Gobble Gobble ©

Hey Walker, can turkeys fly?
Ok put that joint down and step back away from the table.

I couldn’t believe a 50 year old man actually asked me that fucken question.
Didn’t you see that WKRP episode where Mr Carlson dropped turkeys from a helicopter over a parking lot and watched them flap at 100 miles an hour into the crowd below expecting a free turkey surprised?
Well they got one.
The French chefs were spewing.
No NO !!!!!
That is not how you make pressed turkey.

No Rick, turkeys don’t fly but pigs do.
Now why would he ask me a stupid question like that?
Well it seems his friend has wild turkeys that fly all around the house and on top of the trees.
When he tried to scare them off they turn on him and chase him into the house.
Not only does he have flying turkeys but they bite.
Attack of the Killer Turkeys.
Now I don’t claim to being intelligent but the basics I pretty much know and turkeys can’t fucken fly so when he said he was off to see his friend I was in the car first.
I had to see these flying turkeys that attack you but then again if there is a man holding a jar of mayonnaise in one hand running at you I could understand the turkey’s point of view.

It took us 45 minutes to get there.
He lives just outside of the city.
When we got there his friend came out and lets us in.
Rick tells him that I don’t believe that there are flying turkeys so he leads me through the house and out the back door.
There is this huge maple in the back and we walk towards it and just then this big bird goes up and down towards us.
“WTF is that”?
I didn’t get an answer because the host was cutting a path towards the patio doors like Speedy Gonzales.

Now I may admit I am not that intelligent but I am not stupid either so I take off for the door.
We are now safe in the house and this large bird walks up to the house.
I am telling you this sucker was big, bigger than a turkey it looked like a turkey some what.
It looked like a eagle fucked a turkey and got this hideous evil looking Ozzy creature..
They both start telling me how right they were and that turkeys can fly.

You see this is what happens when city people move to the country so they can save money on rent.
The see things they would never know about in the concrete jungle and you know……. something’s you need to experience first hand, now I want to go home.

I looked at the host and asked him if he had any pets.
He said he had a cat but hadn’t seen her in a while.
Yeah well, I don’t think he is going to see that cat again.
Poor cat probably though chasing pigeons was fun until his master brought her here to be eaten by Flying Turkey VULTURES.
They were not turkeys they were turkey vultures and they were looking for Thanks Giving dinner and not to be dinner.
Flying turkeys, what a bunch of bone heads.
They introduced turkey vultures to the region to take care of the road kill but they found that fresh pet meat was tastier so now there is a problem with people loosing pets.
I wanted to slap both of them in the head, I told him to call the wildlife people and they may be able to help with his flying turkey problem.

*****************************

Week five of the football season and we have just finished our negotiating for this weeks up coming football bet.
For those of you how missed last weeks results……..I won. “Sticks tongue out”

This weeks bet is……..the looser writes a post on his/her favourite player on the other team and why he is the best player in the whole league.
HA piece of cake since my second favourite team is the 49ers.
Good luck Monica.

*****************************

I am still having my computer woes but the new unit has been shipped and is on its way so enjoy the peace while you can.
I haven’t forgotten anyone I just can open many of your sites with the laptop.
I should have just told everyone to email them to me. Duhhhhhh.

*****************************

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in Canada so I would like to wish all of my Canadian brothers and sisters a Happy Thanksgiving and to my American friends a happy Columbus Day. CHEERS

We should always remember as we look around the world, there is much to be thankful for.

Have a nice day.



Walker