"EEEEEEEEEEEEK" ©

Oh look, Walker wrote a post.

Actually I have started may and finished none.

I don’t know what it is.

I don’t think I am done with blogging but I think it’s more of I am tired of writing the same crap all the time.

Which basically means I am bored with the same shit day in day out.

Boring, that’s what I call my life.

Some say I lead an exciting life.

I just see the same crap all the time.

Everyday my phone rings no less than ten times with people asking for help with one thing or another.

Nothing big.

Parents calling for me to do some shopping for them.

My father lost his license until he gets his eyes checked.

He went for the test and after 10 tries he failed the distance part.

So I make an appointment at his doctors where he gets tested on various machines.

At one machine the assistant tells my father when he sees a light to press the button.

I sat in a chair next to her while he took the test.

As I sat there my father was hammering away at the button.

She looked at me and said, “He is guessing”.

I asked her how she knew that.

She says,” I haven’t started the program yet”.

The doctor says his eyes are not that bad but he keeps failing the eyes test.

I was stumped.

The doctor was stumped.

My mother wasn’t, she says he failed because he was a jackass and probably couldn’t read the alphabet.

Couldn’t read the alphabet.

I think for a second and ask my father if he knew the alphabet in English.

We assume our parents can read.

My parents can, Greek that is but my father can’t read English that well.

So I ask him if he knew the letters he was reading and he says yes, mostly.

Mostly?

Really?

When you are doing a test where the answer is one letter close enough doesn’t count.

I take a notepad and start writing out some capital letters and ask him what they were and he was going good but then we got to the “J”.

In Greek a “J” has an “eeeeee” sound so when he saw a jay on the test he said “eeeee”

WRONG!!!!!. .

When I showed him and “H” he said he didn’t know what it was but in Greek it has a “eeeeee” sound so he says “eeeee”

WRONG!!!!!

I showed him and “I” and he says “eeeee”, yup it also has an “eeee” sound.

WRONG!!!!!!!

So I show him and “E” and he looks at me and say he knows what that is, it’s an “a” because in Greek it sounds like a short “a”.

WRONG!!!!!!

I can’t get to mad at him because for someone with his past and living through the second world war and not getting past the second grade because of it, he can still read and write in Greek, but his English sucks.

I would have loved to have known all this crap before we did all those driving tests and eye exams.

 So now I am teaching my father his ABCs before he goes for his eye test at the ministry of transportation again.

A friend calls wanting to know if I still offer body guard services.

Huh, I’m 53, the body is so banged up from the past I creak when I was walk and if I stop to fast I might actually break something off.

I would be more of an obstacle to hide behind than a body guard .

I have an old customer who calls weekly with computer problems that he usually creates because he tries every free app he finds online he can download.

He is a really nice guy who I stopped charging years ago.

I can’t charge him, I would be embarrassed too.

He never had any kids and he made a lot of money before he retired that he doesn’t know what to do with so he keeps buying me shit that he likes.

He is hooked on electronics

There was a sale on laptops, he bought me one.

When he hears I am going down to see Inia in N.Y. he drops by and tries to give me money.

The only thing he wants back is to make sure his 4 computers are running so he can surf the net, get emails and to download every virus online to his computers to give me more work I won’t charge for.

He wants to know if I could use and Ipad.

NOOOOOOOOO!!

I get no less that ten calls a week from India with someone trying to sell me duct cleaning services.

I keep telling then no but they keep calling making me crazy so now I have started a new strategy

I tell them I do need my ducts cleaned and when the technicians shows up at my door with all his equipment I tell him I never asked for it.

You harass me you get it back.

So you see nothing much has changed.

I’m still living a boring life.

Until I hook up with Inia every month, then its never dull from the time I hit U.S. customs until I get to Canadian customs on the way back.

Have a nice day

Walker