blue moon (2)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Buddy ©

Due to the construction outside my window and the 5:30 am phone call I got from England (I will be posting about that tomorrow, bring some bats for some bashing) the 3 hours sleep I got in the last 3 days has left me fuzzy. So here is something I had writen and hadn't posted. This will also be a change after the last couple of posts. I may be asking Dr Ruth and Chef Paul Prudhomme to be guest bloggers. LOL
Enjoy and I'll see you all when I wake up.

My friends over the years have pulled some real stunts, acts of utter genius and stupidity.
This one friend Phil spends more time in jail than he does out. He is smart enough to get a good job but spends so much time thinking of how to get easy money, he has no time to look for work. One time undercover cops approach him about buying a large amount of cocaine.
I don’t know how, but he figures them out but still agrees to the deal. This is the way he saw it. He sold the cops a bag of procaine for 10 thousand dollars .Cost him $500. Procaine is legal; calling it cocaine is illegal he got 2 yrs.
Next, Phil and another genius manage to get around a state of the art alarm system and broke into a large bowling lane in hopes of getting into the safe.
They left the outside door wide open for a quick getaway. Someone saw the door open and called the police. The police arrive and go up the stairs and open all the lights and search for anyone they could find.
They find no one, they face down towards the east lanes and one cop calls out, ok come out or we’ll shoot.
From behind them, the cops hear ok we give up, almost giving them a heart attack. They turn and there is Phil and his buddy standing next to a wide open door, with their hands up, he got 3 years.
Then there was the time when Phil down and desperate walked into a KFC with a replica of a hand gun and helped himself to what was in the cash and a chicken dinner; he got 2 years for that as well.
The last time I saw him we and 2 other friends were at a pub for some beer and wings we hadn’t seen each other for years, when he says I have to go out for 10 minutes and I’ll be back.
He was right about being back but it was 4 years later. He had arraigned a deal where the customer. Turned out to be a cop. He would have made 30 bucks.
His life of crime did not start at an old age it started one summer morning outside of a bank. How do I know this you may ask?
I know because I was there and saw it all.
We were down there just hanging out. I was 14 Phil was 15 the others were about the same age. An armored car pulls up and the driver and a guard walk out with canvas bags each.
Now the guards got the bags from a small door in the side of the truck. Phil meanders to the side of the truck and sees 2 bags all alone and no guards.
He grabs the bags and runs.
Snake runs with him.
They race down the street and Phil takes the corner at top speed and stops dead in his tracks because he ran right into a mail box. Lying on his back with blood running out of his nose he reaches up and passes the bags to Snake who like a relay runner snags the bags and blasts off. He runs the 12 blocks home where he waits for the rest of the gang.
Phil shows up and takes the bags.
He remarked how they were so fast that no one managed to follow them.
We had all arrived by now and watched as Phil emptied the contents of both bags on the bed. They had two bags of coin wrappers.
We laughed at the 2 of them for years on that one.
Everyone has grown up and moved on, to bigger and better and legal things, everyone that is but Phil.
Today he called me for a favor and a talk; I guess he could find Mike.
So, I asked Phil how’s things?
Not bad, he says, I'm getting ready to move, my asshole landlord is evicting me.
Why? I ask.
I haven’t paid the rent in six months.
Well Phil who’s the asshole.
He laughs.
He says he will be here next week on Wednesday, and will drop by.
I have known Phil for 30 years and over those years we have helped him every way we could. He has never changed.
What will he want?
What will it cost me?
I may not be here that day.
I just may go out and buy some coin rappers.

Have a nice day


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