Wanderings Of A Mad Man ©

Before I head into my post I wanted to wish Vickie and Carl a Happy Anniversary.
Twenty-nine year and neither one of them has been arrested for murder or even attempted murder of their respective spouse, that’s got to be something special.
Well who shouldn’t it be, they are two special people especially to me.
Their lives have been a roller coaster this last month but I have to commend them for their fortitude to persevere no matter what is thrown in their path.
Their love of life and family and each other pushes them forward to see what tomorrow will bring them, I hope it’s all sunny skies for a long time.
Happy Anniversary Vickie and Carl
Here is a slow song for the both of you to dance to.

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So, what should I write about?
Sex……. Something Funny ………. Something serious, I have it all in my head and my life.
OH, maybe a bit of a scandal?!
Oh hold on there is someone at the door………………
Scandal, what scandal, did I say scandal no no, I meant sandal.
Yeah ummm I lost my sandal, ha ha ha it’s a funny story, I’ll tell you about it one day when I make up remember the story.
Let’s just wander around in my head and see what we can find.
Scared yet, you should be.

I was reading the neighbourhood rag the other day, that’s the neighbourhood newspaper not the hooker on the corner and I came across this add in the What’s Happening in Walkersville section.
It says:
Women new to Walkerville are invited to the next monthly social event at the Walkerville Newcomers Club.
Phone xxx xxx-xxxx for details.
A great way to make new friends.

How nice is that?
I don’t know if this is a legitimate club but I got to wonder, why only new women to Walkerville, why not any new people who have moved into the city male or female.
I know I am the suspicious sort but you got to wonder people.
It could be a way to snatch women that haven’t had the opportunity to meet people and wouldn’t be missed if the disappeared.

Maybe it’s some geek that can’t get a date.
They are smart little fucks and could come up with something like this.
The woman calls up the number.
She is told that the club will be meeting at Alfonso’s Restaurant at 6:30 pm.
The geek will have his other geeky friends hiding around the corner with digital cameras ready to get pictures as evidence that one of them actually got a date.

This might be a lesbian group looking for fresh meat, I better call my friend K and see what she thinks.
K is gay and she could give me her thoughts from her point of view.

Hey K, it’s Walker.
Fine and you?
How’s the boy, really, well it’s about time

So listen, did you get the neighbourhood paper?
Yeah that one, open it to page 23.
What do you mean you don’t have it?
It’s not a crappy paper.

Ok then let me read you this and tell me what you think?
Women new to Walkerville are invited to the next monthly social event at the Walkerville Newcomers Club.
Yeah only women
Yeah there is a number
Why, what do you need the phone number for?
You’re not new to Walkerville; you’ve been here for thirty years.
NO, going to Toronto and back for the weekend doesn’t count.
Nope I’m not
Go get it out of your paper, oh but you threw that out didn’t you, ha ha see you for Dim Sum at the end of the month BYEEEEEEE.
She thinks a lot like me sometimes
This may just be a legit club but you have to admit, it does look suspicious.

For the last week I have being going next-door and packing up the computer store that my brother has.
He will be closing it in a couple of months but I figure to start slowly now because knowing him as I do he will spring the help me on the last day and there is a lot of stuff in there and I don’t want to be killing myself on the last minute.

I started by taking down the racks in the washroom first.
He has these nice racks about six feet in length that would go well in my mothers basement and she could be rid of those things my father built that he calls shelves.
As I took down the toilet paper I emptied the medicine cabinet.
Toothpaste, razor, aftershave, a unopened toothbrush, pregnancy test, Q-tips, Liquid soap………. A Pregnancy test……..
Huh

Is there something my parents didn’t tell me a long time ago?
WTF is he doing with that?
I wonder if my parents explain the birds and the bees to him?
I emptied the rest of the washroom expecting to find tampons at any moment.
You never know what you will find when you least expect it.

I was out looking for some parts for the light that broke and found myself in this new antique store I have never been in.
It was something else.
I walked into the store and this old man smiled and came over to me, they way he was dressed reminded me of some of those old movies where there was an expedition to some dark mysterious land.

I told this very old man I like buying interesting pieces that border on the weird and bizarre to write stories for.
He immediately took me to the back and started showing me some VERY interesting pieces that may be coming home with me in the near future.
Then he tells me he has some other stuff downstairs in the basement.
I looked at him a little suspiciously and then he said his assistant will take me down there and called out for Sam.

I stood there wondering what Sam looked like.
Was he a big black man from the depths of Africa or maybe an Arab covered with superstition?

Sam walked around the corner and in the room; Sam was something else.
Sam was about twenty five years old, tall, wearing a shirt that was open almost to the bottom with a beautiful set of tits begging to slip out, or at least I was hoping they would.
She was wearing a tight pair of shorts that fit her like a snug glove.

He told her to take me to the basement and show me the stuff in some corner down there.
Smiling to me she told me to follow her then turned and walked away with me in tow.
I followed her tight butt to the basement and way to the back where she stopped in front of this object covered with a tarp.
Pulling the tarp off she stepped back into the shadows gesturing me forward so I could see what had been concealed.
I looked at her as she stood there in the shadows and I was sure her eyes glowed for a second.
Turning, there in front of me was the massive carving on what looked like soapstone.
It was about five feet tall and four wide.
It was a beautiful mermaid sitting on a rock but the look on her face and in her eyes was amazing.
Her eyes ushered you closer, to reach out and touch the smooth curves of her body.

Sam walked around the statue and let her hand slide over the smooth stone of the mermaid’s arm, up and over her shoulder and rested on her beautiful breast.
I looked at Sam’s hand as it rested there then up at her face.
She looked familiar.
Her eyes were sexy, deep blue like the ocean.
I look down at the statue once more and at her face again and stopped, look up at Sam and then back at the statue.
It looked just like Sam, even her tits were perfect to the mermaids.
She put both arms around the statue and slowly caressed it’s like a lover.
I asked her how much for the statue.
Her fingers passed over its nipples and licked her lips and she told me the price.
The car turned over and I headed north and back home.
As I drove on I looked at the item next to me.
It was what I was looking for so I bought it.
The statue of the mermaid……….. they wanted $4,600 for it, I don’t care if Sam threw in a blowjob and a fuck, I wasn’t going to pay $4600 for it, but I did get something and I will have an Antique story soon.

Have a nice day

Walker