Part Two: The Wall ©

I picked up Buddy’s partner and drove to the hospital to see him.

We walked into intensive care and there he was, on a bed in an induced coma.

It seems that during the operation blood had leaked into his abdomen and to make matters worse he had contracted C difficile.

It was like a scene from a sci-fi show.

Above him were 2 large tv monitors showing all sorts of readings and hanging on a tube frame wall behind him there were no less that 16 IVs pouring all sorts of fluids into him.

All the tubes ran to a manifold taped to his arm where nurses would inject medications.

It was the first time I ever seen him without a smile.

His partner pulled up a chair beside him and wrapped herself around his arm while I sat there wondering where it all went wrong.

When my mother battled through cancer I used to have to drive her to the hospital every so ofter to get chemo.

I remember I wasn’t allowed in back with her so she ended up sitting there alone until one day Buddy showed up and sat with her knowing she was my mother and every time after that he was there when she went for chemo.

That’s what he did 2 days a week.

He helped people get through what they were going through and giving them some hope and comfort just by being there for them.

After the whole experience with my mother, Buddy and I became closer friends.

We still fought about money.

He trying to give it to me and me refusing.

He knew I didn’t get much from disability but I felt obligated to him for what he did for my mother and my brother had borrowed a large sum of money from him once that he never paid back which I felt guilty about.

I know it wasn’t me but…. You know what I mean.

Then there was the friendship thing and I didn’t want his damn money.

He tried to sucker me into taking ten thousand dollars once to pay off all of my debts and I walked out of the bank on him.

In the end we compromised.

I promised if I needed money I would ask and a couple of times I did.

100 here and 100 there……

That irritated him so every now and again he would show up at my door with a new laptop for me with the excuse that it was on sale so he got it for me because I needed a good working unit to fix his identical laptop.

Old people are sneaky and don’t forget it.

I never and will ever allow money to step between friendships and in times of need my friends have rallied around me as back up with their wallets open and I have refused them because to many times I have seen money poison relationships.

We made a funny pair when we went out together.

He was 23 years my senior but you wouldn’t know it.

Tall and wore suits, shirts and tie, hair always cut short.

I’m big, burly with curly hair halfway down my back.

He’s religious, I’m not.

He and his partner square danced.

Square dance……………..wtf?

He used to bring me boxes of square dancing dvds with a spool of blanks and had me making copies for all of these people in his group.

I never met any of them but they all knew me and loved me it seems.

So much so after their meetings they used to send me these huge platters of sandwiches they would order and NEVER eat.

I mean, maybe about 20 12 inch subs.

I asked him once why do they buy so many when they don’t eat them.

Actually a case of Ensure would probably be better for them since most of them were into the 70s and up.

He just said just in case they were hungry.

The doctor came into the room, looked at me and walked to Buddy’s partner.

He told her they had to make decisions on how to proceed.

She told the doctor she was waiting on Buddy’s nephew who lived 500 miles away and had power of attorney in case something happened to him but he would be be in that afternoon to talk to the doctor.

To be continued…..

Have a nice day

Walker

The Fly ©

July 19 2018 is a day I will never forget.

That is the day, “Buddy”, one of my best friends had asked me to drive him to the hospital for a routine heart valve repair.

I still remember the smile on his face as the nurse led him away.

I drove his partner home where she was to wait until the next day to find out how it all went.

I have known Buddy for over 18 years through my brothers computer store as he was a frequent customer.

He was terrible with computers.

I mean he used to get every virus out there and a couple I am sure just mutated on his computer through some vile digital orgy.

Then my brother closed down and went on to some other field to make money leaving Buddy out in the cold.

Until he rang my doorbell one day desperately seeking computer help.

I knew he was a nice guy so I showed him in and looked at his big heavy desktop computer.

Am I happy they are GONE.?

YESSSS!!!!

So I looked it over while rubbing A535 on my arm and realized his was crawling with viruses so I kept it for the night and the next day gave it back to him and told him no charge.

He balked at that but he was talking to the door as I had shut it and gone back in to smoke a joint.

That evening I mentioned this to my brother and he told me he would be back and I could make a lot of money off of the old man because he always screwed up his computer.

A couple of days later, he was back at my door carrying HAL.

Same problem as the last time.

I fixed it and dang if he wasn’t back.

Same problem over and over again.

I stopped charging him.

I mean, there was nothing really wrong with the computer.

It was him I had to fix.

He used to download anything that said free on it and with all that came the viruses.

After I got him to stop downloading shit I took him out to buy a new lighter computer and a virus protector.

I set him up so well I KNEW I wasn’t going to see him again, at least not for a LONG time, and I was right, sort of.

A month went by and one day the doorbell rang, he was standing there smiling back at me.

That’s something I got to tell you about Buddy, he smiled all the time.

He was a quiet man.

Soft spoken with a dry sense of humour, well over 6 feet tall.

I look around for a computer but there was nothing but a case of beer.

He said he had gone to the beer store for some beer for himself and bought me one and then left.

Just like that.

Poof, gone.

I don’t want you to think he is weird in any peculiar way or even  eccentric.

He was a nice person all the way to the core.

He had a PHD in engineering and worked for years in the States before moving back here to work for the government.

He was a very smart man, just not with computers.

His grandfather was a missionary in the Far East for 30 years and his father a paster all of his adult life so he had a deep sense of religion.

So much so that he spent the last 20 years as a pastoral volunteer.

He was also an EMT volunteering 50 years of his life to the ski patrol.

Makes me wonder WTF I have done.

Two days later his partner called and I was excited and asked if he was ready to come home?

She tells me there were complications and things had taken a turn for the worse…..

To be continued…..

Walker

Catching Up Or Hell ©

I can’t believe people still come by here.

WHY?!!!

Actually, I cannot believe there are still as many bloggers as there are left.

Now, I haven’t defected to the dark side (Facebook)

Yes I have an account or three ….. what, someone has to keep an eye on those             fucken Russians.

No, I’m just tired.

The Grimm Reaper with his giant weed whacker has lay claim to 19 family members in the last two years and that takes a toll on one’s soul.

My mother lost both brothers leaving her the last one still kicking from her side of the family.

Aside from that, both my parents are still working hard around the house even though they are in their 90s which also means more work for me.

My father gardens and my mother bakes all the time so I spend a lot of time running back and forth from the various businesses to keep them running their endeavours.

They still drive me nuts.

For instance, the other day I stopped by my parents place in the morning and my father shoved this huge 5 pound container of “Coffeemate” I had just picked up for him towards me and said this is no good.

The previous evening my parents had a guest over so my father put on the coffee pot to make everyone a coffee.

When he had the coffee in the mugs he added a spoon of coffee mate in each and began to stir but instead of desolving it thickened up until it all looked like porridge.

I opened the container and looked at it and it looked ok but there was something familiar about it so I tasted it and looked at my father and asked him “what did you do with that 10 pound bag of pancake mix I bought you”?

I could see the dawning of realization filling his eyes.

Hmm he had used the old coffeemate container to store the pancake mix in and hadn’t marked it so when he added it to the coffee he was making coffee flavoured pancakes instead of cups of coffee.

I have somehow also inherited a bunch of other people that need to be taken here or there that have no one along with one of my best friends who was on his deathbed with no hope, suffering from kidney failure, heart and colon problems. They said he a day or two left.

I walked in and explained to him he owed me money and wasn’t allowed to check out until he paid me.

Some of the hospital staff thought it was funny and others thought it was insensitive but since that speech I gave him he has rebounded and his prognosis is long but hopefully.

Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

My kids are doing good.

One just got a great job with a future and the other is going to college to become a chef.

Me, I’m not aging gracefully but I refuse to stop being who I am and living my way.

I lost my favourite cat Salem do to a freak accident.

He ate a plant my mother asked me to hold inside for her over the winter and no sooner that I brought the stupid thing in he ran to it and chew some of the leaves and dropped dead from poisoning.

I will leave it at that because it got really ugly after that because I went to the place they sold these plants and ripped them a new one for selling dangerous plants without warning people of the dangers to pets and small children.

This years BBQ went on without a hitch.

Tons of food and booze with plenty of laughs.

We did take note of the ones not with us any more.

The priest did try to swipe my hat but he’s going to need a lot more help than his faith to get away with my lid while it’s still on my head.

So as you can see, little has changed in Walkers life.

How is this for catching up Sally?

Have a nice day

Walker

Enough Is Never Enough ©

I think it only right to follow up my last post.

Am I surprised that Trump won?

No, no I am not.

It doesn’t mean it was my choice and if I was an American with a vote he wouldn’t have gotten it.

I would have reluctantly given it to Hillary but would have rather voted for Bernie or even Rubio, but here is the thing.

The Donald, racist, rapist, misogynist, Nazi or any other label that has been hurled at him that he might be, won; and he won by the rules.

Yes she had more votes but that is your system and it’s the same one that elected Obama so suck it up buttercup.

You’re fucked like I had to live with Prime Minister Steven Fucken Harper for 11 years up here until we got rid of him.

The people are pissed Trump found an opening so he took it by appealing to rural communities who HAVE been ignored.

He bull shitted his way into their desires and told them he would take away their pain if they bought into his rhetoric.

Oh, I am only calling Trump a liar for the things I saw him say and deny with my own eyes not from what I have heard others say.

How will Trump rule?

I see the country in turmoil.

I see race wars.

I see social equality wars.

I see blue collar workers battling white collar workers.

The poor…..hmmmmm

Well you see, that’s a hard one because I figure by the time this is all over there will only be 2 classes.

The poor and the rich.

The middle class will be replaced by the police who will keep the rich safe from the poor.

Yes I have an overactive imagination and no I don’t believe this is going to happen in one election cycle but it can be the start of the avalanche unless …..

Unless the republican party can reign him in and of they can’t I wouldn’t be surprised if a coalition of Dems and Reps join to Impeach him…but then he would rally his supporters with his lying rhetoric and hit the streets.

 Oiiiiii…………..

You’re all fucked down there

What can I say

Welcome to Canada

Soon to be the land of the Lost American

Have a nice day

Walker

Enough Already ©

It’s been over a fucken year and this stupid election is still going on.

You people down south are nuts.

I mean, how much is this costing?

Trillions of dollars will be spent by the end of this and what will it accomplish, sweet nothings.

How many of you can’t afford health care?

Clinton’s going to win.

Trump is an idiot and is handing it over to her every time he opens his mouth.

The man has destroyed his own party.

I can’t find the words to describe the man.

Is he a commie, a fascist, racist, a psycho zealot with a dildo still stuck up his ass?

What is even more mind boggling is that the hard core republicans are not getting serious and going to war to save their party.

Instead they are either bailing ship or abstaining from it all.

Get the fuck out of here.

Where the hell is the pride of ones party?

The party is a family and if a member of your family goes astray in a extreme way; do you let it destroy your family or do you fight to save it?

If you are a republican and don’t like Trump, don’t vote for Clinton because you hate Trump. Vote for her if you believe in her platform if not vote Libertarian or Green.

In fact I don’t know why the disgruntled republican elite haven’t gathered an army of political power to back one of these other candidates that have some of their interests in mind.

Trump thinks that Canada was allowed to leave the United States…..

Actually he would be in favor of forcing us back.

I don’t know what to say.

I thought Sarah Palen was bad but Donald…

I guess if we wrote the short history version because Canada was part of the British Empire, the U.S.A. left Canada.

In fact in later years, 1812 to be exact we had another war where we burned down the White House.

Which you later burnt down ours in York, so we all broke even on that one.

This is grade 4 history for us in Canada Donald, did you get past kindergarten or are you still failing it?

I have said I like Trumps style of being blunt but I personally can’t agree with his views as a person living on this planet.

To the American people and to anybody in any country in the world, always vote and always vote with your conscience not you heart.

Politics makes me dizzy.

Society makes me crazy.

The world is going to hell

I can smell it in the air

See it in the news

If you don’t know what I am talking about then I can’t tell you

Me, I am waiting for that meteor with our name on it so I can climb the mountain with a bottle of scotch, a nice fat doobie and hope I get lucky and it lands at my feet.

Now that, would be a blast

Have a nice day

Walker

Trump Card ©

No ItisI not Facebook CNN.

I have been watching the politics down in the States for the last few months; let’s face it there is shit on anywhere else.

Trumpomania, I must admit I like his style I just think he’s an idiot where it comes to policy and being a people person.

He says he is a Republican but I suspect he is more fascist/communist/opportunist than capitalist.

If elected Trump would be the end of all we know.

How did Donald “Small Hands” Trump manage to be so popular among so many republicans?

Well, that’s a long story but I am surly positive it started with a lie tens of thousands of years ago.

It started with a person wanting to be elected boss and made more promises than he could keep therefore being forced to condemn those he basically lied to.

Since that first lie back in the stone age politicians have piled so many lies on top of each other the poor populace is all fucked up in the brain and tries to see the light despite the confusion not realizing the ground is rushing up to their face.

This is what Trumpomania is.

The people in the States have been lied to by so many politicians that they are running to the moron for help.

Trump’s rise to political power can be compared to the start of Hitler’s early beginnings.

Just look at what he said at the debate the other day.

“If I am President the military will do what I tell them to do and that’s final”.

Those are the words of a dictator, not a president.

There is only one main problem in the United States.

They are not “United” any more.

They are just plain “states” now.

They may have been the U.S.A. !!!!!

Now just, plain jane americans.

This isn’t Trumps fault.

No it’s the fault of the Cruzs, Clintons, Bushs, Obamas …. that came before them.

Politicians did this.

Lies upon lies to get elected.

Politicians have been fucking with peoples needs for so long that the people have resorted to flock in the wrong direction as did the German people did back in the 30s.

Government is suppose to be for the people by the people not for some of the people by the rich to control.

I listen to these candidates speak of strategy.

Who is going for the evangelical vote

Who is going after the African American vote.

Who is going for the Latino vote.

The gay vote.

The gun vote

AND THERE ARE MORE!!!!!!!

But you know, I have yet to see or hear one of them say I want to appeal for the American vote.

Black lives matter, all lives matter, get over it.

They say religion should have no part in politics but it does.

Big business should have no part in politics but Super packs drive the parties and candidates.

Lobby groups fund their man to vote their way not yours.

In my opinion, none of the politicians down there represent the American people.

They may represent some of them, maybe, but not all of them and that’s a fact.

I like Bernie Sanders but his ideas are to late.

You would need to start from scratch and that isn’t possible.

Is took 240 years to get here and it will probably take twice that long to fix it if that is possible.

Hillary Clinton, I don’t trust her but am willing to bet she has bigger hands than Trump. “wink”.

Rubio, why, for more of the same bullshit.

Cruz, ah yes, he could be the first Canadian President and we didn’t have to fire a shot.

Maybe we can change all the stars to little maple leafs on the flag.

Trump…….how suicidal are you.

A divided people can not make a country.

They can only fan the flames of discontent.

I think it’s time the people of what was a great nation stepped outside of their homes and hand in hand tell their politicians what they want and to make it happen.

Don’t fool yourself, they can.

Billions are being spent on these caucuses.

Billions that could be spent helping people now.

The people is what made your country great and the politicians are the ones who fucked it up.

The solutions to most of your problems are at hand but your politicians are to busy playing chess with the rest of the world to take a few steps back to solidify what they are loosing a grip on.

It’s people.

On a closing note, as a Canadian and neighbor to the United States, I do care what happens south of the border for many reasons but mostly for my American friends.

Have a nice day

Walker

Blown Away ©

Remember that show, Kids say the darndest things hosted by the Ex nice guy Bill Cosby.

You know when your kids come up with shit when they are like 5 or 6 years old that leaves you dumbfounded just before you give yourself a hernia from laughing so hard.

Well, it doesn’t stop at that age, in fact from what I can tell it only gets more…. what’s the word I am looking for…… complicated.

I have an open relationship with my kids and or any kid if they have the guts so come and ask me the hard questions.

Now, I have a thicker skin than most but not by much so I have to suppress a lot of emotions that come naturally to a parent so that I can be in the loop for my kids when they really need me.

That said, my 24 year old stopped by the other day to tell me what happened around Valentines Day.

She now lives with her boyfriend so she decided to do something romantic for them on Valentines Day and maybe a little naughty.

Yes my kids talk to me about the sex issues not their mother.

“I went to the sex shop the other day”.

“WHAT”!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You went to Wicked Wanda’s without me”?

“You know how much I love that store”.

“Who was behind the counter, was it the tall blond with the big tits or the raven hair goddess with the round ass”?

“It was the the chubby one”.

“Ah yes, Raul”.

“No, it was the chubby girl”.

“Yeah Raul, he’s a transsexual”.

“You mean a girl pretending to be a guy”?

“No, a guy being a woman”.

“You mean the whole time I was asking questions to a guy”.

“Well, if you want to call Raul a guy, I guess, yeah”.

“So what did you buy”?

“Really he’s a guy”?
”Yeah, yeah, get over it and tell me what did you buy”.

“I bought coffee flavoured lubricant”.

“Ah, so you like flavour of coffee”?
”Not really but the boyfriend does”.

“I see, but usually the person using it gets the flavour they like”.

“Why”?

“Well if you’re going to put some in your mouth to lubricate his cock you would think you would like to taste a flavour that appeals to you”.

“WHAT”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

“I just put it on my lips to kiss him”.

“Oh……..did you slide off his face”?

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, I just realized she told me she used it an loved how it tasted”?

“You mean Raul”?

“EWWWWWWWW………..”

The oldest called me the other day.

''Hi Dad''

"Hey, How’s it going"?

"The boyfriend wants to have kids".

"AH, I see".

"I don’t know what to do"?

"Well, you got to get naked first".

"NO, I know that part, I don’t want kids".

"Then don’t get naked……."

Kids, it never ends

Have a nice weekend

Walker

Still Kicking ©

Where do the years go?

It’s funny, only yesterday I was 16 and thinking how long it will be before I hit 40 and now I am 56.

We spent so much time chasing the seconds, the years slip away.

Every year I reflect on the year gone by before I stow it away

I assess what I started with and what I have left from the year before then weigh it against what is new.

What does it all add up to in the end?

The answer is simple.

You survived another year.

Have a nice day

Walker

Hospitalville ©

It’s 8 am and I’m sitting here stoned and looking at another 5 rolled joints.

Today I am taking a break from life.

The cats are joisting in the corner with the smallest one winning by the looks of it.

I feel like a general who has been winning all the battles but loosing the war

 On top of what responsibilities I had I have had to help a couple of friends in need, morally and physically being there for some tough news.

Last month as I was watching the TV around 10pm I get a call from a friend who is not feeling well.

I have been telling her for years she has to quit drinking.

She drinks no less than a litre of wine in a few hours, gets drunk and passes out.

She says her nose has been bleeding for hours and won’t stop and she doesn’t feel so good.

So I get up and drive over to her place.

Using the spare keys she left with me in case something ever happened I walk in and find her sprawled on the floor trying to get up.

Hauling her ass up she puts on her outer gear and we climb the stairs from her tomb apartment to the outside where she throws up and stream of blood across the white snow.

I’m thinking this can’t be a good thing.

I put her in the back seat and peeled off actually more like slid off to the hospital.

Pulling up to emergency I mostly carried her to reception where the nurse put her in a wheelchair and asked us to wait in the reception area.

In the reception area there were about 50 people already there waiting to see a doctor.

I hate this.

First I hate hospitals yet I find myself always in one for someone else.

Then there is the 6-8 hour wait in emergency.

Why do they even call it that I don’t know for a place for an emergency they should take a long time getting to you.

So we are sitting next to these people who she starts convulsing and projectile vomit flies out of her mouth all of which is red and black blood clots.

I mean., lots AND LOTS OF IT.

I freaked out but not as much as the rest of the people in the room as they watchthe growing lake of blood around us on the floor.

When I looked around the room people got so scared the ran out of emergency probably thinking there were in the presence of an Ebola carrier.

I the nurses ran over and rushed her off to the back where they started to undress her.

I sat on the other side of the curtain waiting.

After a few hours they determined, she was anaemic hence the nose bleeds and because she hadn’t pinched her nose properly the blood was running down her throat and pooling her stomach then she would puke it out.

That wasn’t her only problem,
She was going through alcohol with drawls and her body started shaking uncontrollably.

It took three of us to hold her down until they could strap her into the bed.

After some blood work they drugged her up and put her on a saline drip.

That’s when I turned and left the hospital only to find a forty-dollar ticket on the car.

In the morning 7 am to be exact the phone rings, it’s buddy and he needs to go to the hospital.

Are you fucken kidding me and he has to go to a hospital at the other end of town.

Pardon me while I have another joint.

Is 9 am to early for a beer?

Yeah, maybe, I’ll have a scotch instead…..

ARG!!!!!

Single malt scotch after Kellogg’s cornflakes don’t go so well.

Oh yeah much better now

LA LA LA

Oh, oh yeah, so here I am at 7am dragging my arse out of bed, fighting with two cats for my pants and one who likes untying my boot while I am tying up the other one.

Twenty minutes later I am in the hospital waiting room of yet another hospital.

I swear if he started puking blood……..

Eight hours later I drive him home.

As I was driving off I figured I would go to the other hospital to see how my other friend was doing.

I had called her son the night before to inform him his mother was at the hospital.

They don’t always get along and it’s mostly because of her drinking.

Parking the car in the lot this time I marched through emergency towards the restricted area where I gauged me steps to someone walking towards the door from the other side so that when they opened the door and walked through a step passed them and into the back without the hassle of being told I wasn’t on her family list.

Walking past rows of full beds I find hers.

Curtain wide open she is sitting on the side of the bed, topless and in a jumbo diaper.

At that moment all I could think of was Homer Simpson.

Hello, a little common decency would be fucken nice.

I walked into the cubical and asked how she was.

No answer.

I looked into her eyes and she was totally out of it.

I was jealous.

Turning I took a hospital robe from a cart and covered her tits then pushed her back onto the bed and covered the bottom of her body.

Inside I was pissed and wanted to rip someone apart for how I had found her but I just sat there and waited for someone to show up which they did.

After I got the report from the doctor I put in my ten cents of what I found and how people should be treated.

He wasn’t amused with what I told him I found but I don’t expect him to care much either.

That evening my mother called screaming my father was dieing.

I am out the door and next door in a blink

My father was grasping the counter trying to stay up with my mother crying and freaking out next to him.

He has had the flu and I took him to the doctor just that day and he was told he had the flu and bronchitis.

He was prescribed medication and was told it would take a few days for them to kick in.

My parents being well into their 80’s any small incident to them is dieing.

My father is worse.

All the way back from the doctors he is telling me, “ I am dieing”

We all are I tell him but he says he is dieing now.

At home that day I laid out his medications and told them what to take and when.

Easy peazy for the average person but Greek immigrants are not average.

Antibiotics for the bronchitis once a day

Benadryl for his throat and the chest congestion 3 times a day

3 puffs from the inhaler 2 times a day

Pepto for his stomach

Tylenol 3 times a day.

Easy right?

My mother gives him 1 Tylenol for the whole day

Syrup once for the whole day

3 puffs from the wrong inhaler

Instead of pepto for his upset stomach she gives him Galveston, which does the opposite and traps all the gas in my father who is now bloating like the Pillsbury doughboy.

I call for an ambulance because he really thinks he is cashing in his chips.

I also called my brother to tell him the old man is in trouble but he said he was busy watching the Leafs game at the bar and would call my SIL to come down, no, I didn’t call her, he is his father.

Now I am pretty stressed out.

I haven’t really slept in days and all this hospital shit is getting to me.

The Paramedics got there quick and had set up shop next to my father in under ten minutes of my call,

It helps living 2 blocks away.

By the time my SIL showed up with my niece they had determined he OK to stay home and if things seemed worse they would rush right over.

That’s when she walked in and heard them say that.

She started saying our doctor was no good and they should take him to the hospital.

She went on to say her mother is a doctor and she took nursing classes and she believed my father should go to the hospital.

That’s about when I lost it.

First off, her mother is a psychiatrist or something like it.

Secondly, thinking about being a nurse isn’t the same as being one.

Thirdly my doctor through her out because she used to go to see him with 100 different ailments she found on the internet and had already decided what the doctor should do before he even looked at her.

Oh yeah, I went ballistic.

“Get the FUCK out of this house now you stupid BITCH”.

She went to say something.

‘Shut your fucken trap and get out”.

This is where the ambulance attendant, a young guy in his 20s though his balls had fully grown decided to step in.

He tells me to watch my language in front of my niece.

At that moment, language wasn’t an issue, my niece hears worse at home from her mother’s mouth and this was about my father not this bitch.

Walking towards her I pointed to the door and said in no muffed voice.”GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW”.

What does the attendant do?

He says “Shut up”.

I stopped half way down the hall and turn around.

“What”?         

I walked right back to him and in a calm voice said “Say it again”.

“Tell me to shut up in my house again”.

The female attendant knew he fucked up the first time.

Everything up until my SIL showed up was cordial but I guess he was mesmerized by her fake tits and didn’t see the real danger infront of him.

He walked away and the SIL beat it out the door leaving my niece behind.

She later told the male attendant her mother talks to much.

He came an apologized to me for stepping out of line before he left.

My SIL has yet to speak to me, WHOOOO HOOOO

My female friend got out of the hospital but two days later fell and fractured her knee after getting drunk when she found out she had cancer in her girly bits.

This is just a tiny bit of my life.

A 24 hour period to be exact.

Sigh, I need better pot

Have a nice weekend

Walker

Words Of Wisdom ©

A kid today asked me ``Why do you say fuck so much``
Why the fuck do I know, because I'm Canadian.
No, that wasn’t my answer
So I think about it for a bit.

Let’s see, I was born on the border of Quebec and Ontario to immigrant parents.
On one side they want you to be French and on the other side they want you to be English. At home they want you to be Greek.
The French don’t understand the English
The English don’t care to understand the French and the Greeks they never understand period but they all understand one word.
Fuck.
So my answer was simple. ``Fuck off kid``

Have a nice weekend

 Walker

Time For A Reality Check ©

They say we are supposed to learn from our mistakes but as I look at the world I am baffled and dismayed.

We are supposed to be a civilized world with supposedly respect and compassion for others.

With all this new technology we are developing we are supposedly getting even farther out of the Stone Age.

People are living longer…supposedly.

To say I am confused would be an understatement,

To say I am frustrated would be putting it lightly.

Who do I blame for all of this, the state of the world?

The politicians?

The clerics?

Society?

God?

Politicians, they talk about the shit happening around them.

Then they debate about it for twice as long

Take a two month break for the summer then come back and start back from the beginning to refresh their memories while all hoping this delay has solved the calamity on its own saving them a decision.

Clerics, A bunch of fucken pimps from the popes/Ayatollahs right down to the Priests/Shaikhs who recruit their followers.

People who interpret and twist words to lure the poor, lost and angry to their bullshit.

Society, Our zeal to quickly move forward so fast we have left more than half the world still back in the Stone Age and instead of aggressively educating these people we take the easy way out by giving them tools they never got a chance to learn how to respect.

You don’t take the sticks and stones from the Neanderthal and give him a computer or a AK47 until we taught him how to respect life.

Now who is going to teach us?

God, what a fucker this guy is or her.

Allah is on our side,

In god we trust it says across a lot of our money.

All these morons believe in the same god.

If we took the three main religions which represent at least half of the population of this planet we can place them in the same family group.

The first testament was all of their first bibles.

Talk about a dysfunctional family.

This is when they were all equal, brothers and sisters with a common cause, survival.

In time, as is in all families that outgrow their home they spread out and over the millennia they all loose contact with their past and become strangers to their own in the future.

The world is going down the poop shoot and we are letting it.

Why do we even have a United Nations?

From my perspective there should be an equal amount of troops from each country who has signed onto this union on constant standby with their only allegiance to the UN and only them.

Otherwise it’s nothing but a club for old politicians to go to argue while they wait to die.

If someone doesn’t like it then they can pack their shit up and leave.

UN troops are supposed to be a unbias police force.

It should be.

Instead it’s a farce.

Organization like ISIS should be dealt with immediately.

The UN should be able to deploy troops like any sovereign country sends out the police to deal with a crime but we let certain superpowers have vetos.

A guard dog with no teeth is called a pet.

Those who have it in mind to commit atrocities must also have the fear of being punished for it in their heads also.

Walker

Nuts, But Not Mine ©

Well Itisi some real news from the home front.

Here I am again.

The year is almost over and I find myself single again.

Am I bitter?

Yes, but not because we broke up but because of the way it was done.

For starters I was I was betrayed.

She signed up on a dating site while still going out with me.

She didn’t have the stones to come to me first and tell me she wanted out but kept me on the ropes sitting at home thinking there was a woman in my life when if fact there wasn’t

I knew there was something wrong a few weeks earlier and I went prowling around and I found her.

I didn’t confront her I just sat back and waited to see what she would do but like I said she didn’t have the stones to say anything to me.

I had to phone her and make her give me an answer but she still denied she wasn’t looking for someone else.

If there is a nightmare situation when it comes to long distance relationships this would be one of them

I think to myself where did I go wrong.

When she went for surgery I was there taking care of her and driving her father around to appointments

When her son fucked up on a trip to Florida while she was with me in Canada I consoled her and had to swallow my principles to the point I almost puked but because I loved her… then I offered to shield the boy even take him here to Canada to avoid any trouble.

Does any of that count?

No.

Are all women like this?

I hope not.

You would think as a fucken courtesy she would have at least broken up with me like a real woman instead of slithering around in the grass like she did.

Am I bitter yes but not for her leaving but for bringing her into my family.

At me for thinking she was a better person that she actually was, is.

Looking at her history I should have seen it much earlier but love blinds us to the point we even forget our moral obligations.

It’s a sad day but not in my life.

I can actually take a breath of freedom and pity the next bastard.

The Walker News ©

I’ll just pretend I haven’t been gone for I don’t know how long.

I have so much to blog about I have stopped blogging.

Weird

The world is gone to hell and back.

They are talking about marriage licenses that will have to be renewed every five years thus avoiding divorces, you just don't renew.

I wonder if you would have to go for an emissions test every two years as well.

Better stop eating tex-mex food if you do.

The United States still has a Black president.

To be honest with you I thought he would have been shot by Dick Cheney in a golfing accident by now.

I like Obama.

You know who else I like, John McCain

I bet if Party lines were abolished the world would be a lot better place.

Just like I believe if we nuked the Middle East all our problems would be over and just think how many condos they could build there in 500 years when its safe from radiation.

Germany won the world cup and Brazil is still suffering from poverty.

They are planning on sending astronauts to Mars.

Apparently they will have to sleep for three years.

Now, not to sound prejudice or racist in any way but just going by the stereotypical representation portrayed by Hollywood over the last hundred years, isn't this just another job suited for illegal Mexicans?

I’m just saying.

There is a major Ebola outbreak in Africa, U.N. workers have evacuated the area but say even though the best authority to the disease died from it we are told there is nothing to worry about.

In other news, displaced U.N. workers have volunteered for the mission to Mars

Toyota stock holders celebrated another GM recall.

Putin denies giving ground to air missiles to Ukrainian separatists and its true.

He gave them to the Russian soldiers before they became Ukrainian separatists

Jay Leno is gone, Letterman is still here and Conan has made Purgatory his home.

This is just a bit what has been going on in the world which in some way still effects you and me.

T’ill next time, whenever the fuck that will be, chow and good health, wealth to everyone.

Have a nice weekend

Walker

Speed Limit Is 55 ©

Today I turn 55. Sounds more like a speed limit and in some way it is.
It’s usually the speed I have to run to the washroom more often now than I used too when I was younger. It’s funny, when I was younger I would just piss behind a tree but as I got older I would rather fight to get to the washroom before I piss my pants.
I guess it’s a matter of pride.

 Fifty-five, sounds like a big number, but is it?
It’s but a spec of a second in time when we compare it to the universe who in it’s self is a spec in time its own reality.
In these 55 years I have witnessed a lot of shit.
Smoked a lot of it too.

I embraced rock and roll as my mantra, not because of it’s loud anger or its audacious expression of life from its most primal level of being but because it said it plain and simply in a language I understood.
Even when the lines were blurred the lyrics made sense to those of us who lived those words.

As those words gripped your soul with reality it was the thunder behind them that pulsed the blood through your veins.
Disco came and we all took a whirl but it only gave us the thunder to keep us moving.
Rap, I have always bad mouthed rap and I will admit I have been unfair, not that I like it now but I might of taken it more seriously if they'd pulled their pants up from the start.
I had to cut rappers some slack one day when I heard some rap on the radio.
It’s not so much that I agreed with it but at least I could understand what he was talking about, unlike Bob Dylan singing.

Rock n roll, from the cave men to the Rolling Stones, “who are almost just as old”, have beaten the drums that tell us about living. Its been said rock n roll crawled out of rhythm and blues who in itself comes out of blues gospel and country music.
At least that’s what the experts say but when I look at their research they fail to point out that all of these genres that are supposedly all linked together have one thing in common.
That's the common person, you and I.

So all that said, on my 55th birthday I share with you one of my favorites.

 

 Have a nice day

 Walker

We Survived, How Will Our Kids Survive Without All Of This ©

Have a nice weekend


Walker

Calling Ground Control ©

Fuck the Bermuda triangle, stay away from the South China Sea.

Fight MH370 leaves Malaysia for Beijing then poof, gone.

Six days and not a spec of debris.

Nothing.

Forty ships and forty planes from an international force are searching the area for any possible sign for the missing plane with its over 200 passengers.

Families of said passengers desperately waiting for some word about their loved ones fate.

Six days now and nothing.

Are they looking in the right place?

They have brought in satellites to help in the search but the only thing they found with them were two sperm whales getting in on.

Billions of dollars in technology and the best they can do is whale sex.

Is there a you tube post I can watch?

Maybe it’s on facebook.

Now they are saying for four hours after the plane disappeared from radar it’s Rolls Royse engines were still communicating with the mother plant.

Huh, I don’t know what’s stranger, the fact that the engines knew the plane was still flying around for four hours after it disappeared and the airport didn’t or that the engines can communicate with the plant they were made in via satellite and I can’t get a cell tower for a signal on my phone.

I have been listening to the different possibilities but have yet to hear one mention Aliens or some kind of time dimensional shift sending those poor bastards to a different realm of time or space.

Yeah, yeah it sounds nuts until you wake up one day and you’re being probed by some ugly fuck and it isn’t Saturday morning.

Then we have to beg Will Smith and Jeff Goldbloom to save us.

You know, I don’t feel bad any more about loosing my cell phone in the house, these fucks lost a giant airplane worth millions.

You would think for all that money someone would have thought to put in find plane features like we have for the phone.

Have a nice weekend

Walker

Pussy Footing Around ©

So I am laying on the couch watching the news about the happenings going on in the Ukraine.

Now I have an opinion on the situation but this post isn’t about my opinion but more about the posturing the world and the parties involved are performing.

Let’s face it, it’s already a done deal but for the dancing.

As I am watching the TV, two of my four cats come bouncing in like two seasoned fighters, circling each other trying not to expose a vulnerable target for the other to attack.

Like two black panthers, mother, daughter slowly closed the gap between them coiled up like two heavy duty springs ready to explode in a cascade of claws and fur.

Looking away from the TV and Putin’s “I don’t give a fuck about anyone” look, Alice sprung at her mother, wrapping herself around her neck clawing and biting as hard and as fast as she could.

Just as Obama came on the news babbling about something I didn’t hear but I could hear him telepathically speaking to Putin,

“ What the fuck are you doing bitch|?

“Couldn’t you have done all this quietly or waited until I was gone from office”?

“Can’t you see I got my hands full with heath care, immigration and that fucken cry baby Biden constantly whining about Hillary running for president but no, you have to go out there stomping your little feet in those big shoes pissing everyone off and blaming me again for not doing something”.

That’s when Elvira rolled over Alice and tore into her belly.

Screaming with pain Alice tried to escape but she was done and knew it so she went limp giving up.

This is where the point I am trying to make come to light.

When Elvira was sure she had won, she starts licking the others ass and this isn’t the first time I have seen this.

Every time the battle is over the winner licks the other ones ass.

Do these animals know something that we don’t or did they find my stash and are getting high.

But you know, as I am sitting here thinking about this, we do it too.

Think about it.

WWII, The bad guys, Italy, Germany, Japan.

They were responsible for destroying most of the world and the architects behind the annihilation of millions of souls.

We, the allies kicked their butts and won.

We beat them so bad they had to bend over for us to lick their butts after the war so they could become better off than we are today.

Same thing isn’t it?.

The victor gets to suck ass and watch their economy go down the drain while the vanquished rise out of the ashes better than they started and with our tax money to boot.

Maybe we need to loose once in a while to get our asses licked?

I wonder who has the longer tongue, Putin or Obama?

The only thing we know for sure is as politicians they will be forked tongues.

As Elvira licked away, out of the corner of my eye I spot Salem, the 30 pound tomcat walk by down the hall with a medium pizza box clenched in his mouth eagerly being followed by his son Ozzy.

I see more ass licking down the road.

Have a nice day

Walker

Cell Me ©

Bloody technology is making me crazy and I am supposed to understand this shit better than the average person but no.

I’m a stump on some things like cell phones.

Over the last two decades I have had a dozen or so cell phones.

In the last 4 years though I have gone through no less than 6 cell phones (with a price tag of $2300), four of which were in the last four months.

First one was a Motorola flip phone which worked great until I flipped it one day and it flew away from the bottom part of the phone.

Next I got a slider phone which I must say I loved to text with but so did my daughter who took that and gave me a brand new …….. fucken flip phone.

Granted it was a Samsung but I was done with flip phone.

The thing would cut off when I needed it the most.

“Hi Mike, it’s Walker, yeah, I got off the 401 and turned left on service road 39 about 40 minutes ago and I still haven’t come to country road 22 yet”.

These people must have run out of names.

“What, what do you mean I was supposed to turn left on country road 22 first ?”

“There was no Country road 22…….the second left…. But your email said just first left?”

My gas gauge said I was at a half quarter tank.

What it didn’t say was, I was lost in the boonies.

“So what is the best way back to your place?”

“Yeah, keep going until I hit a stop sign, yeah then I turn……hello…Mike?”

Damn blue tooth must be dead.

Pull over and grab at the phone but there is no one at the other end because there are no more bars on the phone.

I figure go to the stop sign and try calling again from there.

About 5 kilometres down the road I come to a four way stop.

I pull over and try the phone again.

It rang about 4 times when Mike picked it up, right before the battery died.

You know, I don’t have a charger in the car.
You know because most of us don;t until this shit happens then we get one.

In front of me I have three choices, straight, right or left.

Lighting up a cigarette I get logical on it and came to the conclusion that left was the one because straight would be going farther, right would likely take me away and left felt like it would swing back.

Sounds logical to me.

Blowing a mouthful of smoke out the window I noticed a scarecrow in the field next to me.
It was a scary one, it had its pants down around its ankles like a rapper.

I went left and at first is swung east for the longest time then went a little southwest for a bit then east again and about half an hour later I came up to a side road that looked like it went north.

What to do, gas gauge didn’t look good.

I turn north and drove for about twenty minutes when I came to another another four way stop.

Now what?

I look at the phone to see if maybe the phone fairy charged it for me but it was still dead.

I pulled out another smoke to think on it and as I sat there I noticed another scarecrow across the intersection.

People around here like ugly scarecrows.

Logically if I turn right I would be going east according to my inner compass so I turn right and must have drove for half an hour in the middle of nowhere before I came a a road turning right.

This time I decided to keep going straight and twenty minutes or so later came to another damn four way stop and another one of those damn scarecrows.

I sat there staring in every direction and each time my eyes ended up on the scarecrow.

It’s the same scarecrow but I saw it from different sides each time.

This whole fucken area is a huge cul de or kiss my sac.

What idiots make these roads.

So I looked at the whole thing from the beginning and I did what I should have done from the start.

Turn around and go back the way I came in the first place.

I found a gas station as soon as I got to the 401 and from there I went home.

To hell with Mike, my damn phone and my inner compass..

So I got a blackberry.

Never had one of those.

It looked small and compact with a keyboard for the texting I never do.

It didn’t work out.

My fat finger wasn’t made for poking a little button to make things work.

Works great for poking a fat juicy clit but not a blackberry.

One month it lasted before I replaced it with a Iphone 4.

Piece of shit that turned out to be.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great looking phone but it has a flaw.

When its sitting flat on the table I get 3-4 bar but when you pick it up it looses service.

You have to hold it with two fingers like you would hold a stinky diaper to get it to at least one bar maybe two.

One week.

Now I have a Samsung S4, I love it.

I does shit that I don’t even need.

It knows when I'm looking it and when I look away it closes but when I look back it comes on.

It thinks I don’t know but I know, Phone Police “wink”.

When I wave a hand over it is senses it and turns on and when I pull it away it goes off.

It’s cool.

Saves energy that way but it did fuck me up the other day when I brought it upstairs with me and left it on the night stand.

It kept going on and off continuously.

Off, on, off, on , off, on…. But when I leaned up to look at it there was nothing wrong until I put it down and lay back in bed.

This went on a couple of times before I came to me.

I turned the phone off and lay back in bed.

Never jerk off with your cell phone on.

Have a nice day

Oh the iphone 4 makes a great Itouch for music

Walker

Let's Compare ©

Let's compare what we up here in the northern United States and Canada get in the winter 

Hmmm 

Have a nice weekend

Walker

What Season Is It Again? ©

So let’s do a recap of the weather of late.

A month ago we got snow by the yard.

Not inches and hell not centimetres, maybe meters.

I have seen lots of snow and pushed it off but this is the first time I had to dig my way out.

You know you are in trouble when you look where you have the snow blower chained at and you can’t see it.

It’s there, somewhere.

After hours of battle with the big white ugly we built a small mountain on the side of the road for my tax money to go to work, eventually.

Totally exhausted I remember coming in and passing out for a couple of hours or maybe a little more but when I woke up and looked out the window the small mountain wasn’t there any more.

It was buried under a fresh new pile of white shit.

This time the snow was a third of the way up the door.

It’s like the fucken beginning of October, winter is supposed to start in December.

What the fuck is this shit?

Where the hell are you supposed to put this crap when the street is already full?

I think we are all going about this snow removal business in the wrong way.

We got to get a little Eskimo on this shit.

Where’s Si from Duck Dynasty I need some back up here.

I love Duck Dynasty.

We have rednecks here to, we just call it frostbite.

Build Igloos with the damn stuff.

You know that mud room you always wanted to build in the front but couldn’t afford.

Here’s your chance, build it and in the spring it will just melt away watering your lawn for spring as it goes.

Maybe that garage you always wanted to put you car in during the winter.

Make some forms for blocks and start building, more fun than shovelling.

After the blizzard from hell passes, Hell freezes over.

-50?

Give me a break.

This isn’t Winnipeg.

Actually it’s colder there, so cold Winnie’s Poo would bounce and shatter when it hits the ground.

A solid week of frigid weather.

They are bitching in Atlanta Ga. that its –10.

Big deal, cover your peaches with a hanky it’s –50 up here for us.

You could get your tongue stuck licking a exposed nipple…… I guess that wouldn’t be so bad though.

Now, this coming Saturday it’s going to be 8 decrees.

8?

-50 last week and 8 this weekend.

What’s next, a meteor shower?

The weatherman said it will be like paradise and should rename the city Ottalulu.

Does this idiot even know what paradise is?

Probably got a blowjob while he slept and woke up happy.

It was the dog moron, probably looking for a drop of fluid because his water bowl was frozen.

Over in the UK they have 50-60 foot waves.

You can tell they never seen waves that big before and hoards of them run to the wharfs to watch these massive blankets of water come crashing down on them.

HELLO when there is a 50 foot wave bearing down on you, you don’t park under it, then feebly try to out run it as your car is washed out to sea.

For all those people who don’t believe in global warming you can kiss my frozen ass and for those who named it global warming, you have done way too much LSD.

Global FUBAR would be more appropriate.

Stay warm

Walker