blue moon (2)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

The Pool ©

It’s been very hot here lately.
My brother went out the other day to by my niece her first little pool. It’s one of those inflatable numbers that comes in a small box and inflates to the size of a small car.
It’s about 7 feet in diameter and about a foot deep, but they live in an apartment and have no room for it.
So he brought it to my parent’s place to set up. It’s only half a block away to my fathers house.
I walk out my back door and there was my brother and my father. Both looked like they had just run a marathon. Their faces were beet red and they were huffing and puffing for air.
What are you doing and why are you both dying, I said.
Good, wheezed my brother; you can help us inflate this pool.
I came back with, why would I want to have a stroke like you two, but then I could see my niece with her wide eyes looking at this big flat inflatable balloon.
Ok I said and told them to wait. I went in the house and came back out with an electric pump.
Why didn’t you tell us you had that, my brother said?
You never asked I told him.
He sat down and it was filled in 5 minutes.
I was watching this thing growing as fast the smile on my face grew. My niece was laughing histerically too. I bet at 20 months she realized what I did and what her father and grand father didn’t.
When they had filled it to its maximum they had to try and figure out how to get it out of the shed, because it was too big for the door. Twits.
If you haven’t guessed yet, they had to empty half of it.
Now it was out side and it was, or is something to see. It even has arches. It looks like a McDonalds after a flash flood and my brother is the clown. LOL
Now while my brother is setting this thing up, his wife and the kid are watching.
Not My Niece.Just a pic I used. The pool was twice the size of this one and had 2 arches about 3 feet high over it. I have no idea what the arches are for.

I’m sitting with my father.
Now, here is a tight man with his money. I don’t blame him much, he grew up with none and worked hard for what he’s got. I’m surprised he is letting them even set it up and fill it with his water, but it is hot out, (40) so I figured he is doing it for his grand daughter who loves him to pieces.
I pick up the box, it isn’t that big. I read the instructions and notice how much water it holds. Hmmmmmmmm, this is too good, of an opportunity for a laugh to pass up.
Hey look what it says here. This thing can hold 140 gallons of water.
WHAT?!!!!! Yelled my father.
I knew it; he didn’t realize the water factor and I started laughing to myself.
Yes it says here, that when fully filled it holds that much.
Well he is off the chair and over at the railing telling my brother that if he was going to fill the lake to the rim he’ll be carting the water from his place.
I am laughing myself to death.
We have been getting the old man going for years, just for the laugh.
My brother yells at me because he knows my father doesn’t read English and I had to read it to him.
They argued back and forth for awhile until the pool was filled and then there was nothing to argue about.
Now came the swim suit.
They paid 30 dollars for it. My mouth almost dropped. Fuck I never paid more than $10 bucks for the ones my kids wore.
Upon looking at it though, I noticed it was about the same size as the ones the women at the beach wear now, so maybe it had a life time warranty.
My mother puts her it and I look at the niece and then at my mother and sister in law.
You have it on backwards, I tell them.
no no it's right they tell me.
Nope, I say, it's backwards.
How would you know, my mother says.
Well, I'm pretty sure that the back is not suppose to be covered and her little titties showing like that, I replied.
They stood there looking for a minute and started switching it around.
They get her in it the right way and took her to the pool.
My brother picked her up and as soon as she got over it, she lets loose some wild screams and curls her legs up like she was being dropped into boiling oil.
There was no way she was going in it and that was final.
This is my brother's first kid and he tip toes around her.
He was trying to tempt her to get in.
There was no way, he got in, no way.
Both he and his wife get in, no way.
He gave her a pail of water to play with and get used to the water for awhile, but when he picked her up to put her in she freaked.
I’m sitting on the deck with me parents watching all of this.
1 hour has gone by and the kid's dry and her parents are soaked.
Can I try, I asked, being the polite person that I am.
They said sure if I knew how to get her in.
I walked down the stairs, smiled at her, she smiled at me.
I picked her up and she giggled. I turned her around and plopped her right in the middle of the pool before she could even protest and walked straight back up the stairs. She was too shocked to cry, she just stood in 10 inches of water.
My parents were just sitting there laughing at my brother and his wife, amateurs.
The kid was sitting in the water and having a great time. When she was done they brought her in the house for the night.
The fun part will be tomorrow, when my brother comes to fill it up again because he emptied it and my father doesn’t know. LOL


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