blue moon (2)

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Old Habits Part 2 The Rush ©

Thank you for your words but what you say means nothing.
You see a junkie only sees what is important to them.
Who are you anyway?
You mean nothing to me unless you have my next fix ready, if you don’t well then I don’t really need you but if you got some money to give me I’ll take that and you could go fuck yourself after.

You see, right now at this moment the most important thing to me, is that RUSH.
You have never felt it before because you have never done this.
Some of you have and know what I mean.
It’s better than coming.
Imagine having multiple orgasms for an hour ladies.
It’s even better than that.
You feel, ALIVE
Your brain is in a place that you never knew existed.
Shangri-La could only wish to be this……….euphoric mystical place that I go to every time I suck a lung full of crack.
This is where Heaven and Hell converge and you are God and the pipe is my Devil.

You need ashes.
You see you have to put the screen on the glass pipe and then fill the top of the screen with ashes.
Crack, is cocaine in its purest form and its oil based, so when you put a flame to it, it melts quickly.
The ashes are used to absorb the oil so you could burn it all to smoke it.

The rock in front of me weighs 1.5 grams.
That’s about 12 good hauls.
Better make the first one small to test it.
A big one will blow my brain away and may cause a stroke.
Using a razor blade I cut the rock into pieces and try to make them the same size.
I line them up like soldiers in the order that I am going to smoke them.
From left to right
With them now all cut up I go to the doors and make sure it’s all locked up and the shades are drawn so no one could see in.
You don’t want someone seeing you and then wanting to have some from your stash.

Now in the kitchen I’m sitting at the table.
The clock on the wall says 3am
In front of me sit the tools of my pleasure
A mirror with little small pieces of crack the size of match head each
Next to it is the pipe and beside that in an ashtray where I have been burning cigarettes for the ashes.
In front of me is the most important piece of equipment.
A Bic lighter.
The guy at the corner store sells 100 a week to only 10 customers.
Taking the pipe in my left hand I use a piece of cardboard to load ashes into the pipe.
I need them to be loosely packed.
Then gently I pick up a piece and put it in the pipe.
My hands are trembling with excitement right now and I try and calm down so I don’t drop the piece on the floor.
I put the pipe to my lips and light the lighter.
Slowly I put the flame to the bowl of the pipe melting the crack without inhaling and then I take a deep haul.
The trick now is to hold it in for as long as possible, this causes it to rush to the brain faster.
I put down the pipe quickly because I know what’s coming.
I get rocked back and my head goes for a spin.
I stagger back against the wall.
My heart is pounding out of my chest and I can’t stop from clinching my chest trying to hold it from blowing out.
Then the euphoria sets in.
Life is now beautiful.
It’s 3:10 am and I need another hit to keep in this place in my head.
I’m not saying want because I don’t want it, but I need it.
I have to stay here in this place that doesn’t exist but does.
It’s a lust
There has only been one other thing I have ever lusted for more than this.

The line diminished as the morning creeped into afternoon.
It’s all gone now and I am scrapping for more.
Digging and looking in places there could be no possibility of finding any more.
I’m on my knees looking at the crumbs of bread long dried and stale on the floor incase I dropped some.
My hunger eats at my brain.
I need more.
Who do I know willing to front me an eight ball?
What could I sell for the next fix?



Hey, you forgot something at my computer desk.
Come back and get it.

To be continued………………


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