blue moon (2)

Monday, January 04, 2010

First Post Of The Year ©

So, first post of the New Year.
2010
It should take me until about April to stop putting 2009 on everything.
I had a great time this year.
First Christmas with my family and the next day Inia rolled in with her mob and mayhem ensued.

There were kids of all shapes and sizes spread all over the house with brand new toys to play with including yours truly who was surprised with a PSP GO to replace Blue, who fell on hard times.
BUT I still have it and am battling sentiment against logic by thinking of repairing it.

Every kid including my niece got one sort of electronic game to play with and by the end of the day each had carved out a section of the living room to drown into the pillows while trying make it in a rock band or maybe win a race against a menagerie of imaginary critters while dodging bombs and turtle shells.
Everyone except Inia’s oldest who was in the kitchen getting his head blown off in a Game called Call of Duty.
After watching him play for half an hour it was obvious he hadn’t heard the terms, He you lives and runs away gets to fight another day or maybe, Duck and run until the sun’s in their eyes then fuck’em up the bum.
Or maybe he liked seeing his virtual brains splatter on the wall.
I know he rejoiced when his partner got his noggin splattered into a Picasso print on a brick wall.

He played that game for almost a whole week and in that week he killed 32,198 enemy targets, 176 friends and only died 576 times.
Not bad for a rookie I think.

For those who don’t know me well, I am being sarcastic.
Personally I don’t know how to take this game.
As a stand-alone game, I like it but it’s not a stand-alone game only.
People from all over the world can log in at the same time online and engage into a simulated battle against real people controlling the opposing side and right there lies the problem.
A lot of aggression is displayed when playing these games and the visuals are remarkably accurate as they are brutally graphic.
I’m serious; one guy got obliterated all over my screen sop fast I almost shit my pants.
Ok I had the stomach flu to but\ it was close.
I hate the stomach flu.
Everything I eat came back out liquid form.
I didn’t want to gross you out so I didn’t use the “D” word but I never ran to the fucken washroom so many times in my life.
I mean I didn’t know what was going to happen.
Sure as hell farting was out of the freakin question in fear of crapping all over my pants.
I’m just happy the fucken tub is across from the toilet so all I had to do is drop my pants and piss into both at the same time like a horny beluga whale blowing hot dough from both ends.

People, mostly kids hone their mental skills in the art of trapping and then engaging an enemy until they are eliminated or they themselves taken out of the game.
I just don’t know if I agree with that.
Like I said I love the game as a stand alone game where the opponent in a computer program and you try to beat the computer but a real human might give people the wrong reasons to dislike someone from another country.
Saying all that, I am the one who bought then gave the kid the game and he loves it.
I just hope he understands it’s a game and the people on the other end are just like him trying to have some fun.

What else did I do over the holidays?
Oh yeah, I ate way to fucken much, specifically about 4 pounds of fruitcake cookies that Inia made for me.
Right after I ate them she told me that they were loaded with fiber, which only fueled my washroom activity.
There was no problem with propulsion after eating those cookies that’s for sure.

In the space of seven days between Christmas and New Years, we ate roughly 300 pounds of food.
That’s a lot of shit.
Two full rib roasts, a turkey, a mountain of shrimp.
Steaks for breakfast, burgers for lunch and pussy for dinner.
Ok pussy has no calories but the whip cream does.

1000 COOKIES, RUMBALLS AND CAKES

Yeah, a lot of fiber there.
New Years Eve we all sat down to play poker.
Texas Hold Em rules.
A couple of days before Inia and I decided that instead of money we would go out to buy a prize instead making the kids loose their Christmas money.
Besides we would only have to give it back to them or worse they bleed us for what we have left.

After walking around Costco I found the perfect gift.
Inia thought it was funny as hell so we bought it and when we got home we put it in a box so no one knew what they were playing for.
It was a good game, everyone was playing hard but the kids were taking a beating and parents had to pad their chip piles every now and then to keep them in.
With interest of course, chores, wink

After 1 am we called it quits and a chip count was made to see who was the winner.
I think it was Inia who had the most and her son asked if he could get her the prize and she said sure.
He opened the box and pulled out a multi pack of Oral B toothbrushes.
He said if he knew there were tooth brushes in the box he would have gone all in on the first hand.
HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!

So that was a piece of my holiday
I hope you all had as much fun as we did

Have a nice year

Walker

16 comments:

Puss-in-Boots said...

Toothbrushes as a prize for winning a game of pioker...chortle. I wonder how that'd go down in Las Vegas...

Sorry to hear you had a bout of gastro...not nice and your arse feels red hot for a while, doesn't it?

Whatever...I'm glad you had such a good time...all of you. All the best for 2010

Sapna Anu B.George said...

Good to read you in this new year, you are in Oman?have a great year ahead

Boxer said...

I'll take normal flu over stomach flu. Blech.

I'm glad you had a fun New Year's. You didn't say how the kids appreciated the gift they were playing for. I think it was pretty damn funny.

skye said...

I like the idea of playing a game to win a gift. Might have to steal it for next year :)

Don't think the kids are gonna fall for it two years in a row, though. Or will they? Knowing how much of a talker you are, I'm sure you could convince them that it was something they've always wanted.

Liane said...

OMG, that's a lot of food.. no wonder you had the "D" ;-) Have you seen the movie "Gamer" with Gerald Butler? If not, he is the main character, playing a guy in prison who is being controlled by a person on the outside via video-gaming-technology to kill other people. The price for the surviving prisoner is the release from jail. In parts it was made like the game "Sim" where regular people are also controlled by a video gamer... the concept of it all seems all too real. I wonder, how much longer it will be before this will become our reality, where the character on the screen will be a real person... rambling again.. a sign for me to get out of here..lol.. HAPPY NEW YEAR

Peter said...

I'm not sure ANYONE has as much fun in their life as you do Walker!!!!
Hope it all continues in 2010.

BlazngScarlet said...

Sounds like a fun time at the ZOO!
;)

Or was it more like the Circus?
Insane asylum?

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots: We figured to have a snicker at the kids expense and toothbrushes always come in handy

Walker said...

Sapna Anu B.George: No i am in Canada but my dates wish they were in Oman, it's so cold here

Walker said...

Boxer: The kids were not pleased on the prize but then again they didn't win LOL

Walker said...

Liane: The holidays usually means to much food and my stomach and butt usually pays the price in the end.
No i have seen the movie yet but i have heard of it

Walker said...

Peter: Life is as we accept it and how we see it I guess.
I try to enjoiy it most of the time and you do with your travels

Walker said...

skye: Next year we will get a box for a prize that they want and put in toothbrushes in that HA HA HA

Walker said...

BlazngScarlet: Zoo, circus or asylum, its all the same in the end.
they are full of animals

Suzanne said...

Hi honey, it's me!!! Yes, still alive. LMAO!!! Still laughing. God I love you! Happy New Year and thanks for making mine better!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit you're too funny! Just a few observations before I leave you: Whip cream reference killed me, I would have won the toothbrushes, you bought the game...it's all your fault.

LOVE YOU!!! XO ;)

Suzanne said...

Oh, stop by The Wild Onion. It's Leah's birthday. I'm hoping someone arrives naked. Hope it's you. And bring food! Oh, and PS, glad you're feeling better b/c the bathroom at The Wild Onion is only virtual!!! XO