blue moon (2)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Drivers License Please ©

Here is as bazaar story as the legal system could make it.
It happened one summer 26 years ago.
My friend Frank and his boyfriend Dave had gone out for a night of drinking and dancing.
Dave drove this really nice late 60s Chevy convertible.
The thing had to be 20 feet long but it was a beauty.
Wait I better explain my friendship with Frank, cuss it was Frank I knew.
When I was young my friend Philip had gotten into trouble and Frank was his probation officer but we all got to know each other and when I got into trouble as a youth he asked to be my probation officer too.
It was also convenient because he also sold dexies for me to the gay community.
It was legal people. I made a fortune selling fucked caffeine tablets at 1000% of what I paid for them. Mind you I bought them by the million from Hustler magazine.
Frank was a cool guy.
He was one of the guys in a time when gays were not treated with respect and if anyone on his gay friends got smart, stand back because he wasn’t small.
He was a smart ass though.
Once we were playing poker for nickels and he won a pot and like we always called each others names as friends do
I said “Cock sucker.”
He said “Yeeeeeees” with a grin.
Well it was obvious that wasn’t going to work so well.
The next pot he won I looked at him and he was looking right at me with a grin and I said “fucken pussy licker” which got him going BIG time and from that day on that’s what all the guys said to him while playing poker.
Anyway getting back to the story, Frank and Dave had gone out drinking and as usual Dave got drunk.
Dave always got drunk.
Not only that but he drove drunk and had gotten into a couple of accidents and lost his license many times.
This night he was catatonic and asked Frank to drive,
Frank freaked because he didn’t know how and he didn’t even have a license.
Dave was flipping out because he didn’t want to leave his car in that part of town over night.
Frank finally succumbed to Dave’s pleading and got his first driving lesson while Dave was passed out drunk in the back seat of the car.
He knew how to start it and had seen other people drive so he figured how hard could it be, right?
15 minutes later there was a red light flashing in the back and Frank had pulled over on some ones lawn.
The cop came over to the driver’s side and asked Frank for his driver’s license but Frank had none and told the cop as much.
Frank was hand cuffed and taken off to the police station.
He was charged with driving a motor vehicle without a driver’s license and a court date was set.
By the time it went to trial and Frank saw a judge it had taken a year and he pleaded guilty.
The Judge gave him a $500 fine and suspended his driver’s license for 3 months.
Frank pointed out that he didn’t have a license so it didn’t matter, but guess what?
The judge had one issued to him so that he could suspend it.
Go figure.
But wait, the story is not over yet.
When the suspension was over the ministry of transportation sent him a letter stating that his suspension was over and his driver’s license was attached.
How’s that for fucked up.
He got a drivers license with even knowing how to drive because of a judge eagerness to suspend him.


While Frank was in jail.
Dave was still sleeping in the back seat.

Fridays Joke


Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctorhanded the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!"Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there'sanother one coming."Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" Said the doctor.Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" criedthe doctor.The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor... "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting' 'em?"

Y’all have a nice weekend
Yea hear


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