blue moon (2)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Birthday Neighbours ©


I would like to wish all my American friends a Happy Forth Of July.
230 years ago they stood up to the Brits for the freedom and the right to open a Star Bucks on every corner.
KEEP YOUR TEA rang throughout the country side.
The people gathered and went out to meet their landlords and take a rent reduction by force to become their own keepers.
They put up a valiant fight under the worse conditions to accomplish their goal and I am sure the fact that the English wore bright RED uniforms with SHINY buttons that are so hard to see more 500 miles away had nothing to do with it.
We won’t even discuss the fact like they used to line up like ducks at a fair shooting gallery.
The first Americans were born together as a nation after 8 years of blood and musket ball. That’s like paintball but hurts more for those who weren’t around back then.

We have not always seen thing eye to eye in the past.
Like the four times you tried to invade us and FAILED.
You would have won if the French had joined you though but we knew they wouldn’t.
You see Canadians know how to deal with the French, you don’t.
You went and asked them to join you, WRONG.
You want the French to jump you tell them they are not allowed to jump.
You ask them to join you back then instead of telling them they can’t join.
They would have come running and begging to join just because you didn’t want them and YOU STILL HAVEN’T LEARNED.

Then there was that little episode in 1812 where you tried to sneak across the border and got caught.
Now what kind of an example were you setting for your neighbours to the south?
Not to mention you forced us to burn down the White House in 1814.
Well since we are friends now………I think you should know the truth.
We weren’t trying to burn it down.
It was those two idiots Jean Luc and Pierre.
They were drunk and had to go for a piss, then they went next to that little shed by the outhouse to smoke a joint after and Jean Luc dropped the heater and well…..the rest is History.

But you got even when you bought Alaska.
We were planning to invade it but you bought it right from under our feet.
We had assembled 5 Eskimos with that years model dog sled, armed with new state of the art spears with hand to surface capabilities and 60% accurate within 30 feet.
But the dogs were is heat so we had to wait a month and you beat us to it.

Then you got us with Free Trade.
Well ok we both got fucked on that one.

Over the years we as neighbours have been through a lot and as neighbours we have stood side by side to face many obstacles.
We argue and disagree but we share the one thing that binds us together.




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