blue moon (2) 01dog_bgca3

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Sex Talk: Within The Shadow Of The Moon ©

It’s been awhile since I wrote some fiction and with Halloween coming up I figured why not see if I can conjure up something.
Then I thought well I haven’t done a Sex Talk in ages either so why not kill two birds with one stone instead of writing about my boring life.
Truth be told, I enjoy writing fiction every now and again and with little time to write I spent the last four days working on this when I could.

There is explicit sex and language this post so for those who may be offended are welcome to click on any of the great Bloggers on my sidebar.

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“Look at this fucken mess”.
“Geezuz H fucken krist”….
Detective Greer’s hand came up to his face.
He had been on the force for twenty-two years and over those years he had seen a lot that hardened his soul but this scene set him aback.
“Who called this in?” Greer asked Officer Henderson.

Henderson, a ten-year veteran of the force himself was one of the first to arrive at the scene.
It was his puke just inside the door, “It was an anonymous call from a payphone not to far from here.

The evening was cold and damp as he made his way down the dark alley.
Garbage was strewn all over with the smell of piss, shit and other rotting matter reached his sense of smell.
At the end there was flashing red sign filling the alley with an eerie blood red hue.
The puddles looked like blood and his heavy boot splashed into the center of it sending waves to mingle with the rest of the garbage.

He stopped in front of the flashing light and looked up at it.
Red Rum Bar/grill, rooms for let painted below it

His boot still dripping bile stepped onto the crumbling step followed by the other until he stood looking through the door before his leather clad hand pushed through.

The man with the long leather duster came in, without breaking stride he made for the corner table.
She searched for his eyes but they were tucked under the brim of his hat.
His jeans looked like they had seen a lot of wear, especially around his tight ass, her mouth began to water when she caught a glimpse of the bulge in his pants.

A skinny waitress walked over to the table and stood there or a few seconds before she turned and made her way to the small bar at the cash where she gave her order to a big burly man standing behind the bar.
A couple of minutes later she went back to his table where she deposited a bottle of bourbon and a glass for him.

“I’ve never seen you here before, my name is Frankie”, said the waitress.
His hand moved up from somewhere depositing the money for the bourbon on the table.
With out saying a word she picked it up then walked away.

She had a pretty face he thought.

His hand reached out taking the bottle in his hand, opening it with the other before pouring himself a full glass.
Screwing the cap back on he placed the bottle to the side of the table then picked up his glass and tilted it to his lips pouring its caustic contents down his throat.

He saw her through the gap between darkness and the rim of his hat as she sat by the window looking at him.
Sitting in her chair with the corner sticking out between her legs, one of her heels hooked to the chair rail parting them enough to expose one of her milky white thighs that had been wrapped in a long black flowing skirt before in slipped out between the folds.

He was still looking at her through the amber fluid when he saw her stand up behind the shadow of his glass then start walking towards him.
Filling his mouth he put the glass down on the table while he held it there to feel the poison burning his tongue as she walked towards him.

She had dark eyes with long flowing black hair that fell down past full breasts, which hung perfect and free behind her flimsy silky red blouse with red rose peeking up out of the valley
Long legs with slender feet wrapped in leather sandals carried her to the table.
Standing at the foot of the table she looked down on him, “buy a lady a drink” she asked.

Without lifting his glance up he moved his hand out pushing the bottle towards her.
“A little short on manners today I see” she said.
His hat tilted up and she looked into two dead eyes with fire trapped in them below the rim of the hat then his hand started pulling the bottle back towards him.
She quickly sat down and grabbed for the bottle taking his hand in her.

His hand was hot, very hot.
She could almost feel his hot blood surging through his veins even through the leather glove.
Letting her fingers slip off of his leather clad hand she took hold of the bottle and pulled it towards her as he slowly lessened his grip on it.

Turning to her left she called out to the waitress, “Frankie can I get a glass please”.
Frankie walked over with a glass for her and she thanked her with a lustful grin, which Frankie returned it return

“So, Mr. Mystery Man, do you have a name or should we just give you one”.
“My name is Miranda”.
Silence was her answer.
“We can call you tight cheeks’, she laughed.

His hand appeared out of the dark recesses of his coat to take the bottle; filling his glass half way then stopped for a brief second before reaching over to fill hers.
“Oh, maybe we should call you Mr. Generous” she purred.
His head tilted up a bit so she could see his cold eyes burning just under the brim of his hat

Taking the glass in his hand he brought it to his lips, paused then pushed it back before he brought the glass back down to the table without making as much as a whisper of sound.
He stood up slowly and walked to the bar.
“Room” he said.

The burly bartender looked at him then turned and taking a key off the wall
“Room 3” he said, “20 bucks up front”.
Licking his lips the bartender waited for his money.

His hand came out holding a roll of bills.
With his thumb he pushed out the top twenty exposing a hundred under it dropping the twenty on the bar before stepping back towards his table.
Turning he two steps to his table then reached over taking the bottle by the neck then walked towards the stairs leading upstairs to the rooms.

“Hey what about me” Miranda called out?
He kept walking up the stairs.
No one in her long life had ever blown her off like that and she didn’t like it.
Didn’t like it one bit.
She looked toward the bar and Frankie who had a smirk on her face.

Greer walked up to the table where the body of a naked young woman lay tits down.
Tits down because her face was staring up at the ceiling.
A large chunk was missing from her neck and her back was raked with what look like nail marks.
A white substance ran out from between her butt cheeks and down her thighs dripping to the floor.
Whatever made those couldn’t have been human.
“What do you think did that?” Greer said.
“I have no idea, I guess that’s why you’re the detective isn’t it”.

Greer gave Henderson a glance without saying a word then walked past the mangled body of the woman and towards the bar.
Behind it there was a man lying on the floor holding his stiff cock in his hand with a bullet hole in his forehead.
“This poor bastard’s been shot” said Greer.
“Yeah, my partner Officer Michaels shot him” returned Henderson.
“What, why” asked Greer?
“It was dark when we walked in here and as we got deeper into the place he walked towards the bar”.
“When he walked around he saw, ‘that guy’ on the floor, jerking off then shot him but in the dark he thought the guy was going for a weapon”.
Greer looked down at the body, “Look at the size of that, it looks like a weapon, your partner will get off”.
“That’s more than I can say about this poor fuck”.

The stranger climbed to the top of the stairs and looked down the hallway to the door at the other end with the number three painted on the front.
Slowly he moved down the dimly lit hallway toward his room and as he passed the door with the number one painted on it he heard a woman laughing on the other side.
Each step hi took the laughter died away until he passed room two.
He had only gone a step beyond the door when the door for room one opened up and a woman ran out.

Her large tits swung down towards her waist as she ran up the hallway towards him.
“Hey mister”, she called “want to suck on some ripe melons big boy, Ha, Ha, Ha”?
“How about a three some” she yelled out?
“I bet you got a cock on you and know how to use it on a woman, not like that fag in the room”.
“Hey, I’m talking to you, mister” she took a quick step and grabbed him by the back of the arm.

She could hear a low growl coming from the other side of him as he slowly turned around and looked into her eyes.
The fire burning deep in his eyes, scaring her, causing her to let go of his arm and take a step back.

A man stumbled out of the room wearing a bra and guarder belt, his cock and balls dangling between his legs.
.
“There you are” he walked up to her then looked at the other man.
“Is this guy bothering you because if he is…..”?
The stranger shifted his gaze to the man.
He stopped talking.
The stranger turned and continued to walk towards the end of the hallway.
Taking the woman by the arm, the man dragged her back to their room and locked the door.

Taking the key he pushed it into the lock and turned it.
The door swung open into the musty room.
With his left hand he reached in and flipped the switch on then surveyed the room before stepping in.
Pulling the key from the lock her pushed it closed with his right hand then made sure it was locked before stepping up to the bed.

He pulled his hat off letting the dirty light of the room fall across his long greasy locks then tossed the hat to the center of the bed.
Pushing his shoulders back her let the duster slip off of his shoulders and down to his awaiting hand.
He draped the coat on the chair next to the bed then stood in front of the mirror to stare at him when a whisper caught his senses.
He keenly looked at the door as if to see through it.

A knock came from the door and he looked at it through the mirror.
He suspected it would be the woman from the bar, as he expected.

Who the fuck did he think he was, ignoring her as he did.
Grabbing up the glasses from the table she started up the stairs after him, she was going to show him that no one walks away from her and then….., then she’ll make him pay.
She walked down the hallway towards room three.

As she approached room one the door opened a few inches and a woman stood behind it pulling at her cunt while grinding the side of her head against the door jam.
“He’s going to fuck the shit out of you, then I’m going to be next, HA, HA, HA”!!!!
The woman was jerked away from the door then slammed shut.

“So this is the crime scene,” asked Greer.
“This is part of it, replied Henderson, “There is more upstairs.
“It can’t be worse than this shit”, said Greer.
“I’ll let you decide that”, returned Henderson.

They both started walking up the stairs next to the bar and as Greer got to the top of the stairs he saw the body lying half way down the hallway.
He slowly made his way to the body with Henderson walking behind him.
“Fuck, what kind of an animal does this shit” choked Greer.
Greer walked around and looked down at the woman.
Her breasts had been torn apart and crotch had been, what looked like, eaten away.
“Look at her face, she’s smiling”, Henderson said.
Greer looked at her face and she was smiling.

To his right he saw an open door and walked in.
The room was a wreck and on the bed was a man in garters lagging face down, he looked like he had been brutally sodomized.
Greer walked to the bed and rolled the body over.
“What the hell is that in his mouth”, asked Henderson?
Greer leaned in then looked back at Henderson, ”It’s his gear”.
“His cock and balls”, said Greer.
Henderson started turning green then ran out the door.

Miranda made her way down to the end of the hallway and the door marked with a three on it.
She stood in front of the door letting her temper subside before she knocked.
What she should do is kick in the door and break his fucken balls but that might attract unwanted attention and then there was that delicious bulge she was dieing to sink her teeth into.
She pulled the blouse down a bit to expose a little bit more of her wears before she reached out and knocked on the door.

She didn’t hear any sound coming from the room.
“Hey Mr. Generous, it’s Miranda from the bar downstairs, I brought our glasses up”.
“I figured you wanted me to bring them up”, she said.
She heard the lock snap open then the door slowly opened up to a dark room.
Miranda pushed the door slowly and watched at what little light in the hallway poured into the dark abyss.
“Hello”, she called into the room.

Miranda stepped into the room and as she did the door swung shut and in the dark she could hear the locks bolt slide into place.
“ I thought maybe we could finish up the rest of that bottle and get a little better acquainted with each other,” she offered to the darkness.

She felt a breeze move past her to the left then a low growl came from her right before she was swept off her feet and planted against the wall off the room.
The red light from the sign forced its way through the flimsy curtain to cast a shadow over her prisoner.
She could make out his curly locks dropping down past his shoulders.
His sharp facial features.

“I have our glasses she” said.
He stood there silent in the dark for a few seconds then his lips mashed violently against hers while his fingers grabbed at her body and pulling it tighter to his.
His lips mauled hers like a hungry animal that had been starving for a long time.

Swinging her away from the wall they dropped on top of the bed still locked at the lips.
Miranda tossed the glasses aside then wrapped her legs around his slim waist and started mauling his lips in return.
Grabbing her head with both hands he started kissing her face then went to her neck where he ran his tongue over her smooth skin then bit her neck, hard.
Not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to send electrical shocks throughout her body.

She could feel the growl growing in his chest as she sank her nails into his back; his teeth sank deeper as she engraved herself into his flesh.
When his teeth bit her earlobes her nipples almost burst with delight.
Sensing her pleasure he climbed even higher on her body bearing down on her head assaulted her earlobes, neck and lips with even more enthusiasm.

Moving down her neck he tore the blouse open, taking a mouthful of flesh in his mouth.
Her skin was cold against his hungry lips and burning tongue but it didn’t stop him from taking her marble hard nipple in his mouth and suck it before grinding it between his teeth.

As his lips fed on her breasts his left hand tore away the blouse then parted her skirt and was ripping off her panties.
When he had them thrown clear across the room he made his way down her torso to her pussy where he pushed her legs wide to sniff her dripping cunt.

His long tongue reached out and let one of the droplets fall on the tip of his tongue then took it to taste her burning lust for what he had to give her.

Reaching over with his lips he touched her inner thigh and felt its softness against his lips.
Then lick it up all the way to her calf where he sunk his teeth into her firm calves.
He felt her pull away but her grabbed her legs tightly and bit her again but harder until her heard a moan escape from her lips.
He let his teeth mark a trail back down to her thigh when like magic his teeth became gentle lips caressing her thigh along with his tongue.

Moving from her thigh he nuzzled against her swollen clit then let his tongue gently pass over it.
He felt her tremble when he took it between his lips and started sucking on it a little.

Her legs started moving up and down then around his head, while his hands held her cheeks as he ate her moistening pussy.
His tongue slipped in and out of her lips then gliding over her clit once more marking it for another assault by his lips.

He was driving her insane with his sucking and licking.
Every time she tried to move a little he pushed her closer to him and worked on her pussy more feverishly.
As his face pressed up against her pussy she met his lips with hers as she moved her butt up and down against his hungry mouth.

The burning desire in her was growing bigger and bigger with every pass of his tongue driving her mad with lust.
With both her legs now securely around his neck she twisted to her left until she managed to roll him on his back to mount his face.
Grabbing him with both her hands she started fucking his face, pressing down as hard as she could and feeling his sharp features biting into her erupting desires as his lips sucked on her clit as hard as he could.

She was now curled up in a ball around his head moving back and forth as fast as she could, grinding her raw cunt into his face until the world started spinning and a roar erupted from her lips before gushing all over his face
Her limbs slackened and found herself once more being rolled to her back where the relentless attack by his lips continued sparking a stream of eruptions within her mind, triggering a surge and awakening the beast.

Pulling both her legs back to his shoulder she shoved him not only off of her but across the room, slamming into the wall.
Miranda crawled off the bed hunger burning through her eyes.
His piercing eyes raged back at her.



Crawling on all fours she moved up between his legs staring at the ever-growing bulge in his jeans then reached out and grabbed it with her right hand pulling his body the rest of the way down to her.

She looked down at her prize, a drop of saliva ran from her lips dripping from her mouth to his jeans and staining them with her lust.
Hungry fingers grabbed at the belt buckle, fumbling until it parted and she opened it wide to get to the top button of his pants.
Opening the button she slowly pulled down the zipper and his thick cock sprung out grazing her lips.

Greer followed Henderson out of the room to the hallway and the body of the mangled woman grinning up at them.
Greer looked down the hallway to the open door at the other end.
“What’s down there “, Greer asked.
“The beginning I think”, answered Henderson as he wiped his lips with the back of his sleeve.

He was so thick she couldn’t get her fingers around his shaft and it was still getting harder and thicker with each of her strokes.
Releasing his cock she pulled off his pants and sat between his spread legs and returned to her stroking.
Bending down she ran her long slender tongue the length of his cock then down to his balls, parting them before taking each one in her lips.

Moving up on all fours she lowered her lips to the head of his cock taking it in her mouth slowly forcing it deeper and adjusting for its size.
His cock swelled to its full size in her mouth as her head slid it in and out between her lips.
She hungrily tortured the head of his cock, licking and biting it when she wasn’t sucking while pulling at his balls.
It’s warmth made her mouth water and she could feel the blood surging through his shaft, almost taste it.

Releasing his cock from her grasp she stood up and parted with the tattered remains of her clothes then straddled his body.
Slowly she lowered herself onto his waiting cock, guiding it between her legs and into her beckoning inferno.
Slowly she rocked back and forth taking a little more of him each time until with one last push she took him all, impaling herself on his hard cock.

He took her by the hips and she rode his cock and pushed up meeting her with his thrusts.
He could feel the beast inside her and knew it was only a matter of time before it would make its appearance.
She had picked up her pace and was now crashing down on him, pounding his body into the floor.
Throwing her head back she felt the eruption moving from the pit of her center of being through her body until it burst from her lips.
Blazing eyes look down before she collapsed on top of him.

Pushing her off, his slippery eel sliding out as she flopped next to him on the floor.
He stood up then pulled her off of the ground carrying her to the bed when he tossed her face down on it.
Spreading her legs apart he knelt between them then taking a leg in each hand and pulling her to him as he pushed his way back inside her.

His presence started to wake her senses up once more as he moved in deeper into her body.
His fingers digging into her thighs as he ram himself all the way in then pulled back to ram her brutally once more.
Picking up a steady rhythm he jolted her body with every thrust.

She arched her back, giving him the straightest path inside her as he pasted her ass red with his thighs.
Her head dropped down; looking past her dangling tits she could see his balls slapping her pussy getting her even more excited but she was running out of energy and would soon need to eat.

His head swam with ecstasy or was it madness, maybe both.
He fed off of her lust that drove him to fuck her like a raging beast as his pace picked up and he slammed his body into hers.
His hand reach under grabbing her tit, squeezing it with his fingers as his teeth sank into her back.
Her ass pushed hard against his cock as his fingers pinched her nipple hard.
They were both locked in a pushing contest.
Him trying to get more out of what he had and Miranda taking all she could get but she was weakening.

Pulling back out of her he reached down slipping two fingers inside her then started buttering the valley between her cheeks with her cum.
Knowing what was coming next her body shuddered with anticipation as his fingers passed over her with every stroke.
Cock in hand he moved behind her and started pushing himself inside her.
Her nails dug into the bed as he pushed past her guard and when he grasped her hips she knew this was going to be a wild ride.

The pain and pleasure exploded in her mind as he pumped her ass with his hard cock.
Her knees were beginning to weaken under the onslaught of his mad passion and couldn’t wait any more.
She had to take what she needed now while his adrenaline was at its peak.
As he wildly fucked her ass her features began to change away from hi, two long fangs extended from behind her lips.
Letting herself fall flat on the bed with her on top of him she waited until he rested his arm next to her then with a quick move shot her head out and sank her teeth into his arm.

A loud howl bellowed from his lips as she bit him
He tried to pull his arm away but she held in with a firm in her hand and mouth.
The pain shot through him electrifying his whole body and soul swelling him up in size.
His eyes blazed fire and his body expanded in size.
First his back and shoulders started to spread then thicken, his hands and fingers grew long and sharp, as did the fangs in his mouth.

As she sucked on his arm she started to feel his cock grow inside her, bigger than he was before, a lot bigger and his arm was getting bigger also.
Hairy too.
Just then it dawned on her.
Releasing her grip on his arm she pushed up quickly but was shoved back down and held there by a powerful hand.
She felt fear for the first time in her life.

The growl behind her grew louder and deeper as also was huge cock inside her.
The wind blew the curtains away from the window revealing the full moon up in the sky mocking her and she struggled to get away but yet, she didn’t want to either.
The beast-standing behind her had now sank his claws into her sides as he pounded her mercilessly.
Showing it in her as her ass came back to meet his thrusts.
Again she bit into the arm propped next to her and sucked the blood out of the dripping veins.

The pain turned to rage, which he delivered back to her with harder and faster thrusts until everything erupted before him and in his mind.
Pulling out his cum splashed across her back while his first load poured out from between her cheeks.

Greer walked up to the room and the door had been shattered out from the inside.
Stepping into room three his eyes automatically when to the bed.
The bed was covered in blood but there was no body.
Walking around to the other side to see if there was a body there but there wasn’t.
He turned around to Henderson and cave him a questioning look.

“ I know, we looked but didn’t find any one else”, said Henderson.
“We thought it might be the woman in the hallways blood”.
Somehow Greer doubted that.
Turning toward the door he stopped then bent down and picked up a red rose off of the floor.
Turning it in his fingers a couple of times he then put it on top of the dresser then walked out of the room.

Staggering back off the bed he stood in the middle of the room, cum still shooting from his erect cock.
The wind moved the curtains once more and the moonlight shone on his face driving his mind mad.
Shielding his face with his hand he ran for the door crashing through it.

“I’m here big boy’, oh yeah that’s what I call meat baby, come give momma some HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!” the woman down the hall screeched as she stood there naked slapping her cunt like a slab of meat.

With his cock still dripping he charged at her hitting her to the ground then digging her claws into her fat tits.
He ran his tongue over his ripe pussy a couple of times then bit her ripping it off before mounting her.

A slight movement caught his eye from the room off of the hallway.
Jumping off of her he quickly bashed through the opened door and spotted someone in a dress running for the window.
With a single leap he knocked her down and jump on her back.
Ripping the dress off he looked down confused at the two balls and cock hanging there so he tore them out of his way and went back to feeding his hunger.

“Did you see what that fucken bitch did to me and you, you fat fuck, you let the bitch bit my throats” Frankie yelled at the bartender.
“ I should go up there and punch her fucken lights in while she fucking that freak,” she swore.

Just then she saw the bartenders eyes bulge and almost pop out of his head before he duck behind the bar.
She turned just in time to see the biggest hairy dog she ever seen grab her by the throat and throw her across the room.



As she started getting up she was grabbed once more and thrown onto a table where her clothes were torn off of her body and tossed aside.

Without warning something huge was being forced into her pussy painfully and she knew she was being fucked by a monster when she almost passed out, after a few minutes she couldn’t feel anything anymore.

He looked down as he fucked her and remembered something through the raging storm in his head.
Then her remembered, he bent down and twisted her head around.
She had a pretty face.

Greer stood by the table downstairs where he first walked into the nightmare.
Just them Henderson walked up to him and introduced two FBI agents that had been assigned to the case.
“This is special agent Wolf and his partner special agent Valdez”, reported Henderson.

They all shook hands.
“So what brings the FBI here tonight”, asked Greer.
“Mass killing, the head office wants us to look in on it”, said Wolf.
“Well then knock yourselves out and don’t forget to go upstairs”, said Greer.

Henderson and Greer stood by downstairs for forty-five minutes before the agents came walking back downstairs again.
Wolf walked over and told Greer that they would like copies of their report and they could send it to him or to his partner Miranda Valdez.

Greer watched them both leave and then noticed that Valdez had a red rose tucked into her cleavage.

Happy Halloween

Walker

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Is Here And Hell The Same? ©

Post more often says Boxer and Luka.
I want to but I don’t have time to read blogs thus refuse to post.
I’m kind of weird that way.
I throw one up on Last Soul every now and then but that stuff pours out of me in five minutes as apposed to a few hours working on one of these.

“Hey, D1 do you mind if I play my music”.
“Yeah whatever, if you can call that music”?
Fucken kids

What have I been up too?
Going through crap many of you are going through or have.
If you haven’t and will be going through it later in life then may I say?

RUN!!!!!

Run for your lives or your sanity, which ever you treasure the most.

My life has been mayhem for the last few months.
I can’t seem to be able to escape it; it just follows me around like a curse.
D2 and I are not seeing eye to eye and she’s pushing back.

I’m afraid she is leaning in the wrong direction and pointing it out to her falls on deaf ears.
Yeah I know those years and how I was but I at least was street smart, she just jumping off cliffs without looking over the side first.
Her sister went out of her way to get her a job working part time at the same place she is working which would have put at least six hundred bucks a month in her pocket but she colored her hair instead knowing they wouldn’t hire her with her hair being the way it looks today.

She turns 18 this month and that means her allowance goes to zero.
The job would have put money in her pockets and padded her resume for when she finished school and went looking for a job she would like but no…

Their mother, my EX is still around.
Seems she escaped from her country love nest and was in town to haunt me.
She had called D1 and told her she wanted to come by to see her on Wednesday and she did.
Not only did she come by but also she brought the Pomeranian from hell along with her.
Her BF doesn’t like dogs so the dog was tied outside in the country fighting off raccoons and skunks through the night every day and now looked mean with hair all over the place along with the attitude to go with it.
Looked like a pissed off Gene Simmons.



She comes in and they sit in my living room.
Me, I went back to the basement to finish off hanging a shelf for D1’s art studio.
When I came upstairs D1 asked me about drinks for her Halloween party that they are holding at my house.
Oh yeah, it’s going to be a fun month.

So I showed her a few and she tasted them with her mother.
D1 didn’t like them but her mother drank hers and D1’s then drained the shaker.
Some things never change.

We talked for a few minutes and I went back downstairs to my work leaving them upstairs to talk.
About an hour later I come upstairs and find the ex in my kitchen pouring out what was left of the sour apple schnapps into the shaker with what looked like about six ounces of vodka and started shaking it up.

I’m not a big drinker like I used to be so I have a couple of bottles in the cupboard just in case something comes up where a drink is needed but this isn’t one of them.
I walk in and she looks at me then starts laughing.
Me I’m thinking “Be nice, it’s only booze”.
I could see the vodka was down about a pint and the sour apple schnapps was sour no more.

I asked her what she was doing and she said she thought I wouldn’t mind.
Would I mind?
Let’s see.
She got drunk, and then she stabbed me.
Another time she got drunk and bludgeoned me in my sleep with the empty bottle.
Set me up which ended up really ugly for six cops and me.

When she is sober she is skipping in her own world.
“Yeah I mind if your drink my booze”.
I look at D1 and told her that her mother was her responsibility then went downstairs hoping when I came up next she would be gone.

Thirty minutes later I came back up and my EX was passed out on the couch with the demon dog snarling at me chained to my coffee table.
D1 was nowhere in sight.

Great.
Remember this is the woman who accused me of raping her for nearly 20 years.
I walk around the dog and call to her.
She mumbled something then slid down the couch.
I got a little closer and Gene showed me his ugly teeth; I called to her to wake up but nothing.

Fuck

I move in and the fucken dog jumped at me and I grabbed him by the throat and held him there snarling at my hand while I was trying to shake her awake.
She started to stir and half opened her eyes.
I told her she had to go home.
She said she couldn’t stand.
D1 was going to here about this I thought to myself.

I told her to push herself up off the floor and onto the couch at least.
She did then passed out again.
Letting the dog go I went to the kitchen to wash the slobber off of my hand.
Good thing she got the dog fucken shots.

There was nothing I could do but let her sleep.
I went back in and told her she could sleep it off.
She asked if she could use the middle bedroom.
Umm, NO!!!!!!!

I had the rooms already set up for Inia’s kids who were coming for Canadian Thanksgiving and the last thing I needed was her puking all over it.
She pukes after she drinks.
I let her pass out on the couch for about an hour when the fucken dog starts whining.
Damn dog had to go for a fucken piss and she was out like a light.

I walk into the room and he starts snarling at me but it was either take him out or watch him piss all over my carpet.
I grab at the lease and he came at me but I shoved him off and the second time I grabbed and pinned him to the floor while I undid the quadruple knot.

Untied I dragged him to the door and swung him out, down the stairs and let him chase me across the street to the grass.
The little fucker can snarl and pee at the same fucken time.
On the way back we played kick the head and bite the ankle.
After getting the dog re-secured to the leg of the coffee table I went to my computer and dropped into the seat.
It wasn’t long before Inia came on line and asked “How was your day”?
Ha, it’s passed out on the couch.

So I told her what was going on.
She was laughing, thought it was funny.
That’s ok, I’ll get even with the Magic Bullet post.



How many of you are now thinking, “I never thought of using it like that”.
They say you can make a meal in 10 second.
You can spin a buffet in fifteen “Wink”.

Yeah I know what you’re thinking.
Yeah sure, just like you told us about your friend who freaked out when he couldn’t find you.
I’ve been busy freaking out myself and besides I told him.
“Watch out”.
But he is a dumb ass.
He goes to Brazil Rio de Janeiro and asks some guy in a car he wants to go see the statue of Christ on the mountain with his arms stretched out.
Thirty minutes later he found himself at the foot of the statue with his arms stretched out while the guy took all his money from his pockets, leaving him there to walk back.

I told him before he left that he was to stupid to go to South America.
Catholic school teacher that he is he had to go be with the other Catholics.
“No”, he said “They are nice god fearing catholic people there”.
So is the Mafia.

He hides for a week in his hotel room until the day he is to leave but he is not going home.
No, he takes off for a month to Venezuela where he has rented a house for a month.
The second day there he is kidnapped at knifepoint as he is walking down the street at night.
As they are racing down the street in this little car he says he opened the door and fell out.
The car stopped and they jumped out after him.
He said he ran down the street past people as his kidnappers chased behind.
He ran down an alley and duck into this restaurant/dance club where they only dance the Tango.
He hid out there for a few hours before going back to the house he had rented.
I asked him what he did after that.
He said he only went out in the morning to get supplies and hid in the house until the day came for his flight to leave.

He said he called but I wasn’t home, like I could have helped other than telling everyone one his story.
I told him he should have called his travel agent.

Around 1 am the EX started to stir on the couch so I told Inia I would be back and went in to see if she was ready to leave.
I said, “are you sober now”, and she said, “I have to puke”.
I knew it.
I moved quick, like the bionic man from the show and ran to the corner grabbing the hemp woven waste basket and tossing it side armed beaning her between the eyes just in time.
Hey, it was soft ok.
I didn’t know about the Snapple bottle in it.

After all of that she was wide awake and able to stand but wobbled a bit so being the gentle man that I am I offered to walk her half way home or as far as the most dangerous part of town at that time of the night.
She had nothing to worry about with Gene by her side little ankle biter that he was.

I told Inia I would be right back and led her out the door.
First thing I did was step on a bag of shit she had left on the first step when she got here.
Fuck, at least she picks it up.

We start walking down the street for about two blocks in silence and she asks if she could ask me something.
If it keeps her walking I’m game so I say sure.

“I don’t think I love the new BF”.
“HUH”?!

No, no, no, "can I ask you something" means you need to know how the remote works.

“ I love the way he eats my pussy and he drives me nuts but he can’t make me cum”.
“Walk faster”!

“ I think I still love the old guy, he doesn’t eat me out but he can make me cum just by fucking me”.
“Why is that dog slowing down”?!

“Here we are; I hope you have a safe trip the rest of the way”?
“What do you think I should do”?
“Duck tape a vibrator to the Hoover and live happily ever after”.

Have a nice day

Walker

Monday, October 05, 2009

The Better Mouse Trap ©

I’m sitting here the other day looking down on Frick telling him how much of a spoiled little fucker he was.
How he is always bugging me to open a new can of food for him all the time even when I just finished opening one up for him that he hasn’t touched yet.

Turns his nose up to it and comes back to scratch at my arm.
It doesn’t start like that.
The LOUD meowing is first.
I guess he is voicing his disapproval like you kid does sometimes when she is getting frozen pizza instead of pizzeria pizza.

When that doesn’t achieve the desired result he begins head butting the side of the couch hoping that might jar me off.
It’s when that, doesn’t work the Ninja claws come out.
Frick’s a student of the scratch and run method.
Coincidentally he runs towards his food bowl.

Most times I ignore him.
Sometimes I tell him to fuck off.
That seems to fuel his efforts though.

But there has been occasion, like this one the other day when I grab the little pecker licker and give him a long winded lecture about the cost of smelly cat food and how I just can throw away food he has decided he doesn’t like any more.
I mean the cat’s only has one tooth, how picky can he get.
He looses that tooth and I’ll have to go out to buy him a Magic Bullet to mash his food.

So I tell him that there is no fucken way he is getting a new can and if he doesn’t like it he can go catch his own dinner.
He just put his head down and walked away.

The next morning he has a dead mouse at the foot of the TV.
I mean, he’s a house cat, where the fuck did the mouse come.
My parents have been saying they think they had a mouse next door but there has been no evidence here of any until Frick brought me this breakfast special.

I take a paper towel and walk next door to my parents place to tell them they were right about the mouse/mice.
I walk into their kitchen and I find Ma Walker with a long poofy duster looking serious about killing a dust bunny and Pa Walker holding a broom like it was a sub machine gun.

I asked them what the fuck they were doing and my mother said a mouse ran across the floor and behind the entertainment center.
So the Walker gang loaded up for dust and was on the prowl.
I told them about how the cat just killed one and showed them the paper towel.
My father nodded his head and said it was my fault because I have a fish tank.
Oh yeah, it like Niagara Falls for mice at my place.

I stood there watching what they were doing.
My father was poking behind everything trying to flush it out so my mother could dust the little fucker away.

I told my father there were some traps he could just buy that would make it a lot easier than going Rambo and Rambina but he was determined to be the great white hunter.
After a few minutes I said I was leaving and exited the kitchen to the back shed.
It was on the outside deck that I heard my mother yell, “There he goes” and then the crashing sound of breaking glass.
I walked back into the kitchen and they were both arguing that it was the others fault for the broken vase; I think it was a vase.

I left them to their finger pointing and came back home to spend the day watching Frick prance around like the king of the beast with his first kill ever.
Yes Frick, you are the perfect mousetrap but I’m still not opening a new can.

Have a nice day

Walker