blue moon (2)

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Call Me Superman ©

I have been working hard at home the last couple of days. With my mother stove less and being saddled with a big BBQ it has been none stop cooking until 4am and cleaning house. Man do I miss living in a 1 bedroom apartment. Ok no I don't but I hate cleaning a 3 bedroom house.
I have been calling all my cousins and inviting them to the BBQ. They know its happening, but they all want a personal invitation.
Last night one of them called me to see if she should be bringing anything. I said no, but we got to talking since we don’t talk as much any more.
We grew up together as kids. Our parents couldn’t afford to have their own places back then so the 6 of us lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. It was the upstairs of a house owned by an Italian family.
I remember once after watching TV we had gone and started playing super heroes. She wanted to be Lois Lane and said I was Super man, which was fine by me until she decided I was really Superman.
I had gone down the stairs and was coming up.
When I was halfway up she said catch me. She had started at the end of the hallway and ran to the top of the stairs and hurled herself down the stairs for me to catch her. All I thought at that moment was, AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was screaming down at me with arm flaying about like a propellers. She was almost my size and 2 years different, and at 8 years old the only super in me was super weak.
Our parents heard the crash and came running. Hell the landlords heard the crash and came running.
Lying at the bottom of the stairs was a mass of arms and legs, and both of us crying.
She was bawling and blaming me.
“You were supposed to catch me and you didn’t”.
Fact of the matter was that I did catch her, but how do you stop a freight train plowing into you.
Luckily nothing was broken.
Last night I asked her, "so what’s new"?
I’ll tell you what she said as she told it to me.
A couple of months ago she woke up and went to the washroom and freaked.
Her daughter came in and asked “what’s the matter”?
She said “I’m Pregnant. My hair only looks this good when I’m pregnant.”
Her daughter pointed out that it could not be possible because she had her tubes tied.
She dismissed her good hair prediction and went to work. On the way home she bought a test kit and took it that night and it came back positive.
She was stunned.
Her Boyfriend apparently was dancing around singing about his super sperm and how it could leap over tall buildings and navigate any knots.
She called her doctor in the morning and told her the results and the doctor told her it was impossible for her to be pregnant. There had to be a mistake and a valid explanation. She made her an appointment for the next day and she went in.
The doctor took blood and 3 days later she called my cousin to tell her that, she in fact was pregnant, tubes tied and all.
Mister super sperm was dancing still in the kitchen.
Now she had a decision to make. She didn’t want anymore kids but couldn’t justify aborting. It was a miracle to say the least.
Two days latter she was feeling ill and went to see the doctor again.
She was sent for an ultra sound and was found that the baby was growing outside of the Uterus and was causing problems.
If left where it was it would cause more damage to her and would probably not survive. It was decided that the fetus would have to be removed.
She was scheduled to go see a specialist at the hospital.
When she got there she was taken to the cancer ward. She freaked, wondering why she was sent there.
They told her that they were going to give her chemotherapy to kill the fetus and the body would expel it in a few days.
A few days that’s exactly what happened.
Well after that story we said our good byes and that she would see me on Saturday.
Man, all I could think of after that was about all the women out there who think they are safe from getting pregnant because they had their tubes tied.
That doctor must have used a slip knot.
What would you think if this happened to you?

Oh and on a closing note. Mr. Super Sperm had his tally whacker snipped so his buddies are swimming in circles now.


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