The stores here in Australia seem to mark down a few items to get the customers into the store but leave most stock at pretty much the normal price, not worth gettin' killed for!!!

Walker said...

Peter: It was a mad house. They use Boxing Day to dump the old stock to bring in the new and they put it all up for grabs in many stores.

Lora_3 said...

Hold the phone! Jeans are $80 bucks where you live? I have some Guess and Lucky jeans that were not cheat but no way am I paying $80 bucks for Levis.

Be safe...

patti_cake said...

Walker you do have a great Blogroll. I am so sorry for Skye's loss. I haven't been around these past days unfortunately so I missed that post.
I am SO laughing at your boxing day shopping exploits. Sounds like Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving here in America)! Poor poor Mike.....
For the record I LOVE a man in Levis esp. red tabs....!!!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You're a braver person than I am! I hate shopping even on a non-busy day!

Sure have missed visiting here...I'm currently using the free down-town wi-fi...I'm sitting on a park bench right now, enjoying the sunshine! :)

One Mother's Journey said...

LOL... well glad you found your ass. Most people spend time trying to hide theirs so it's refreshing to hear about one newly found.

I had a similar situation to Mike's with a coat. It ended up being a mans... I kept it. I guess it's a little more P.C. for a woman to have a mans coat than a man to have a womans.

Walker said...

Lora: 501s sell for $80 a pair here unless you get them on a sale and I wouldn't pay 80 bivckes for jeans either.
They had other omes that went as high as 200.
I wouldn't buy them if i was a millionair.

Walker said...

patti_cake: Its hard loosing a loved one on a holiday such as Christmas

I love the way they fit and they are even better when they are worn in.

My blog roll is full of real people.
Full of real laugher, pain, love and all the other makings of life.
What more can you ask for :)

Walker said...

Stacy: Well hello stranger.
You have been missed to but I know the problems wiht the IT people you have been having.

As long as I could dodge those blue haired demon shoppers I can rock, but fall into the wrong path and I can fall like a rck to LOl.

Walker said...

One Mother's Journey
; I have been looking for it for years.
I knew it was there, I just had tpo move that other stuff out of the way.

I dont think any guy wants to wear a womans coat and walk down the street,
Probably get his butt

Lynilu said...

Walker, I don't get around to your blog frequently. I want you to know it is not because I don't enjoy it, but many times I have trouble getting in, and then I just get locked up once I get in. I've considered that it is a trap you've set for unsuspecting females, but then I considered that I'm probably a bit old for you, so went back to my original gues of some strange incompatibility of blog and computer.

Your description of those sales is so good! Of course, in the US, we don't have Boxer's day, but the day after Christmas is equally insane here. It's usually worth it if you can stand up to the crowds, but unless I really, really need something I stay home!!

Glad you got your Levis. Wear in good health! Happy New Year!!!

Walker said...

Lynilu : Who's a bit to old?
I bet if you were to sit on my knee you could heat me up plenty "wink"

My blog is a little heavy for some computer or internet providers and I know you come by.
I sneak by your all the time to see what you're up to. :D