blue moon (2)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Friday/Saturday/Afternoon ©

I have something to ask; actually I want to know your opinion as parents.
I know I’m a parent but I’m bias in this situation.
Tonight my two year old niece was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and police escort.
As I write this, the final outcome is still in question, I don’t want to jinx this and I don’t want to use this post for prayers or sympathy because it’s not my style and in fact I will NOT post this until I know for sure what has happened at the hospital one way or another
My faith lies in the doctors and nurses at one of the best children’s hospitals in the world.

I have been talking to my SIL on the phone and all she tells me it’s my brothers fault.
I ask her how Amanda is but she gives me this shit.
Then she explains to me that my brother insisted they take her to the hospital 2 days ago and she probably caught something there from the disease ridden kids that were in the waiting room, so it’s his fault.
I told her that there must have been other kids in the hospital and why were they not sick but Amanda was and she came back with because they are used to being sick because it was part of them genetically and it doesn’t affect them?
It took her 30 minutes to tell me this so after humming and haing with her I ask again.
How’s Amanda?
She tells me that if they would have waited and called a GP and had arraignments made with a specialist, she would have not gotten sick.
She says she has to go and hangs up.
50 minutes with this woman and I know nothing and I am sitting here with a frantic mother next door waiting for word.
I wait 30 minutes and I call back to get some information of what is wrong.

I get the SIL again.
She tells me that Amanda stopped breathing and threw up 5 times and almost chocked to death.
It’s all my brother fault that she has the meginicocal virus.
She said that’s what the doctor said then hangs up on me.
Now I am fucked, worried and have to tell my mother this great news.
I peeled the patch of my arm and go to the freezer and grab a handful of cigarettes to smoke.
My head is not in the right place for news like this right now.
For the last two days I have been writing a heavy post and will take me days more to even think its ready to post so I am already fucked in the head and just this afternoon this same post gutted me and I broke down thinking of my kids and here I am now at 1:20 am with this shit news.
As I am finishing my smoke, the phone rings.
It’s my brother.
I ask him about the kid and he tells me that she threw up once and was looking a little green and was dehydrated so they had her on a saline solution.
Well, what about the meginicocal virus.
He asks me what I am talking about, so I told him what the SIL said.
He flipped out saying the doctors don’t know but they suspect a stomach flue but had sent out for blood tests to be sure.
I asked to confirm about the stop breathing part and he said it never happened and went off into a rant about her.
He hung up to go back inside and now this is all I know so far.

My SIL is a stupid fucken bitch as far as I am concerned and a loon.
I have stated it here before as I have said my brother is a selfish uncaring prick when it comes to his wife.
But for fucks sake, I asked how the kid was and all she could come up with was to point the finger at who was to blame.
I know my brother well and there would be nothing he wouldn’t do for his daughter.
He would knowingly lie and steal from you but would buy her some expensive item without a thought and he does daily, so I know how much he loves Amanda.
I also know that he wouldn’t lie to me because he has the IQ or a fucken golf ball and he needs me to explain what they are saying to him half the time and he told me what he knows.

She FUCKEN LIED to me.
What would be her gain to do this and why should she care at this moment how it happened rather that will she be ok.
Amanda is a beautiful little girl and is always smiling and dancing.
When I walk into the room and she sees me, first I hear unk Pee-er and she comes racing over.
But she is not a love child.
She was conceived as a way to keep my brother by my SIL and she told me with her own lips.
So I have been watching carefully over the last 2 years and I see her use her as leverage to get back at my brother.
She drops off the kid at my mothers every morning at 9 am and picks her up at six.
You know what she does while my mother is watching the child.
She is outside chatting up the neighborhood.
But she tells my mother she has appointments.
I have had a word with her on numerous occasions about this.
My mothers pushing 80 and she is not young enough to deal with a 2 year old and she should be watching the kid not my mother.
Then she takes a hissy fit and keeps the kid from my mother all together, until my mother asks her to see Amanda and then it starts all over again.
I don’t trust her to be honest with me.
I can’t trust someone who puts her child second.
How can I trust her when she doesn’t want to spend time with her child during the bonding years who has admittedly only had this said child to trap my brother?
I haven’t seen my kids in 6 years now even though we live in the same city.
I don’t even know if I would recognize them if they walked past me on the street but I know I missed them today and these people have something special and they don’t care unless they need leverage.
Fuck, I just got a chill, where do people like this come from.
It’s almost 5 am and still no word
I’m stoned and drank a half bottle of this crap, Absenth.
If they knocked down the alcohol content  from 150 proof to 80 proof it wouldn’t taste like rocket fuel.

Its noon and the word is Amanda is home.
After replenishing her fluids and receiving antibiotics they think she will be fine.
She has to go back to the doctor Monday for a follow up.
I find I have become more of a parent to other people’s children than I am to mine.
Some people don’t deserve to be able to have kids.
I just hope my ex has more fucken brain than that SIL of mine.


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