blue moon (2)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Pissing Sawdust ©

I woke up the other day and walked out the front door and looked up at nothing.
Just clear blue skies.
This is the first time I have ever stood in my doorway and experienced this feeling.
Usually I wouldn’t be able to do this because of the porch and balcony but that’s not a problem today because it’s all gone.
Feels fucken weird.
I have been walking out this front door for most of my life and all I can remember is this huge behemoth spanning two houses and two levels and now it was gone.
Poof just like that.
Six guys tore it down and hauled it off so fast it was scary.

It was time for it to go because it was rotting and no one wants to walk under and two to balcony.
At the post office the mailmen used to pull straws to see who was going to deliver my mail.

The only thing the kept was the roof, which was in good shape and saving us $3000.
It was being supported by three fifteen-foot columns.
It’s something to see.
Three long poles holding up this roof.
A guy walks up and asks if it was always like that.
Yes, yes it is and every Friday night the hookers come by to ride them.
That’s why I keep them greased so they don’t get any splinters.

On a positive note I will be getting a brand new porch and balcony for my bedroom that will be safe.
It will also double as my onsuite.
It is a shorter walk to the balcony to piss in the front garden than walking down the hall to the washroom.

My friends have been calling me to ask what happened to the front part of my house.
I told them termites ate it all but they new one will be made of fate metal wood.
Well, it’s my way of saving part of a forest and recycling a lot of pop cans.
That and fifteen grand out of our pockets.
Yup, if we went all wood it would have cost thirty thousand but because we went with aluminium columns with a centre post and aluminium railings we saved half.

Oh yeah, me and my brother got into it over the railings.
He wanted to get glass and I wanted the spindles.
Who the fuck is going to have to clean the glass?
Me of course because he doesn’t do shit like that so spindles it is.
Besides I can’t piss through glass and I don’t want to be pushing up 30 inches on my toes trying to get over the top of the railing only to fall over.
What can I say, I think ahead.

Now I am painting my porch in the basement.
Huh?
What, what was that?
You’re painting your porch in the basement?
Yeah, I am painting my porch in the basement.

What can I say?
I figured it was easier for me to prime all the wood before they nailed it all up.
It’s fucken cold out there lately.
After its nailed up all I got to do is give it one coat of paint before the snow comes and I am done.

This should have been started a month ago but the contractor was busy so now, I’m busy but I don’t mind.
I get bored easy and I hate being bored.

Oh, and I am closing in on my 1000th post.
I figured I would make it a reader’s choice post.
What would you like me to write about for my thousandth post, which is about eight posts away?
There you go.
Give me the subjects to lead me to my thousandth post.

OK, I got to go back to painting

Have a nice day

Walker

7 comments:

BlazngScarlet said...

Haven't you had enough painting?!
lol

1000th eh?
Sex Talk.
It's been awhile .....

Opaque said...

Waiting to see your painting...

Skye said...

House projects never end, do they? At least you're able to do some of the work yourself and save some money.

For your 1000th, I'd love to see an ending to that multi-generational series you were writing that started off with the people caught and turned into slaves. I think you were up to Chapter 18.

Walker said...

BlazngScarlet I love painting don`t you know it.
A Sex Talk eh, I will see what I can do

Walker said...

Opaque: Not much to see.
Mostly floor boards and ceiling panels but I will see what I can do.

Walker said...

Skye: No it doesnt ever end and i have a long list of major projects to do.
THe electrical is next I think and then the kitchen with the washroom not far behind.

THe Red Clay is actually finished I just never posted it because i figure people had enough of it but i will see what i can do

Peter said...

The 1000th post should be another one of the reasons your family feature in!!!