Camp Fire Stories ©

Another year and another bbq has come and gone.
Like previous ones this one was a fun time and produced laughs, tears and memories.
I’m sitting here trying to find a way to write a post that has 100 stories and am stuck because of the multitude of emotions I saw and felt.

Let’s take a look at the guest list.
There were painters, lawyers, political aids, accountants, a producer for a national sports channel, a cashier from Wal-Mart, 2 retired chefs, a cleaner, a micro biologist, a millwright, telecommunication specialists, bank execs, an antique dealer, a car rental employee, bartenders…
As you can see there was a diverse crowd, just the way I like it because I find they share more while explaining what they do and the also see that they are all the same too.
As the sun started to set it took on a campfire atmosphere and the stories started coming out and we all shared.
Archie and I were cracking jokes and taking shots at each other most of the night causing people to spew their drunks through their nose sometimes only to create more laughs.
I will share with you now some of the stories that were passed around as best as I can recall them.
I guess since Archie was the heart of the bbq it’s only fair I start with him.

When I first got to Canada I was 10 and I went to school and I didn’t understand English so it was hard.
There were these other Greek kids and they used to help me understand.
There was this one time when we had to go outside and play baseball.
I had never played this before all we played in Greece was soccer.
John this Greek kid explains it to me.
He said you hit the ball and run to the pillow at the end of the white line.
So I went up to the plate and they gave me this fat stick.
The pitcher threw the ball and I hit it out of the yard and started to run.
As I got close to the pillow, John starts yelling at me to run home at the top of his voice.
So I get to the pillow and keep running as fast as I can.
I look behind me and everyone was yelling and shaking their hands at me.
This only made me run faster.
When I looked back I could see them now chasing me but I knew they wouldn’t catch me and kept on running.
When I got through the gate I ran for another 4 blocks until I got home and locked in the door.
My bother came to see who came in.
I lived with my older brother.
He asked me why I was home and I told him that they sent me home.
At that moment they doorbell rang and my brother opened it to a group of kids and a teacher.
After he was told what happened he smacked me in the head and sent me back
How was I supposed to know what home was.
John said run home so I did.


Archie.

I remember going into the cleaner’s office one day.
Jimmy and Angelo were there eating lunch.
I sat down with the sandwich and soup I bought from the cafeteria.
While sitting there they asked me how much I paid for my meal.
When I told them they told me that I was wasting my money and should just make a lunch and bring it home.
Of course they were right but I couldn’t be bothered doing that.
I asked them what they were eating and Jimmy said tuna sandwiches.
There was a great deal on tuna so he bought ten cans.
He fished one out of the drawer and tossed it to me.
I looked on the can and there was a picture of a cat.
I read on and it was cat food they were eating.
I didn’t know what to do.
I wanted to puke every time they took a bite and they had ten fucken cans of the stuff.
Not being able to watch them anymore I told them they were eating cat food.
They sat there looking at me.
He took the can and looked at it.
I asked him why they didn’t notice the cat on the label and he said that he just thought it was just like a decoration.


Mike


Since we are sitting here getting drunk I might as well tell about another time we had gone to a wedding in a small town fifty miles from home.
Personally I had never been there but this was a special weekend and that’s why they chose to get married here now.
The town was celebrating its 150th year and it was all decked out with flags and fresh paint on all the facades of the main street.
Going to the motel we had reserved months in advance we stowed our gear and went out to see the place a bit before we headed to the wedding.
It was a nice little town that had been invaded by thousands of people for the party the next day.
Going back to the motel, we changed and then we drove to the hall where the wedding ceremony was held and the dinner.
There were about 200 people out there already when we arrived.
The ceremony was great and the bride was beautiful even if the dress did make her look like a big marshmallow.
Oh she was slim, it was all the dress.
If she were to dance in the bridal suite peeling off layers it would have been the dance of the 147 veils rather than the 7.
Anyway we sat down and ate and the drinking started and the dancing.
I don’t know what happened or when but I woke up in the motel with the bride’s friend who I had to ask for her name.
I met Dave outside later and he looked just as bad as I did.
The three of us went to the restaurant where there were more living dead people having breakfast.
It must have been one hell of a night because I couldn’t remember anything.
As we were sitting there news was going around the room that someone had stolen the limo from the wedding and went for a joyride up and down the sidewalks of main street.
It seems one person was driving and another standing on the roof and they were taking all the flags off of the posts and sticking them in the limo.
The police later found the limo but not the flags.
Gezz what moron would steal flags?
We finished breakfast and I said bye to everyone including…. What was her name?
Outside we waited for a cop car to go by and then crossed to the pickup truck and drove out of town.
We got back home where he dropped me off at my house but as he drove off I noticed a pile of flag poles sticking out the back of the truck.
NAW, it can’t be………..

Walker

I was working in the fields with my brother when I saw something move.
Going over to see what it was, I saw the tail end of a snake.
There was about two feet of him left outside of the hole he was crawling into.
I looked around for a stick to beat it with.
Finding a stick I walked up to it a whacked it once and I felt this sharp pain from my ass.
I turned around and there was this snake and he just bit me.
While his tail was following his head down the hole the other end came out another hole
Behind me and bit me in the ass.
My brother grabbed a stick and killed the snake then rushed me to the doctor.


My Mother

There were many more shared for most of the night.
Most funny some were somber.
The best entertainment is sitting all around you, all you have to do is share as I am doing right this moment with you.

OMG Archie is dancing and singing on the table………….

Have a nice day

Walker