blue moon (2)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A Parent's Thoughts ©

All the news is GREAT news.
Kayla is out and doing great. Head over and read Susans post.
If you were here you would have felt the wind blow past you as I finaly exhailed.
What a Warrior!!!!!

This has been a very fast month for me with a lot to do and I haven’t even posted some of what I have been up to yet.
I was sitting down today talking to someone and was telling him about Kayla and was told that it was a sad thing to have happen to someone so young but outside of general concern he couldn’t understand how I and many others could become so emotional about someone I have not met or know.

Well, you see I have met her but her name wasn’t Kayla, it was Amanda, another time it was Susie, Thomas, and Johnny ………
The names are different but they are all kids and to me there is nothing that makes me weak at the knees more than seeing kids in pain or sick.
I have been reading about Kayla’s battle to fight off cancer with a relentless fury and determination that could only fill ones soul with pride, respect and sadness that one so young should have to stand alone against something so evil that it puts fear into most of us.

I woke up one night to the cries of my daughter Alex.
I could feel the heat coming of her body as a bent down to see what was the matter.
She was 7 at the time.
She was burning up, so I bundled her up and raced to the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario, CHEO for short.
My daughter was admitted and found to be dangerously close to dieing.
They submerged her into a tub filled with ice and water in and attempt to drop her temperature.
We spent 2 days there waiting for her to smile again.
At 6 my youngest Tina had her appendix burst.
We rushed her to the hospital when we saw her on the floor screaming like she was having her guts torn out.
The doctors did a great job in helping her get better.

While in the hospital waiting for my kids to be treated I looked around at the other kids and parents.
I was so …. Saddened to see such old eyes on so many young faces.
Then I look at the parents and see fear, despair, and a helplessness of not being able to do anything.
It's your duty to protect them and you feel like you have failed.
You want to fix it yourself and not have someone else do it.
This is your baby and there is nothing you could do but have to rely on strangers to save your precious.
My niece Amanda had us in this position recently.

Imagine sitting in that waiting room for hours staring at the door clutching a saliva covered germ infested stuffed toy, blanket she/he loves more than anything in the world, waiting for a green clad doctor to walk through and give you the news.
Will it be what you want to hear or your worse nightmare?
This is what it is to be a parent.
Helpless, lost in a scenario of possibilities with only one good outcome against the unspeakable.
How could something like this happen to someone so young so innocent, free of sin and full of laughter?
Many questions the answers are meaningless.
All you want is for it to be the way it was before the nightmare began.
I have met Johnny, Thomas, and Susie and yes Kayla.
I see them every time I look into the eyes of one of my own.

For today, my thoughts will be focused on one person, Kayla.



hellbunny said...

I think we all feel when someone is sick.I dont think it matters if we know them personally or not.Many times i read in the paper abouta childs death and i get upset even though i never knew them.

MysticSpirit (Sass) said...

I am covered in goosebumps, repeating in waves

you describe perfectly the thread that runs through each of us parent folks - "I see them every time I look into the eyes of one of my own"

amazing, thank you